


head up, heart strong

by gooseberries



Series: keep your head up, darling [1]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Joe and nicky are immortal gay dads, M/M, Nicky | Nicolò di Genova Has Catholic Guilt, Only the aftermath is discussed, Queer Themes, Religious Discussion, Tags May Change, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 49,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28746387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooseberries/pseuds/gooseberries
Summary: after the betrayal at merrick industries, they all needed time to heal and time to rediscover all the parts of humanity worth protecting. while andy and nile travel the world, joe and nicky end up establishing themselves in normal society. nicky spends his time working as a nurse at a free clinic for abuse victims while joe is a literature and poetry professor at the local university. life is peaceful. that is, until they accidentally take in a queer teen who needs their love and acceptance.a story of how joe and nicky find healing in helping a mortal girl find her own voice.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: keep your head up, darling [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2116479
Comments: 52
Kudos: 111





	1. September 2019 - Joe

**Author's Note:**

> is this goose back here with another fic even when I have a couple of WIPs I could be working on? yes, absolutely. in my defense, the plot bunnies would not leave me alone for this one and it's all planned out to the tee. half of it is already written so this should actually be updated on a regular basis. strange, i know. anyway, I hope y'all enjoy!

Joe’s office was always much colder than he wished it to be. After dying from hypothermia at least three times in their attempts to find Booker in the Napoleonic Wars, Joe always made sure he never stayed cold for too long. He paused in the middle of grading one paper to reach behind him for the jacket he kept in the room for emergencies such as this. It was one that Nicky had bought for him when they had first moved here, claiming that America was colder than what he was expecting.

Nicky would be working late at the clinic that night, Joe would have to remember to pick up supplies to make dinner for him. He knew that tonight they would either be celebrating or mourning the results of the funding meeting Nicky had to attend all day.

It seemed so simple, to be worrying about such things as whose turn it was to cook dinner and what time the other person would be off work. It had been years, decades even, since the last time he and Nicky could retreat somewhere and live seemingly normal lives.

Though, he supposed that had been the exact point Nile had tried to make in London. The group had become so cynical toward humanity, especially after what happened at Merrick. After much talking, she and Andy agreed that the only way to heal from what had happened would be to find the good in humanity, in the world, again. The two women would explore the world as much as they could for as long as they could. Nile had only ever seen the United States and the war-torn areas of Afghanistan, and while Andy had lived for millennia she had hardly stopped to sightsee.

Joe and Nicky had a habit of running off for a couple of years now and then to see the world. They had visited every landmark they could think of when the group needed time apart. Now, they thought they’d try something new; find jobs, settle down, and try to live peacefully as any other person would. Nicky’s first choice was the United States -  _ “Yusuf, we haven’t been there since their Civil War! So much has changed since then, we have to live the American Dream.” _ \- and Joe could hardly refuse him.

So he ended up teaching at a university, reading essays analyzing a poem he had written some eight centuries before. At first, it was amusing how all of his students discussed what great brotherhood the poet had with the man in the poem. Now, more than twenty essays in, all Joe wanted to do was step into the lecture hall and ask how they could have possibly missed the point. Just as he was ready to give up, Joe finds the analysis he was looking for.

_ ‘The poet speaks of a passion so strong he can hardly contain it though also speaks of the need to restrain proof of that passion. He loves that man so deeply he is willing to offer any proof of this restrained love, even his heart. They have separated to hide the love they share for each other though the poet finds he can only long for his lover to return; his fate having been sealed the moment he met the other man.’ _

The writing wasn’t perfect but Joe found himself rereading each paragraph so he could remember exactly how this person described the early phases of his and Nicolo’s love. Joe thought through his class, trying to imagine who could have seen straight through his words with as much brilliance. “Sophia Moore,” Joe spoke quietly, running through the lecture hall in an attempt to match the name to a face. When no one came to mind, he could only guess that she either never attended lectures or was one of the quiet few in the back who might as well not have been in lecture.

Regardless, Joe would have to correct the wildly inaccurate interpretations of her classmates in lecture. He stood from his desk, raising his arms above him in a stretch even though any muscle strain healed before he noticed it. It was a small university, so the entire literature department was contained in one building and the lecture hall was only a floor below his office. By the time he made it there, most of his students had already gotten settled into their seats. Joe walked down to the desk every other seat was pointed toward, leaning against it and crossing his arms over his chest loosely.

“I hope everyone had a good weekend and I hope everyone had a good time watching our football team, though not too much fun,” Joe spoke up, already allowing a bright smile to wash over his face. He took extra time to look over the back row of seats, wondering which one of the students there was the brilliant writer. “Since you all have made me read some absolutely riveting essays, I think I’ll take roll today.” He could already see one woman in the front whip out her phone, presumably to tell her friend that she better get to class so she isn’t counted absent. Joe runs through the list, stopping to take a quick glance at every person. It was already September and while he wasn’t required to know their names, it certainly felt strange to not know everyone in his classroom yet.

“Sophia Moore,” he called out finally, raising his eyebrows a little as no one raised their hand. “Sophia Moore?” he called a little louder then. A surge of disappointment was just beginning to swell in his chest when finally a hand shot in the air and a small voice announced itself as here. The young woman, really the  _ girl _ with as young as she looked, was sat firmly in the middle of the room, shoulders hunched forward and cheeks a brilliant shade of red. “Excellent paper, by the way,” he told her before moving on to the rest of roll call. Sophia Moore is completely unassuming; she could not be any more average-seeming. He was sure that she’s never once said a single word during their lecture discussions though he found himself wishing she would share her thoughts more. Clearly, she had some eloquent ideas that were getting completely ignored.

“Now that we’re done with that, I want to discuss the poem I assigned you all to analyze last week. You all had drastically different interpretations of the author’s meaning and I’d like you to debate it before I reveal what the generally accepted interpretation is,” Joe explains, trying his hardest not to make direct eye contact with Sophia. “Would anyone like to start?”

A large hand flew into the air, nearly making Joe wince at what he knew was to come. The essay that this man had written was borderline homophobic with its interpretation. “Okay, Josh, you have the floor.”

Josh stood up, giving one confident smirk before he began to launch into his explanation of Joe’s poem. “The author was writing about one of the strongest friendships a person can have. Clearly, the guy loved his friend and even took an oath of brotherhood with the guy.” Joe had to stop himself from rolling his eyes at the response.

“That is one interpretation. Would anyone like to add on to that?” Joe asked, this time making direct eye contact with Sophia Moore. She seemed to shrink into her seat for a moment and just as Joe was preparing to give up, she let out a small sigh and raised her hand. “Sophia, you have the floor.”

“I’m sorry, but there’s no way this was about a friendship. Al-Kaysani was in love with this man,” Sophia began tentatively, her voice soft and wavering, “He clearly says:

_ The heart is restrained from what it seeks, _

_ Shut up and be passion of him besieged, _

_ Unable to obtain its desire. _

No one says that sort of thing about their brother. The poet loved the man in the poem desperately.”

“Guys can love their brothers,” Josh spoke up, voice already clearly angry, “This is the 12th-century men weren’t gay yet.”

“You think there weren’t gay people back then? There’ve been gay people all throughout history, their voices were just erased over time because no one wanted to admit they were there. Much like you and your talk of ‘brotherhood’, the people of the 12th-century were simply too afraid of two men in love to admit that it was there.” Joe wouldn’t have been surprised if those words had come from his own lips, but the evidence that said otherwise was too plain. Sophia Moore’s face was even redder than when she nearly missed roll call, her entire body nearly quaking from where she stood, arms wrapped tightly around her middle. Though, her bright eyes were staring right at Josh as if daring him to counter her words.

Josh did, in fact, take that dare. “Listen here, not everything has to be made a gay thing now just because you guys have started throwing it in our faces more a-”

“Okay, we’ll stop right there for now,” Joe finally stepped in, even taking a step forward so he was no longer leaning against his desk. “We all agreed at the beginning of this course to be respectful and accepting as we were going to be discussing some sensitive topics.” He waited for both parties to sit down fully before continuing, flashing Sophia a quick smile as if checking she was okay. “It is generally agreed upon that al-Kaysani was indeed referring to a passionate love for another man, making this poem one of the earliest examples of generally accepted homoerotic literature.”

The lecture continued with him explaining the intent of the ‘author’ as though he hadn’t remembered placing ink to page in an effort to explain his deep desire for  _ a Frank _ who had killed him not once but at least a dozen times by that point. At the time, Joe had truly believed he was meant to kill his love again and again until the end of days. How could they ever find common ground after such an invasion? It hardly seemed possible but after an endless number of deaths, they were finally able to lay down their weapons and find common ground.

After more discussions in which Sophia Moore continuously defended the poet al-Kaysani and his unknown love, Joe decided that he liked this girl. He just hoped that she would continue to speak up in class.

* * *

It was truly a wonder that Joe remembered dinner that night. Typically Mondays were Nicky’s night to cook as lectures tended to make Joe a little scatter-brained and worn-out. It was a big day for his husband though -- Joe would never tire of hearing the word,  _ husband _ , they’d kept up their effort to marry each other in every country with a winter wedding soon after they arrived in the US -- and he would likely want a night to relax as he would be undoubtedly exhausted.

Or maybe not quite so undoubtedly, Joe thought as the front door of their house nearly slammed open. He could hear frantic steps throughout the house, sounds of a coat thrown messily over a chair, and shoes nearly flying off of feet to land somewhere in the front room. When Nicky finally made it to the kitchen/dining space he looked wild, standing there in his blue scrubs and his cheeks nearly pink with his frustration.

“I take it the meeting did not go well,” Joe spoke up, standing to greet his heart with a kiss and a glass of wine. He himself didn’t drink but that didn’t mean he couldn’t spoil his partner.

“They are cutting funding  _ again _ , Joe,” Nicky sighed, taking a large drink of the wine, “At this point, the government is hardly helping us. They said it would not be as beneficial to the public as their other ventures. It’s a free clinic for abuse victims, Joe, how much more beneficial could they want?”

“They don’t understand the cause,” was the only way Joe could answer as he too didn’t understand. He rubbed his thumb gently over Nicky’s elbow covered in the long-sleeved undershirt he always wore with his scrubs. “You will show them. You and all of the other kind-hearted, selfless nurses will show them how necessary the clinic is,  _ Habibi _ .” Joe grinned as he could physically feel Nicky melt further into him at the name. “I made dinner and everything, you should mark the occasion.”

“Thank you,” Nicky returned and Joe understood that it was for more than just dinner. Ever since they had been taken by Merrick, Nicky had formed a deep mistrust and anger toward selfish people in positions of high power. They had seen it all throughout the world but it was now working at a charity clinic that Nicky could feel the effects first-hand. Joe knew that it could be a harsh reality to deal with every day if the ever-deepening dark circles under his heart’s brilliant eyes were any indication.

“What will you do now without government funding?” Joe asked once they settled down at the table.

“We have to find other private donors,” Nicky lamented, taking his frustration out with his fork on the plate, “We will figure it out, we always do.”

“I have faith in you,  _ Habibi _ . I could always set up a charity event at the university. You know the department head loves me, she would agree to it,” Joe offered. He never tired of trying to make things easier for Nicky. Especially now, after he had been forced to witness Nicky,  _ his Nicolo _ , being brutally experimented on by so-called doctors and scientists. Even a year later Joe still woke in the middle of the night desperate to ensure he still had Nicky wrapped up in his arms.

“I’ll bring it up to Clara next shift, see what she thinks of the idea,” Nicky spoke up before smiling brightly at him, “You had class today, yes? How was it?”

“All of my students seem to think you and I took an oath of brotherhood,” Joe teased, watching with pure amusement as Nicky’s eyes widened and his lips parted in shock. “I had them read one of my poems about you.”

“ _ Yusuf _ , have you gotten a large head from being in charge of these children’s education?” Nicky admonished, shaking his head at him.

“I have not! I simply wondered what they would think of it and all of them disappointed me except one.”

“Oh? You have a star pupil then?”

“I wouldn’t say a star, no,” Joe laughed, pausing the conversation so he could shove another bite of food in his mouth. “I didn’t know she existed before today, honestly. The girl has never once spoken but today she had quite the temper. She seemed quite protective of the idea that I was in love with you.”

“I wonder if she would have spoken differently had she known the poet was in the room,” Nicky laughed. The sound of his laughter was enough for Joe’s entire expression to brighten.

“I imagine she would have, though she was absolutely correct that I was,  _ am _ , madly in love with you.”

“Which poem was it this time?”

“ _ The secret of love, how can it be contained _ ,” Joe recited from heart easily, probably making heart eyes enough for Nile to throw something had she been there.

“I loathe you compared me to a gazelle in that one,” Nicky sighed.

“Every young man was compared to a gazelle in those times.”

“I am  _ not _ a gazelle.” Was Nicky truly pouting now? Joe laughed then, standing so he could cross to the other side of the table. He positioned himself to straddle Nicky’s lap then, resting one hand on his chest and the other on the back of his neck.

“And what else had I said, Nicolo?  _ Beloved like a hart, with heart of a panther, _ ” Joe began to recite softly, pausing only to press gentle kisses to Nicky’s jaw and neck. “The moon when I’m lost in darkness, the warmth when I shiver in cold,”

“Would that be considered plagiarism, Joe? You’ve already said that,” Nicky teased, turning his head to catch him in a quick kiss.

“Not if it was myself,” Joe returned easily, “But just for that I’m going back to my own seat.” 

After a few more moments of eating in relative peace, Joe sighed and set his fork down. “I can’t begin to understand it. This girl is a fantastic writer and she won’t share her work. Even today when she spoke up she looked as though she would pass out.”

“Then inspire her to speak up,” Nicky said simply, shrugging his shoulders as though it were the easiest task to accomplish.

“Perhaps I will.”

* * *

The next lecture was even more painful than the last, if only because only the Joshs of the class were speaking up. No one had a voice loud enough to counter them, not even Sophia Moore. Joe was thankful for the end of the period when almost every student threw on their jackets and nearly sprinted out of the lecture hall. “Right, now in the spirit of the poem you all have been analyzing for the past week, I want you to try your hand at writing a poem. Make it about one thing, but try to see if you can make it seem as though it’s about something else. Get creative with this, guys, you have one week to see what you come up with.”

“Miss Moore, could I speak to you for a moment?” Joe called out as he dismissed the class, watching as some students turned a curious look to the girl.

“Um, yeah, yeah of course, Dr. J-”

“I believe I’ve mentioned before you can just call me Joe,” he cut her off quickly. He hadn’t wanted to seem too far away from his students even more than he’d already felt. He’d gotten several doctorates over the centuries but still, it hadn’t felt quite right to him, not when his last award had been back in the seventies.

“Right, sorry. What’s it you wanted to talk to me about?” Sophia asked nervously, picking at the sleeve of her sweatshirt from where she stood.

“I wanted to tell you that your essay was one of the best I’ve read in quite a while,” Joe told her, giving her a gentle smile in the hopes of calming her nerves some.

“Oh, um, thank you, professor, I appreciate it.”

“Can I ask what your major is?”

“Oh, oh no I’m not a college student. I’m a senior in high school, they’re just letting me go ahead and take a few credits here,” she explained, reaching a hand up to rub at the back of her neck with a tiny, sheepish smile adorning her face.

Even more impressive. This girl truly was a child then, and she’d managed to blow her classmates out of the water with her interpretation. “Well, then you should consider a future in literature. You’re very talented.”

Joe could see the moment his words got to her. Sophia’s posture visibly straightened, and though she still looked nervous she actually looked up to meet his gaze. “Thank you, I’ve always wanted to be an author someday so I guess this assignment is good practice.”

“I’m excited to see what you come up with,” he reassured her. Just as she was about to turn and leave, he spoke up, “and if I could give you some advice? Be bold with this assignment, don’t hold anything back.”

“Right, Thank you, Dr. - uh, Joe,” Sophia corrected herself, giving him a bright smile before scampering out of the room.

A week later and Joe found himself sat on the couch in their home, feet propped up on the coffee table while Nicky laid his head on Joe’s lap. One hand rested in Nicky’s hair while the other held poem after poem from his class’s most recent assignment.

“Find any inspiring poets yet?” Nicky asked, voice soft and drawn out as Joe’s soft pets of his hair lulled him to sleep.

“No, this assignment is a complete tragedy,” Joe groaned, using one hand to mark in red the score on the page before moving on to the next. “One guy wrote about how American football and soccer can be easily confused.”

“Oh, that is absolutely tragic.”

“I know! What absolute lack of-”

“It is absolutely horrible when you find someone who enjoys the sport only to find out they meant American football,” Nicky sighed, grinning up at Joe as his partner could only shake his head. 

“You know that isn’t what I meant.”

“But that is what  _ I _ meant,” Nicky laughed, raising his head to kiss Joe once before resting back in his lap. “What about that girl you were talking about? Was her poem any good?”

“I saved hers until last, I thought it might save this assignment from being a total failure.”

“Are you putting too much pressure on this girl? What if it’s about how hard it is to tell Rome apart from Paris? Now  _ that _ would be a tragedy,” Nicky teased, though Joe could tell there was a bit of seriousness to his statement. Of course, he was putting too much pressure on this girl, Sophia Moore. It was Joe’s first year teaching at the university so he’d mostly gotten stuck with the GE courses that filled with students who largely didn’t care about what he was teaching. It was refreshing to have a student who seemed genuinely passionate about the topic. Joe sighed, then picked up the page to begin reading:

_ Remember, _

_ when we were younger _

_ and we were scared _

_ of the monster in the closet? _

_ We never asked questions _

_ why it was there _

_ why the closet, of all places? _

_ We were too terrified _

_ But as we grew older _

_ some of us stopped being afraid _

_ because we knew it couldn’t hurt us _

_ But some of us didn’t _

_ to some of us, the monster grew _

_ and it would attack us _

_ late at night _

_ As the days went by _

_ all of us grew older _

_ and finding ourselves, one day at a time, _

_ the monster disappeared _

_ A weight off our chest _

_ we mourned its loss _

_ but praised its defeat _

_ We could finally leave the confines of this place _

_ this closet _

_ and Breathe _

_ Laugh _

_ Smile. _

_ Perhaps I was the monster in the closet after all. _

“Joe? Yusuf, are you alright?” Nicky asked, sitting up and bringing a hand up to Joe’s cheek. Had he been reading that long? It was when Nicky brushed the wet away that Joe even realized he was crying. It wasn’t even that the poem itself was groundbreaking. It was good, fantastic even, but it wasn’t the poem itself that had Joe crying. It was the realization of why he had taken a liking to Sophia Moore at all. It was looking at her and seeing remnants of the person his love had been before he was accepted. This was a girl who was deeply hurting, who was confused about her place in the world. This was a girl who was clearly told time and again people like her would not be successful. This was a girl who needed, desperately needed, to hear from someone like her who had made it. “ _ Hayati _ , what’s wrong?”

“She’s gay.”

* * *

A nervous energy filled Joe as he rushed through the next lecture that week. He paced the room as he spoke, gesturing wildly much as his Nicky would, and tried to distract himself from that poem. He and Nicky had spoken practically all night trying to figure out if he should comment on it. Clearly, though, the girl was hurting at the thought of her identity and if they could help one other person from hating themselves for years, then this would be all worth it.

So as soon as class was over, Joe called out, “Sophia? Could I talk to you?” She seemed just as nervous as before, if not more so as she tugged and pulled so hard on her sleeve Joe thought it might rip. “You exceeded my expectations on your assignment. I’d like to talk to you about it. The monster in the closet is an interesting metaphor.”

That was the moment Sophia seemed to put it all together. “Oh, no, I’m sorry, Dr. Jones, it really isn’t what it seems.”

“That would be the nature of the assignment, yes,” Joe answered gently, “But I think I understand what you meant it to mean.”

“No,” Sophia suddenly turned so hard he was shocked into silence. “I’m sorry, professor, but I really  _ don’t _ think you’d understand.”

“You know, my husband struggled a lot with self-worth after he realized who he loved,” Joe told her, watching as Sophia’s lip quivered a little before her expression melted. She glanced to his left hand where a wedding band did indeed sit on his finger along with a few other rings scattered across his hands.

“Your husband?” Sophia asked gently, looking up at him with wide green eyes as though she didn’t truly believe what he’d said.

“Yes, I suppose my dear Nicky thought himself a monster in the closet as well.” Joe sighed then, wishing he could find a way to wipe that horribly upset expression off her face. She truly was hurt more than he ever thought. “Would you like to get a cup of coffee and talk about it? It’s a safe space, I wouldn’t bring this up to any of your classmates.”

At first, Joe was sure Sophia would say no. She parted her lips to speak then closed them a few times before she finally settled on, “This isn’t some elaborate plan to get me alone and brutally murder me, is it?”

Joe let out a bright laugh at that one, knowing if Nicky could meet her that he would love this girl. “No, I don’t intend on brutally murdering you. It’s just clear you don’t have anyone to talk to about this and I have some experience myself.”

“Okay, then I would really like that.”

Within minutes they had walked to the nearest campus coffee shop, Joe getting both of their coffees before heading back to his office. At first, Sophia sat stiffly in the armchair there, though soon enough sunk into it as she grew more comfortable. Joe himself was sitting stiffer than normal, suddenly wondering if it was the best idea to be open with this girl about being gay. What if he said the wrong thing to her? How could he be sure that his advice was good?

“It was really tough, the first time I said it out loud,” Joe finally told her after sitting in silence for a few moments. Sophia was cradling her coffee with both hands as gently as possible, never taking her eyes off him as though she would soak up whatever information and comfort he gave her. “I was already with Nicky at the time, but I had never said the word. It took years for me to finally put a name to what I was. It’s relieving though, like a breath of fresh air after living in a box for half your life.”

“What if I can’t say it yet?” Sophia asked cautiously, hiding her expression by taking a sip of her drink.

“Give it time. That’s the beauty of all of this. No one can tell you when the right time is, it’s all up to you,” Joe told her.

“How will I know? I keep feeling so tired of hiding so much of myself, but I don’t know if I’m ready to face the consequences for telling people.”

“You have to decide for yourself if you’re in a situation where you’d rather be open and honest about yourself.”

“Did you ever tell your family?” Sophia asked, and wasn’t that a tough question? When his family was still alive, he very well might have been killed for wanting to marry a man. Of course, they knew that he had laid with a couple before, but that was completely different than wanting to forgo having a successful lineage for another man.

“I didn’t have the chance to before they passed,” Joe admitted, shrugging his shoulders. “If they were here now though...I believe I would have.” Of course, their views might have been totally different if they lived in the modern era, but Sophia didn’t need to know that particular fact. “It felt like I was keeping a part of myself away from them, it still hurts to think they won’t know everything important about me.”

“I’m sorry,” Sophia told him, raising her palms up in a gesture that said she didn’t really know how to handle this situation.

“It was a long time ago,” Joe replied.

“So they weren’t there for your wedding?”

“Not with Nicky. I was married once before, though, to a woman,” Joe explained, a small smile lifting his lips at the distant memory of his previous wife and even his child. He could honestly say he loved his wife, though they hadn’t had the same connection that he and Nicky had, for sure.

“Oh,” Sophia looked like she had more to say though the words got visibly caught in her throat. After another sip of her coffee, she said quietly, “I can’t imagine my family being at my wedding.”

“They wouldn’t approve?”

“I don’t think so. My dad wouldn’t, at least, and my mom just listens to whatever he says so...no. And my brothers might go if my dad wouldn’t also be super pissed with them for supporting it. I don’t know,” Sophia explained, and the expression of pure shame and hurt that filled her face made Joe want to hug her and promise her everything would be okay. Unfortunately, that was a promise that he just wasn’t sure could be kept. Though there was a lot of progress since his first life, society still had a long way to go in accepting people like her, like him, like them. 

“Your biological family is important, yes, but remember that they’re not everything. You’re going to get older, and meet friends that become so close they feel like they’re your family. Those people will be at your wedding supporting you so whole-heartedly you’ll almost forget your other family didn’t make it,” was all Joe could find to say. 

It seemed to be enough because Sophia set down her coffee and asked, “Can I hug you?”

“Of course,” Joe answered, surprised as she threw her arms around him as soon as he stood up. Had he said the right thing? He hoped that being able to talk it through helped Sophia even a little bit. “If you ever need to talk about any of this, know that I’m here, okay?”

“Right. Thank you, Joe, seriously. I really needed to hear all that,” Sophia answered as she gathered her bag and her coffee, “You really think it gets better for everyone? You weren’t just one of the lucky ones?”

“I feel incredibly lucky every day of my life, but I have to believe it gets better for everyone,” Joe admitted.

“Wow, your husband must love you when you say stuff like that,” Sophia laughed, pulling a similar sound from Joe as she brightened the mood once more.

“He certainly does. Have a good weekend, Sophia.”

“You too, Joe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! the chapters will alternate POVs between joe and nicky, so next up is everyone's favorite italian ex-crusader. also as a note, I truly believe joe and nicky wouldn't speak english when it's just them, but I'm not comfortable enough in any other language they might speak with one another and I don't want to use google translate and just hope it's right. so just imagine it.
> 
> also! joe's poem excerpts are from a real poem written by Isaac Ibn Abraham in about the 12th century. Sophia poem is one I found on the internet, though I did change some of the wording to fit better and I will link it here: allpoetry.com/poems/about/Coming-out


	2. October 2019 - Nicky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, everyone! I'm so thankful for the response the first chapter got. I wanted to give a few warnings for this chapter as well as mention that although this chapter is a bit rough, it will get better quickly as I definitely prefer to focus more on the recovery aspects of angst and hurt/comfort. I will list a few quick summaries at the bottom of exactly what is meant in the warnings if anyone prefers that.
> 
> warnings include:  
> implied/referenced abuse - there are definitely implications, as well as descriptions of injuries. nicky works at a clinic for victims, so descriptions of the aftermath for sure  
> implied/referenced homophobia - parents being described as unsupportive  
> discussions of religion - especially how religion relates to being lgbtq+

If the entire point of settling down for a few years was to fall in love with humanity again, then Nicky was doing a poor job of it by working at the clinic.

He spent most days there, dressed in his scrubs and patching up men and women who were betrayed by those who were supposed to love them. It was heartbreaking, and more often than not he left the clinic with tears in his eyes and a deep anger toward the people who could do that kind of damage to their loved ones. Nicky wasn’t sure he could have hated humanity more than he did after escaping from the Merrick labs, but working in the clinic and seeing all of the hurt made that possible. The man was almost ready to write off humanity as a lost cause until he spoke to one of his fellow nurses about his struggles.

Clara was a woman with an intimidating appearance but a heart of gold. She stood taller than most women at a solid 5’11” and had such a stocky build Nicky was sure she would hold her own in a fight against most men. When she treated a patient, though, her entire expression softened and he could see the love and care in her brown eyes even from a distance. When Nicky told her how angry he was after every shift at work, Clara just shook her head and said, “We all were angry at the beginning. Don’t focus on the perpetrators, Nicky, focus on the strength and bravery of the victims you see every day.”

When Nicky began to pay more attention to the stories of recovery from his patients, he began to find that piece of humanity that Nile had seemed sure was worth protecting. The woman was new to immortality, but already he had to think that it suited her well. She slotted perfectly into the group and made it feel a little more whole despite the glaring absence from two of their family members. She was good for Andy, too, pushing the other woman in ways that no one else had been able to since the witch trials. Nile still thought of the world in a way a mortal would, in ways that they all had long since forgotten. It was refreshing to be reminded of the positives of life.

“Nicky, don’t get upset, okay?” Clara warned as she came back from the waiting area to the treatment center where Nicky was prepping some of the common supplies.

“I’ll try not to,” he promised back quickly, already able to tell from her expression that they had a repeat patient. Those were the worst; they would patch them up and the patient would have so much hope that they could get out of their situation, only to return a couple months later with the exact same injuries. “Who is it?”

“Natalie Carmichael,” Clara sighed before patting his shoulder and crossing to her office. Nicky had mentioned the possible charity event and now as one of the heads of the clinic Clara was trying to work with the university to get it set up.

Nicky allowed himself only a minute to compose his thoughts before stepping into the waiting room. Natalie Carmichael was more than just a repeat patient; with this visit she would officially make it onto their emergency watch list. She had come into the clinic so many times that they actually feared for her life at this point. If she came in again, Nicky would have to let Clara know so she could offer Natalie legal help. Still, Nicky allowed a soft smile to take over his expression as he stepped into the waiting room to retrieve her. “Natalie?” he called out, leading the woman over to a bed behind a privacy screen.

The woman sat on the medical bed gingerly, her face pulling into a wince any time she moved even the slightest bit. She refused to look up at Nicky, though from the half sliver of her face he could see she was feeling shame. It was pretty common to see, these people would blame themselves for being in these situations.

It reminded Nicky of his first life, even the years after his first death when he’d blamed himself for the way his father treated him. It had taken years and Joe’s gentle patience for him to realize the error in that way of thinking. Even now on his darkest days, the thoughts returned. It was tough to erase such negative thoughts when they had been ingrained in your mind for so long. Though rare now, there were some days Nicky couldn’t leave whatever safe house they were in, needing to be held by Joe and reminded that he deserved all the love and care he’d received over the years.

“Natalie, what happened?” he asked, putting his hands up to show her before gingerly reaching toward her face to take in the cuts and bruises there. Most of the people he saw at the clinic were jumpy, wary of his touch. Even though Nicky had been helping Natalie for months, she still would flinch if he wasn’t slow about his movements.

“I fell,” the woman answered automatically though he could tell in the way she said it that even she didn’t believe her words.

“I thought we trusted each other more than that,” Nicky reminded her lightly, wincing as Natalie finally looked up at him and he saw the full extent of her injuries. He saw these types of injuries every single day. In fact, when he was still doing missions with everyone, he saw much worse injuries. Yet, every time he saw one of the patients come in with these marks he couldn’t help but be surprised as he was reminded just how they got them.

“I thought I would try it. Old time’s sake, you know?” Natalie tried a small laugh though it quickly faded to a frown, “I’m going to leave him, you know.”

“I know,” Nicky assured her, beginning to first clean up and patch the injuries that he can see. He’s already nervous to lift up her shirt, knowing that’s likely where the worst of it is.

“How are you so sure? I’ve told you that the last three times I came here,” Natalie sighed, and a quick glance at her trembling expression let Nicky know she was close to tears.

“You will, because you are strong. It takes courage and strength to get help the way you have. I know, eventually, you will leave him and I’ll never see you in this clinic again,” Nicky explained simply. “I will miss talking to you, but one day you will never have to step foot in this clinic again and I will be so proud.”

“Thank you, Nicky, thank you.” He worked in silence for several minutes before she spoke up again. “D’you have any plans for the holidays?”

“The holidays?” Now Nicky could let out a real laugh, shaking his head at the woman. “It’s only October.”

“I know, but the holidays are my favorite time of the year. I get to go visit my family in Nebraska for a month.” The hidden implication that she got to spend a month away from her husband’s drinking problem hung thick in the air between them. “So, what are you doing for the holidays?”

“If you must know, my family is coming to visit,” Nicky answered with a gentle smile. Andy and Nile have spent the better part of a year traveling to so many places that he could hardly keep up. They spoke when they could, but he hadn’t seen them since they all decided Booker was exiled from the group for a century. It would be nice to see them again, to hear Andy talk about all of the festivals and landmarks they got to see that she had ignored for several millennia. Nicky’s heart ached at the thought that Andy was seeing the world with such ferocity because she now had a limited amount of time left, but at least she wasn’t holed up in a safe house like he and Joe had thought might happen.

“Ooh, from Italy?” Natalie asked excitedly. When Nicky had first started working at the clinic, it had been easier to tell everyone that he and Joe recently moved from Italy. It explained his accent, how sometimes when he was particularly stressed he would slip back into the language without realizing it, and made for a good cover story as hardly anyone here has actually visited the country before.

“Yes, I haven’t seen them since moving here. It’ll be nice to spend time with them.” Nicky sighed, tossing some of the bright red gauze into the hazard bin before giving Natalie a smile. “You’re all good to go then. Have a good holiday, I truly hope we don’t see each other here again.”

After that, the day passed quickly. Nicky had a couple more repeat patients though mostly the day was filled trying to tell new faces that it was possible for them to get out of their situation. By the time the sun was setting, Nicky was ready to get home to Joe. No matter how tough his day was, he could always count on Joe to lift his spirits.

Nicky always wished that he could do more for the patients he saw. He had considered donating to the clinic to keep them running for as long as possible, but that would defeat the purpose of trying to live normal lives and would bring too much dangerous attention to him and Joe. They both still bore the mental scars of what happened when the wrong people paid attention to them. He hadn’t missed the way Joe would startle from his sleep in the middle of the night or would cling to him a little more some days. Nicky still got texts or calls from Joe making sure he was okay and safe. It had almost been a year since the Merrick incident and still they were learning how to feel safe again.

By the time he got home, Joe was already back from campus and was pacing furiously around the house. A sigh slipped from Nicky as he realized this meant bad news. He tossed his coat onto the armchair as usual, leaving his shoes lined up by the front door. He intercepted his husband’s path quickly, wrapping his arms around Joe’s waist and pressing a kiss to his lips. “I take it she wasn’t back today?” Nicky asked in a low voice, chest aching as he watched Joe’s expression switch between worry and hurt.

“No, that makes it two weeks since she’s been in lecture,” Joe spoke quickly, each word strained with the fear held within them.

“College students miss lectures all the time, Joe,” Nicky tried then, desperate to find any way to console his husband. It wasn’t often that one of them formed a connection with another person who didn’t have their same regenerative abilities. They usually kept people at a respectable distance as that meant they could live longer in one area without people becoming suspicious of their lack of aging. Joe, though, has grown quite protective and fond of this girl since they got coffee together.

“Not her, Nicolo. I went back through past roll calls. She’s never once missed a lecture, now she’s missing for two weeks?” Joe tore himself from Nicky’s grasp then, running his fingers harshly through the dark curls on his head before going back to pacing around the room. “What if something happened to her? Sophia mentioned that her school and her family weren’t accepting of being different, what if someone hurt her?”

“You can’t worry about every person you meet,” Nicky tried again, reaching out to brush Joe’s arm before the man continued to walk around frantically. “She’ll show up.”

“I worry about this one. She has so much to say, I can’t bear the thought of someone silencing that.”

“If she’s not back within the week, take it to the head of your department. Perhaps they can have someone check on her,” Nicky offered before stepping into the kitchen to start on dinner. When Joe didn’t answer, he knew the other man would be considering his idea. At least it would put his mind at ease for the night. Eventually, Joe ended up leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, watching as Nicky put together a meal.

“It would be quicker if I could help,” Joe said and when Nicky whirled around to face him he saw a knowing smile plastered on his face.

Joe loved it when Nicky could help him make dinner, but Heaven forbid anyone step into the kitchen while Nicky was cooking. He had a particular way of doing things, passed down and learned over the years, and he would be damned if he let anyone change things up on him. “Don’t you dare,” Nicky warned, pointing the wooden spoon he had in hand at Joe. “You can help by standing over there and not coming any closer.”

“You mean, it wouldn’t be beneficial if I came over here...,” Joe spoke slowly, a teasing expression on his face as he took a few slow, careful steps into the room. Nicky could hear his shoes tap against the tile and he wondered just how fearful Joe was for that girl if he had forgotten to remove his shoes at the door. 

“Joe, don’t,” Nicky warned though a smile was already pulling at his lips, “I’m warning you.”

“Oh? But you’re just so tempting in those scrubs,” Joe groaned, quickly closing the distance so he could wrap his arms around Nicky’s waist, letting his hands fall distinctly on his ass.

“Now I know you’re a liar. No one is tempting in scrubs,” Nicky laughed against Joe’s lips as he leaned in for a kiss. “ _ Joseph _ ,” he groaned as he felt Joe squeeze, “I’m cooking.”

“I know. You spend all day taking care of others and then you come home and take such good care of me,  _ Habibi _ ,” Joe murmured before stepping forward to press Nicky’s backside against the counter, moving his lips over Nicky’s jaw, neck, then back up again.

“You are a menace,” Nicky breathed out, already knowing they’d be lucky if they had dinner that night.

“You love me for it.”

“You know I do.”

The risotto was overcooked that night, but neither of them noticed or cared.

* * *

It had already been a long day at the clinic when everything got so much worse. Though muscle strain didn’t often plague Nicky long enough to notice, his body was still able to tell him when he needed to take a break. The man had been treating patients since the day first began, and now he was one of the last nurses still at the clinic as it quickly approached time to close up for the night. The dark circles under his eyes had been growing worse as he spent longer hours at the clinic, but he couldn’t help it. What was the purpose of this if not to help people?

“Nicky, someone just came in. Can you handle this one?” Clara asked as she approached him, already looking nervous. “It’s a kid.”

Of course, Nicky understood her hesitation. Clara absolutely refused to treat child patients. She had three children of her own and could not even imagine anyone harming someone their age. The woman had been forced to treat one once and Nicky had seen the effects of it weighing on the woman for weeks. Since then, Nicky had promised to always handle those cases for her. They were always tough, tougher than most, but Nicky knew he could get through it.

The girl was standing in the waiting area, arms wrapped so tightly around her middle he knew it had to be hurting her. Her arms and hands were completely covered by her sleeves and her head was tilted down so her hair covered some of her face, but Nicky could see the blood from where he stood. A brief surge of anger flooded through him at the thought of a person who could do this to a girl who looked no older than sixteen. “You can come on back,” Nicky told her gently, watching as the girl eyed him up nervously, “I promise you’re safe here.”

Finally, the girl followed him back to one of the beds. It took her a bit to jump up to the bed, her shorter stature making it a bit more difficult. She followed his every movement as he grabbed gloves and some basic supplies, a wary look in her eyes. He held his hands up so she could see them, trying to make himself seem as non-threatening as possible. “I’m going to touch your face now, alright? I won’t hurt you, I just need to check for anything broken.” There was enough bruising around her upper cheeks to make him think her nose had gotten broken.

When she allowed him to press his hands gently against her face, feeling to make sure the bruising really was just bruising, Nicky sighed in relief. Children could be even more flighty than the adults sometimes. “Would you like to tell me what happened?”

“I fell,” the girl murmured quickly, voice dull and low.

Nicky looked at her sympathetically, making a low humming noise before he grabbed some gauze to gently clean up some of the blood on her face. “A lot of people fell before they came here. They keep falling, it seems.”

“I know what you’re doing, you’re trying to get me to trust you so I’ll tell you things,” the girl told him, and Nicky was glad to see a bit of fire still in the girl. It let him know that she would recover from this, she would be okay eventually. It also hinted at the fact that maybe this was a new situation for her to be in.

“Is it working?” he asked, letting a small smile lift his expression even when all he wanted to do was cry at the sight of her injuries.

“What kind of accent is that?” She asked instead. It was a common tactic people used in her situation: deflect the focus back onto him until she was comfortable. He would play along, if it made her feel better in the situation.

“Italian. I’m from Genova,” Nicky supplied. “Where are you from?”

“Chicago,” the girl answered easily. “Do you like it here or is it boring compared to Italy?”

“It’s different,” Nicky chuckled at her phrasing. He certainly did find himself missing being in Europe, though the US certainly did have its own unique charm. “It’s quite different, but no better or worse.”

“You’d make a good politician with that kind of answer.”

“You’d make a wonderful goalkeeper with all that deflecting,” Nicky shot back, laughing at the startled face the girl made. “What’s your name?”

“What’s yours?”

“Nicolo,” he answered, “Most people here call me Nicky though.”

“Okay, Nicky, did you watch the world cup last year?”

“Of course I did, what kind of Italian would I be if I didn’t?” Nicky scowled a little at the thought of the last cup though. “Regrettably, France won that one.”

The girl nodded, as if she had been testing him all along. He wouldn’t be surprised if she was. She moved her eyes over to look at the hand applying a butterfly bandage to her face, smiling at something there before she looked right back at Nicky. “You’re married? What’s she like? Is she Italian too?”

Nicky smiled at the thought of being able to talk about his Love. “ _ He _ is one of the kindest people you’ll ever meet.” He watched her expression warily for any signs of disapproval, but she surprised him by absolutely beaming in return. So much so, that he actually had to ask her to stop smiling so he could apply the bandages properly. “He lights up the room when he enters, people are immediately drawn to him.”

“What does he do?”

“He’s a professor, teaches literature and art. I believe he’s teaching Poetry Around the World right now.”

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. The girl’s face paled considerably and she literally began to shake. She batted his hand away lightly, scrambling to get off the bed. “I-I’m sorry, I have to go. I-I can’t,”

“What’s wrong? Please, stay. You’re really hurt and I can help you,” Nicky tried but nothing seemed to quell the panic suddenly overtaking the girl. Then, he realized the worst. She panicked when he mentioned Joe being a professor. Nicky sighed, closing his eyes for a moment as he thought of the best way to handle this situation. He had to wonder if Joe knew anything about this. “You’re one of Joe’s students, aren’t you?”

“Please don’t tell him,” the girl pleaded then, shaking so badly he thought she might pass out from the exertion, “Please, you can’t tell him I was here.”

“I won’t, I promise,” Nicky told her, “Just please, let me help you. You’ve heard of patient confidentiality, yes? I would never break that, not even for my husband. No one will know unless you are in immediate danger or you explicitly give permission.” That seemed to be enough, for the girl stood still, staring at her shoes as she seemed to consider his words. It apparently worked, because the girl sat back on the bed and allowed him to bring his hands back up to assess the gash that he was pretty sure he’d need to apply stitches to.

“You really won’t tell him?” the girl asked in a quiet voice.

“I promise you that I won’t tell Joe you were here.” The words already made Nicky’s heart ache. He hated lying or keeping anything from Joe, but he also had to respect his patient’s wishes. “Will you tell me your name?”

“Sophia, Sophia Moore,” the girl answered softly but the words seemed to swell and fill up the room. It made Nicky’s chest constrict, pulling the breath right out from his lungs.

“Oh,  _ cara _ ,” he spoke shakily once he finally could, feeling his expression pulling into something full of hurt. “He has been so worried about you.” How could Nicky return home and comfort Joe when he knew that the missing girl had to come to the clinic that day? Joe would be pacing around the house again, trying to come up with theories about where his missing student went. Nicky had always known Joe was great with kids, further reminding him that at one time Joe had had his own child. Joe wanted to be there for this girl, and instead Nicky was the one with the knowledge of what had happened to her.

“He has?” the girl, Sophia, asked with the same shaky tone as he, fingers picking at each other nervously. Her face held an expression of disbelief, as if it were truly that surprising someone could worry about her disappearance.

“Of course, he has,” Nicky reassured her, his hands pausing so he could focus on his words. “Joe’s taken a liking to you. He was so worried, apparently you don’t miss class often.”

“I never have before now,” Sophia admitted, letting her head drop so she could stare at her hands for a moment before meeting his gaze again.

“Do you want to tell me what happened to make you miss class? To bring you here?” Nicky tried once more, though he hoped she wouldn’t tell him if only so he wouldn’t have to lie about that to Joe too.

“Please don’t tell him I was here,” she repeated as though he might have forgotten his promise to her.

“I don’t break my promises, Sophia, I won’t tell him. Though, I think  _ you _ should tell him. He cares about you, he would want to know you’re okay.”

“No, I’m not going to. This was a one time thing,” Sophia promised, though Nicky didn’t tell her that he had heard that many times from his repeat patients. The man sighed, wrapping up the stitches and taking another glance around her to make sure he hadn’t missed anything that needed attention. Most of the rest of it were bruises, which unfortunately Nicky couldn’t do anything for.

She was standing up then, gingerly coaxing her arms into her coat. Just as she was about to leave, Nicky stopped her. “Wait. I don’t normally do this, but I’m going to give you my phone number. You can call me for emergencies,” he told her, scribbling it down on a random page before handing it to her. Sophia took the page carefully, cradling it between her fingers like it was something precious.

“You’re serious?”

“Yes. The clinic sometimes has weird hours because we’re all volunteers, and you just barely made it here before closing this time. If, if it’s not open and you need help, please call me. I’ll be there,” Nicky told her, suddenly not wanting to let this girl out of his sight when he knew her situation. If he was going to keep this from Joe, he was at least going to make sure this girl had  _ someone _ there to help her.

“Thank you, Nicky,” Sophia answered, giving him a smile as she continued, “You know, Joe said he was really lucky to have you. I think I agree with him.”

“I am grateful for every day I have with Joe.” Nicky couldn’t help the smile that overtook him at the thought of Joe talking about their love to other people. It wasn’t too long ago that they had to be secret about who they were in public. On missions he would have to pretend to be Andy’s husband rather than Joe’s, oftentimes. It was truly special, being able to be open about their relationship.

“Yeah, you two are kind of perfect for each other.”

“I agree.”

* * *

An hour later Nicky was laying on the couch with Joe, curled up against his side. He tucked his head into Joe’s neck, feeling no greater comfort than when he was safe with Joe like this. Guilt kept him from fully relaxing, however, having listened to Joe talk about how if Sophia didn’t show up to lecture tomorrow that he would be going to his head of department about it. Nicky knew he could have told Joe; that it would have put Joe’s worry at ease if only that he knew she was alive. Still, it would have been betraying Sophia’s thin trust to tell him, and if he ever wanted to ensure she got help when she needed it, then Nicky needed her to trust him.

“You seem distracted tonight, Nicolo,” Joe spoke up, running one hand softly through Nicky’s hair before pressing a kiss to his exposed temple. “Is something wrong?”

“I had a tough case at the clinic today,” Nicky admitted. He would tell Joe who it was, but it somehow felt better to get a little bit of it off his chest. “It reminded me of my father.”

It wasn’t too often that Nicky allowed himself to remember his family. After so many centuries, he couldn’t remember any of their faces and that thought hurt more than the actual memories sometimes. Nicky felt Joe squeeze him a little tighter, whispering something that bounced right past his ears. Nicky had at least 8 siblings that he could remember, most of which were brothers. He hadn’t been important to his father by any means, merely a replacement should anything happen to his other older, more accomplished sons. It had been all too easy for his father to cast him aside when it was convenient for him to do so, once they realized he had no intentions of taking a wife.

“You are more than what that man said you were,” Joe reassured him softly, eyebrows pressed together and eyes shining with hurt. Nicky knew that Joe hated when he thought ill of himself, though after so many years sometimes it still felt like he needed to be reminded to be proud of himself. They both had their days when the memories came flooding back suddenly, when the parallels were just a little too uncanny.

“I know, I promise,” Nicky answered back, “I hate... _ I hate _ that there are people who are still made to feel that way about themselves. I wish we could do more.”

“We’re doing what we can,” Joe told him then, and Nicky knew deep down that it was true but it was still tough to contend with the idea that what they  _ can  _ do is still not enough. “If the clinic is weighing on you too harshly, there is no shame in quitting. You can take a job at a hospital, where you can see other kinds of cases. You would still be helping people.”

“No,” Nicky refused quickly, shaking his head as a sudden panic welled up at the chance that he would lose this too. “No, I love this job. I have to stay at the clinic. There is nothing more rewarding than seeing the people I help get out of those situations, or knowing that I can be that person that offers them the first kindness they’ve felt in years. It’s just....sometimes it weighs on me when I know someone is going back to a place where they will get hurt. They’re getting hurt and I know about it, but I still am not doing anything.”

“You’re not doing nothing, Nicky,” Joe told him, sitting them up so he could look him in the eyes. Joe pressed a gentle hand against his cheek and Nicky had to close his eyes because it reminded him too much of the way his hand touched Sophia’s cheek to check for broken bones. “If they don’t want you to tell anyone, then you can’t. You’re helping these people by picking them up when they’re down, being that support. You show them that they are capable of being cared for. Oh, Nicolo,” Joe sighed, brushing away a tear as it slipped unbidden from Nicky’s eye. “Helping someone does not always mean getting them out of the situation. It’s showing them that they are worthy of leaving a painful situation, that they are worthy of being loved, and I know you do that every day for every person you meet.”

Nicky could only press his face back against Joe’s neck, hiding the tears he cried for all of the people he knew he would continue seeing in the clinic. People truly could be cruel to each other and he began to wonder if that was the nature of humanity.

* * *

Nicky hadn’t expected the call to come just a week later. He and Joe both had a day off and were currently curled up on the couch. A movie was playing on the TV but neither of them was watching it, too caught up in each other. Nicky had almost ignored the call, until he remembered the promise he had made to the teen just a week before. He scrambled to reach the phone sitting on the coffee table then. “Hello?” He asked tentatively when he answered a call from a number not in his contacts.

“Nicky?” a small, shaking voice asked.

“Yes, it’s me,” he reassured the girl he knew was on the other end of the line.

“I went to the clinic, but I...I couldn’t do it. I kept thinking about h-how I didn’t want anyone else to know and so I asked for you but you weren’t there and I-” Sophia rambled, sounding more panicked as she continued speaking. Right, of course. He should have thought of it before. It was a rather common reaction, for some patients to only trust the first nurse they visit at the clinic. Considering he was married to someone she already trusted, Nicky should have known she would only trust him.

“I’ll be there, I’ll be there in twenty minutes,” Nicky promised her before hanging up and hurrying from the couch. “There is an emergency at work,” he told Joe when the other man looked at him with worry in his gaze.

“No scrubs today?” Joe asked.

“No, no. I’ll be back soon, one of my patients just came back and they need me there for her. I’ll come back right after.”

“Okay, good luck,” Joe told him, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Nicky spoke softly before hurrying out the door.

When he got to the clinic, he found Sophia leaning against the front wall of the clinic, hood up over her head and arms clutching her middle again. “Sophia? I’m here,” he told her gently, resting a hand gently on the back of her shoulder as he guided her into the clinic.

“I’m sorry I bothered you on your day off,” she told him in return as she sat down on one of the beds. Nicky took the extra time to sanitize, knowing it would have been better if he’d been in his scrubs.

“No, don’t apologize. I gave you my number for these moments,” he reassured her. He took in her face then: the bruises from before were still mottling her face. They had faded from the deep purple and blacks to greens and yellows, letting him know they would fade from existence soon. There was some new bruising and blood on her face, but nothing that he couldn’t clean up quickly. Then, he looked down at where she had her arm wrapped tightly around her body. Nicky’s heart dropped as he could see the blood staining her shirt there. “Can I see?” he asked gently, pointing toward her shirt, “I want to make sure I don’t miss anything I can treat.”

Sophia nodded, taking a moment before pulling her shirt off. Nicky hadn’t felt that nauseous in years, since he had contracted the Spanish Flu after helping treat the pandemic patients back in the 1920s. He could see an almost perfect handprint painted in purple bruising across her left side, and a gash he knew would need stitches immediately as it still leaked red.

“Sophia, if this gets any worse you’re going to have to go to a hospital. There’s only so much we can do here,” Nicky told her as he immediately worked on that gash, pressing gauze against it to stop the bleeding.

“It won’t get worse,” Sophia spoke softly, moving her hands around as she clearly didn’t know what to do with them.

“I suppose falling can’t get much worse,” Nicky sighed, working gently to stitch up her side.

It was silent again as Nicky treated her, only broken when she let out soft noises of pain periodically. Then, as Nicky was cleaning up the used gauze, Sophia spoke. It was quiet, so quiet Nicky had to stop moving lest he misses it. “I told my parents that I like women after I wrote that poem for Joe’s class. I think it’s safe to say they didn’t take it well.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Nicky told her, knowing how much courage it took to admit it. He had learned by now that apologies typically didn’t help anything, but thanking someone for having the bravery to open up like that could do wonders for them. “Can I take you to lunch? You can get time out of the house, and if you need to talk about any of this you can.”

“Are you sure? I already bothered you once today.”

“Then what’s a little more?” Nicky shrugged, giving her a kind smile.

“Then yes please.”

They ended up at a little cafe, eating just outside the shop. Sophia had her jacket zipped all the way up to cover her red-stained shirt. She was just watching him as she ate, as though there was something she wanted to say but she needed the courage to do so.

“I know it’s cliche, but it’s okay to get help,” Nicky told her gently. “It does get better once you get out of that situation, but if it’s not safe for you, then there are ways to get out now.”

“Right,” Sophia answered, shrugging her shoulders once as if she had considered it already. “Joe told me something a few weeks ago.”

Nicky nodded, feeling as though he already knew where this was going. Joe had helped him deal with all of his struggles when they first realized they were meant for each other. Nicky had been raised being told his entire existence was a crime against God, against the church he spent nearly every day attending. It had taken years of love and acceptance for him to come to terms with it, to no longer feel guilty any time he held Joe.

“He said....he said your family wasn’t supportive either,” Sophia stated, raising her pitch at the end as though it were a question.

Nicky sighed a little, knowing that was where it was going but somehow still being caught off guard. “That’s true,” he admitted, trying to think of a way to explain how he related to her without revealing his age. It would do no good to make her suspicious of how long he and Joe were around, otherwise, they would just have to leave the city and she would truly be alone. “My parents had a traditional mindset. They wanted me to find a wife early on in life,” Nicky told her slowly, “My father caught me with a boy from school once and he didn’t take it well either.” He used her wording from earlier, hoping she would understand that he related very well to her.

It seemed Sophia did understand, because her eyes shone with unshed tears and her breath caught in her throat. “Did he...?”

Nicky nodded grimly then, “I nearly died that night. The next morning I was being sent off to become a priest. My family was quite proud of me once I took my vows. I stayed there for years until I met Joe and he taught me to accept who I was.”

It was silent then, Sophia looking down at her food as she took in that information. “Sometimes when she thinks I’m asleep, I can hear my mother praying for me. She prays for me to find my way back from the Devil.” Sophia gave a wet laugh then and if he didn’t think it would startle her more than comfort, Nicky would have given her a hug. “I always thought of the church as my second home, but now I can’t imagine going back there.”

“It’s impossible at first, trying to come to terms with it. You learn to find solace in the church, in God, and then they seemingly turn against you,” Nicky breathed, sorrow filling his chest as he realized just how much this girl’s situation mirrored his. “You will learn, though, you will find your own way.”

“Do you still believe?” Sophia asked, hesitantly as though she were scared of his answer.

“I have not been to a church in years, but sometimes I still find myself praying, yes,” Nicky told her. “My answer was not the church, but I can still rely on God for guidance, for comfort.”

“How do you get through it all? Knowing your family believes such terrible things about you?” Sophia asked, a desperate look in her eyes.

“It gets better with time,” Nicky told her, though he knew that she wouldn’t have the same amount of time that he had to come to terms with it. “They leave scars, but you will meet people in this world that will love you so wholly that the scars begin to dull.” He thought of how Joe accepted him even after all he had done in Jerusalem. He thought of Andy and Quynh, taking them in and protecting him and Joe like they were their children. Nile, who was so young but accepted that she had a new family without stumbling, immediately loving each and every one of them. Even Booker, who had always been distant but used to do anything to protect their family.

“I believe in you, Sophia. You will find those people and you will be so happy that you forget for a moment what it’s like to be so hurt,” Nicky told her, “And until then, Joe and I are both here for you, if you need anything.”

“Like my own fairy godfathers,” Sophia laughed, and even if Nicky didn’t understand the reference, he laughed too because he was so relieved that she understood they would be there. They would help her when she needed it until she was out of that situation. If they had lived this long for the sole purpose of helping others like them, then this would all be worth it.

They talked for a while longer until finally Nicky drove her back home, making her promise to call if she needed anything else and to never forget her courage. He held Joe closer than normal that night in bed, clinging to him much as he had in their first century together, as though Joe could be taken from him in an instant. Sometimes it did still feel like a dream, like he wasn’t worthy of all the love Joe had given him over time.

Nicky’s father had been a cruel man. He had been scared of what was different from him and he lashed out. He cast his own son aside as though he were nothing. The man had left deep scars on Nicky that burned any time they were touched long after the physical evidence was healed. How many times had he prayed, in those first years with Joe, for an answer to why his father failed to love him? He thought of Sophia then, who carried that same look of shame, guilt, and overwhelming hurt in her eyes as she pleaded for him to tell her how to get through this.

He wondered how, 900 years apart, their fathers had the same reaction to their love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italian translation:  
> cara - darling, often used toward children or young family members
> 
> descriptions of warnings:  
> implied/referenced abuse - nicky treats a woman at the abuse clinic with injuries with references to the fact that her husband hurt her. descriptions of bruises and cuts on sophia, and she mentions that her father was angry with her
> 
> implied/referenced homophobia - sophia mentions that her parents were not accepting of her being gay. nicky remembers his father sending him to the church because he was gay
> 
> discussions of religion - sophia talks about how her mother prays for her to not be gay anymore. her and nicky talk about wanting to believe in a religion but not feeling accepted at the church


	3. November 2019 - Joe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know this is early, but I have a lot of exams coming next week so I can't promise a consistent update schedule this week as I try to study for those. Because of that, I really would rather leave this here than at the last chapter. I want to thank everyone again for the response this has gotten, I really expected for like two people to read this tops, so thank you.
> 
> This is only going to be about 8 chapters or so, but I definitely want to do more with this world. I'm going to do little oneshots after this is done with little snippets that didn't end up in this. This fic was always meant to be more like snapshots in time after the initial setup of it all. So again, if I miss something that you'd like to see, let me know and I might write it later! That's also why I've added times to the chapter titles so the timeline would be a little more clear.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter:  
> implied/referenced abuse  
> implied/referenced homophobia - more discussions of unaccepting parents  
> a bit more religious talk, though nothing inherently negative  
> panic attack - though I tried not to be too descriptive
> 
> Again, I wanted to mention that if there is anything I haven't tagged that you feel might be triggering, please let me know. Also, while I have done my research, if anything is wrong or offensive in any way, please tell me and I will fix it.

After more than 900 years of knowing him, Joe prided himself on how well he understood Nicolo di Genova. There wasn’t much else that could shock him about the man, of that he was sure; or at least, that was what he tried telling himself as Nicky stumbled out of bed in the middle of the night for the third time that month, pulling on his coat and preparing to leave.

It was always an emergency at the clinic. The first time, Clara needed help getting supplies in when Nicky got a call at four in the morning. Then, right after dinner one night, one of Nicky’s patients came into the clinic and refused to see anyone but him. “What is it now?” Joe asked groggily. It had always taken him much longer to wake up than Nicky, part of the reason they had started sleeping in the position they had. It had taken Joe too long to admit that he also slept like that because it was a comfort to have the other man in his arms.

It’s not to say that Joe was annoyed. With the work that Nicky was doing, he understood when he needed to go to the clinic at strange hours. The clinic was run almost entirely by volunteers, so there were no set open and closing times. Joe understood Nicky’s desire to provide as much help as possible, they were similar in that regard. He knew that Nicky would want to spend as much time as possible at the clinic without alerting people to the fact that he didn’t get tired as easily. No, Joe was not angry that Nicky was beginning to spend nights at the clinic too. It was more that he was worried for him. 

After a millennium together, Joe could tell when Nicky was hiding something from him. His sea glass eyes would pull downward and away from Joe more often. Nicky would try to take care of him more often than usual. Lately, he had insisted on making dinner nearly every night, and despite spending all day at the clinic would clean the house before even taking his scrubs off. Joe knew all of his tells by now, even the fact that Nicky seemed to want to distract him with more sex from the fact that he was hiding something. Joe just didn’t understand what could possibly be going on and why Nicky felt the need to keep it from him. The pair kept a pretty hefty first aid kit in their house both to keep up appearances and just in case Andy got hurt when she inevitably came to visit. Over the past couple of weeks, however, the supplies in the kit had begun dwindling as Nicky tried to hide some in the pockets of his coat. If he truly was going into the clinic every time, wouldn’t they already have supplies there for him to use? Joe couldn’t help but imagine the kind of trouble Nicky could get into when he led with his truly kind heart. They both had the unfortunate habit of putting their own safety at risk in order to help others.

“A patient needs me. Go back to sleep, Joe,” Nicky answered softly, returning from the bathroom where Joe knew the first aid kit was.

He sighed then, shaking his head and pulling himself out of bed. “I’m coming with you.”

“No, no you don’t have to do that. You need rest before lecture tomorrow,” Nicky told him and if it wasn’t dark in the room Joe was sure he would have seen a panicked look to match the tone of his voice.

“What’s happening, Nicky? You can tell me anything, you know that,” Joe tried again, stepping forward to rest his hands against the other man’s hips. “Do you not trust me?”

“Of course I do, Joe. This is something I have to do alone,” Nicky told him, once again trying to take a step back, “It’s a patient, Joe, I promised I wouldn’t-” He cut himself off then as he realized his mistake in his sleep-ridden mind.

“You promised them you wouldn’t tell me,” Joe sighed, shaking his head. Of course, it made perfect sense in his mind. If that was what it took to get this person help, then of course he would have urged Nicky to do it.

“Come on, let’s go,” Nicky finally said, tossing Joe’s coat toward him with ease.

“I thought you said I couldn’t know.”

“It’s not my fault if you figure it out on your own,” Nicky answered simply, the pair of them making their way to the car. It was a short drive to the clinic, almost twenty minutes. In that time, Joe tried to think of who could possibly not want him specifically to not know they had an ass of a partner. He ran through all of his coworkers, anyone he ran into at art shows, or even past contacts. There was no one he could think of who fit the requirements.

Nicky was on edge as he drove. The man couldn’t sit still, constantly shifting his hands on the wheel and bouncing his leg. Clearly, he was nervous about spilling this secret, though if he was letting Joe figure it out then this was important. He knew if Nicky had really been keeping something this important from him for weeks then it was eating at him. It was likely a relief to him that Joe had insisted he go with him now. Suddenly the habitual avoidance of him made sense, though it didn’t make Joe feel any better about the situation.

When they pulled up to the clinic, Joe could see that all the lights were out. That also made sense, explaining why Nicky had to bring his own supplies with him as the clinic was already closed down for the night. A small figure was leaning against the front wall of the clinic, a dark sweatshirt and hood concealing most of their frame. The only people Joe interacted with enough for them to be worried about him knowing would be his students. His chest ached at the thought of any of his students being hurt by a partner the entire time he’d known them, but he couldn’t think of anyone that would fit the expected behavior. He ran through his classroom, trying to think of anyone there who might have had strange bruises or seemed more upset lately.

“Stay here,” Nicky told Joe gently before getting out of the car and heading quickly over to the person. Joe watched the pair from inside the car, only a streetlight illuminating portions of Nicky and the figure. He could pick out long brown hair from the hooded figure, leading him to believe this was a woman. Finally, after what felt like hours, Nicky turned to face him and waved him over. Joe tried to ignore the look of pure pain on Nicky’s face as he told himself it was likely that this other person was hurt, not his Nicky.

Joe wanted to pass out the moment he reached the pair on the sidewalk. Though it had been weeks since he’d seen her, he remembered this girl. “ _ Sophia, no _ ,” Joe’s voice cracked on her name as he brought a hand up to cover his mouth in shock, eyes filling with tears before he could stop them.

Frankly, she looked awful. There were bruises covering much of her exposed skin in varying states of healing and he could see blood sprouting from a cut on her temple. She looked up at him once before staring down at the ground, bringing her hands up so she could pull at her sleeves. “Sophia, you could have told me,” Joe forced out, voice thick with his tears. He tried to compose himself if only for her sake but he couldn’t help but think that this had been happening to his student for who-knows-how-long and he had done nothing to help her. A few weeks before, Joe had reached out to the head of the English department, but after a few days, she had assured him that Sophia was home and just not attending lecture.  _ Students can get lazy as the semester continues _ , the woman had told Joe. He had continued teaching his class not thinking much about the girl then, resigning himself to the fact that he just overestimated her drive. Clearly, Joe had known next to nothing about his student.

Hell, Nicky knew more about his student than he did.

“I didn’t want you to know,” Sophia answered softly, barely over a whisper.

“I could have helped you,” He almost pleaded with her, “How long has this been going on?” Joe wasn’t sure if he truly wanted to know that answer.

He watched as her expression broke then. Sophia’s lower lip began to tremble as she tried to compose herself. That composure cracked easily though, and she let out a harsh sob before she leaped forward to hug him tightly. His hands hovered uselessly in the air as he tried not to hurt her more than she already was. Eventually, Joe rested them lightly against her upper back, squeezing a little tighter as the girl let out another rough sob.

“I told them, Joe, I told my parents,” Sophia cried and Joe’s heart sunk deep in his chest. He hadn’t seen the girl since they got coffee and he gave her that advice. This was probably happening since then and she’d been avoiding his lecture since, avoiding  _ him _ . Did she blame him for giving her that advice?

“I’m so sorry, Sophia, you must believe me,” he cried alongside her, only looking away from her when Nicky wrapped his arm around his shoulders, squeezing once for comfort.

“What? It’s not your fault. I had to tell them, I did,” Sophia explained, trying her best to stifle her cries. “I couldn’t live like that before. Just like you said, I had to be honest about who I was. It just...it didn’t work out. I thought there was a chance that they would understand but I was wrong.”

“Sophia,” Joe tried again, looking at her and for once not having the words of comfort come to him. He was used to always having an answer, to knowing just the right words to say in every situation. Where Nicky used actions, Joe had always excelled with his words. All he could do was look at her, wondering what the right words were. There was nothing he could say that would make this okay. 

It was in moments like this that Joe was thankful for Nicky’s ability to keep a level-head in almost any situation. Joe tended to be expressive, allowing his emotions to guide him most of the time. “Sophia, do you want to go back to our house? You can get clean, I can take care of your injuries much easier, you can have a break from home. You can stay the night if you want, we have a guest room and Joe can take you to lecture tomorrow.”

The girl nodded her head and Nicky led her back to their car, helping her get into the backseat before the two men got back into their own seats. Nicky drove with one hand, the other held tightly in Joe’s. Joe kept glancing to the backseat at Sophia, wondering how anyone could intentionally hurt someone so young that badly. Nicky hadn’t even seemed too shocked, as though this was what she looked like every time. Joe let out a small noise of disgust at that, wishing that he could visit the two people who were hurting Sophia that badly and let them know how it felt.

While Nicky sat Sophia down at the dining table to address her injuries, Joe flew through the house trying to figure everything else out. It kept his mind occupied, trying to find a suitable change of clothes for the girl. Unfortunately, they didn’t have much that would fit her. He ended up finding some clothes; a pair of Nile’s old leggings with a tear in the ankle from when they were training with knives that they must have accidentally grabbed along with an old shirt of Nicky’s for her to sleep in. It wasn’t perfect, but it was something. Joe found a towel and set that on the guest room’s bed too, figuring the girl would probably want to shower to get the blood off. The thought alone made him stop moving as he was sure he would be sick. How had it gotten to this point?

It was just barely November. Joe had assigned that poetry assignment back in mid-September. That meant Sophia was suffering for nearly two months and Joe hadn’t noticed. He tried to bite back another sob, allowing himself a moment to collect his thoughts before heading back out into the main room. Sophia was young, still just a child, and she was hurting badly. She would need them to be figures of strength for her to lean on right now, Joe had no room for tears even when he felt like breaking down right there.

Nicky had already placed small bandages on the cuts on Sophia’s face and now had her shirt off and cast aside to deal with her other injuries. Joe looked away quickly, not wanting to make the girl uncomfortable, though he hadn’t missed the five-fingered bruises painting her sides. “It’s not perfect, but I found a change of clothes for you if you want. There’s a bathroom right next to the guest room if you want to shower. Use anything you want in there, please let us know if you need anything,” Joe spoke to the floor, trying not to sound as pained as he felt.

“Thank you,” Sophia answered softly, and not long after he heard sounds of a chair scooting back on the floor and then footsteps disappearing down the hall where Joe had gestured. He didn’t move, still staring down at the floor until he heard the shower running.

“Joe,” Nicky began and Joe could hear his footsteps as he walked near him. Still, he jumped as Nicky wrapped his arms around him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“I understand.” He did, really. It wasn’t Nicky’s secret to tell. “We can’t let her go back there.”

“We can’t force her to stay,” Nicky countered, and of course Joe knew that, he did, but how could they knowingly send her back to people who beat her that badly? “We can offer it to her, but Joe, she may not want to stay.”

“We’ll ask,” Joe just repeated, sure that it would work. It had to work because he couldn’t imagine the torture that would be dropping her back off at that house. “Two months,” he breathed, still caught up on how long it had been happening. “Two months and I didn’t see it.”

“There was no way for you to know, Joe,” Nicky tried again, resting his hand against Joe’s cheek and rubbing his thumb across the skin gently. “There was no way to know.”

The two of them settled on the couch, neither of them wanting to go to bed yet even though it was the middle of the night. They sat there, almost rigidly, waiting for Sophia to come back out. Sure enough, the girl did return, now dressed in the clothes Joe set out for her, arms wrapped tightly around her middle. Nicky’s shirt seemed to swallow her up, dipping down to just below her knees and sleeves hanging loosely over her shoulders. She looked even more like a child then, and Joe was painfully reminded of how early in life she was experiencing this pain. “Thank you, guys,” she spoke up again, standing at the edge of the room as if she wasn’t sure if she belonged there.

“Sophia, can we...can we ask you something?” Joe finally tried, waving her over so she could sit in the armchair by the couch. When she nodded, he sighed and tried to come up with the right way to suggest it. “Your family...do you see this getting any better?”

She was quiet for a long moment before she shrugged, her expression unreadable. “Honestly? I think it’s getting worse.” Nicky nodded his agreement next to him, the only sign all night that Nicky had been surprised by how badly she was hurt this time. “But it’ll be fine. I have a few more months until I graduate and I have a plan.”

Joe glanced to Nicky, raising one eyebrow as though to ask if he had known about a plan.

“What’s your plan?” Joe asked, knowing they would do whatever it took to help her.

“I...” Sophia stopped herself, reforming the words in her mouth a few times before admitting, “My dad threatened to...I can’t go back there. I packed a bag, and I found a shelter a few hours away by bus. I have a plan.”

Joe was sure a look of absolute horror had overtaken his face. That was her plan, to go live in a shelter while she finished high school? Sophia truly felt as though there was no one else she could turn to, so she would try to live on her own so soon?

“You can’t do that,” Joe blurted out before he could think about it. “We were thinking about it. We have the guest room, and...,” For once in his life, Joe was absolutely speechless. How could he possibly ask this?

It was Nicky who picked up where he left off. “What Joe is trying to say, is that you’re welcome to stay here if you want. It would be safe here. We would help you in whatever way we could. You wouldn’t have to get hurt again.”

Sophia was absolutely silent. The silence lasted forever, making Joe hold his breath as he watched as she sat almost unresponsive. He was about to speak up and say it wasn’t anything to feel pressured about until she smiled a little and said, “If this is some long-drawn-out plan to murder me, I’m impressed.”

Nicky looked bewildered, but Joe laughed. It wasn’t even that funny, but just the evidence that Sophia hadn’t truly lost herself made him laugh hysterically until his sides hurt. Sophia laughed with him too, and Nicky smiled and shook his head at the pair of them, clearly confused but amused nonetheless.

“You mean it though?” Sophia asked softly once the laughter died down.

“Of course we do,” Joe answered back quickly. “We can’t replace what your parents are to you, but we can give you a safe home.”

Sophia’s lip trembled again though this time as she let out a cry a smile joined it. She hugged him tightly and Joe felt a wet spot on the shoulder of his shirt where her tears collected but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “Thank you, thank you so much.”

“Then that settles it. Welcome home, Sophia.”

* * *

“It still doesn’t feel real,” Sophia admitted from beside Joe. The pair were walking back from campus after lecture. The campus wasn’t far from their home and Nicky needed the car to get to the clinic. It still was strange to think of it that way,  _ their _ home. That morning, he and Nicky had nearly forgotten that they’d taken an actual child in. Granted, she was seventeen and mostly independent, but the idea was there.

“I know what you mean,” Joe returned, smiling over at her gently. “It’ll feel more real once we can go shopping for you.”

“Shopping?” Sophia asked curiously, almost sounding worried about it.

“To decorate your room,” Joe answered simply, shrugging his shoulders and nearly missing when the girl stopped walking in her surprise.

“I, what? No, you guys don’t have to do that for me,” Sophia returned quickly, waving her hands a little to emphasize her point. “Seriously, the room is already decorated.”

“It looks like someone’s guest bedroom,” Joe told her, “You’re still a teenager. You don’t have to pretend to be older and more independent than you are. We may not be your parents but we still want to make you happy.”

“See, you say things like that and now  _ I know _ you’re not my parents,” Sophia laughed, shaking her head and giving Joe a small side hug before continuing on. “C’mon, Nicky said he’s making pasta from scratch tonight and I  _ have _ to learn how to make it.”

“Good luck getting him to teach you,” Joe called out as she nearly sprinted ahead of him, laughing as he caught up with her. “No one is allowed in the kitchen while he cooks.”

“Well, I’ll be an exception.” Joe shook his head, thinking to himself that it would be quite the miracle if there was an exception to that rule. Even Nile with all of her charm hadn’t been able to get Nicky to change his ways. He couldn’t help but think that Nile would adore Sophia if they ever got the chance to meet. 

It was the day after they took her in and honestly it hadn’t truly sunk in yet. Sophia was going to be around for all of their little moments now. Dinner together now also included her, the nights where they sat around either grading papers or going through budget proposals would also include Sophia doing her homework. There was still a lot to get done to get her set up there, but she seemed ready to take it on. He made a mental note to take Sophia clothes shopping that weekend too. She had brought a spare pair of jeans with her in her backpack, but she still wore Nicky’s old t-shirt, tied at her hip so it didn’t hang off of her.

Joe was terrified of messing this up. Granted, the hardest part in taking care of her was already done. Sophia was almost an adult and yet he knew there would be so much that she would rely on them for. She would likely want to go to university full-time next year. There would be apartment shopping eventually, making sure she’s actually studying, and what if she came to them for dating advice? It wasn’t like he and Nicky had ever actually dated anyone in their lives. Joe had gone through the courting process a handful of centuries ago, but other than that the only experience they had was sticking with each other because they were the only two people in existence (or so they thought at the time) who were incapable of staying dead. Then a worse thought sprung to mind before he could stop it. What if, despite all of their best efforts, she doesn’t end up happy there?

Stepping into the house was like flipping a switch. Sophia’s body language instantly shifted, her shoulders curving in slightly and her hands coming up to pick at each other. Though her expression didn’t change, it almost froze as she grew far too stiff to be comfortable there. The change reminded Joe plainly that this girl was a victim and regardless of how good their intentions were, it would take time for her to trust them fully. Sophia was used to having to put her guard up at home, and it would take a while for her to get out of that habit.

“I’m going to get some grading done. You’re welcome to join me, but you don’t have to,” Joe told her before heading to the dining table and sitting down, pulling his computer out of his bag to begin looking through assignments. He hadn’t wanted to leave her alone, but he wanted her to know that she still had control, that she could make decisions without there being horrible consequences.

He nearly grinned when, a few minutes later, Sophia was sitting down across from him and pulling a math textbook out along with a notebook. “Is that university work?” he asked curiously just as she picked up her pencil to begin working on problems.

“High school,” Sophia answered softly and he thought that might have been all she had to say as she stopped for a long moment. “I still go to high school two days a week, college three days a week.”

“How do you get there?” Joe asked curiously then, wondering if her parents had always driven her or if there was a bus.

“Um, well before, my Mom would drive me, but I’ve been walking. It took like an hour from there, so probably about the same from here,” she admitted, looking back down at her book then.

“Nicky will take you then, on his way to the clinic.”

Sophia looked up then, watching him and looking for something in his expression. Joe wasn’t sure what she was looking for, but finally, she said, “It won’t be on the way to the clinic.”

“He’ll make it be on the way,” Joe told her softly, “You shouldn’t have to walk that far for school.”

They didn’t speak again for a while. Joe tried to work on getting the small assignments done, but he found himself checking on Sophia often. He would glance up from his computer screen to see her still working hard on her math homework, the eraser of her pencil resting on her lower lip and her eyebrows scrunched tight as she considered each problem. She would shift in her seat a lot, letting out small noises of pain when her still new injuries were irritated. He wanted to say something, anything that would somehow take away all of her hurt but there just wasn’t anything there.

Joe was thankful when Nicky came back home, going through his routine of tossing his jacket somewhere in the room and leaving his shoes lined up perfectly by the door. “How was class?” Nicky asked the room as he entered, standing just behind where Joe sat. He leaned into Nicky’s touch on his shoulder, leaning back to rest his head against the other man’s middle.

“It was good. Almost full attendance, I think they’re getting nervous about the final,” Joe answered, chuckling as Sophia’s head snapped up to look at him at the mention of the final. “It’ll be easy. The head of the department demands every course has a final exam, but all I care about is the term paper,” Joe assured her. Sophia nodded but didn’t say anything else to it.

“I’m going to start on dinner,” Nicky told Joe, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before he slipped into the kitchen. Joe turned back to his computer but he could hear his husband shuffling about in the kitchen, gathering the supplies he needed. When he looked at Sophia, she was completely distracted from her homework, instead twisted in her seat (and Joe couldn’t imagine the pain that gave her) to watch Nicky cook through the doorway. He could only see half of her face, but she was making the same face that she did in lecture when Joe was making a particularly interesting point, as though she was amazed at the information, as though she wanted to learn everything there was to know all at once. It reminded Joe of the first time he took Nicky to a library. 

It hadn’t been long after their first deaths as they were just coming to an uneasy truce with one another. They trusted each other enough to take turns keeping watch and though they’d begun to speak to one another without hate in their voices, there was still tension deep within the both of them. One night, Nicolo had mentioned that he had learned to read as a priest, studying only religious texts in Latin. They had never even taught him to read in his first language. As the son of a merchant and later a merchant himself, Joe had learned from a young age to read, write, and speak in a multitude of languages. He had forgotten that others weren’t afforded the same luxuries.

The next day they traveled into town where Joe practically shoved Nicolo into the library. They hadn’t had any texts in Zeneize at the time, but simply the sight of so many texts had stunned Nicolo. The other man had explained that it was still expensive to print books in Europe, so there was nothing like what they had here. They spent much of their time in that library, Nicolo soaking in as much information as he could and Joe teaching it to him when he could. They had bonded over that information, over literature and poetry. Joe hadn’t thought he would meet another person so in love with learning, but he saw that same expression a millennia later in this girl.

Nicky must have recognized it, too, for he turned and smiled softly at her. It reminded Joe of the smile his own father had given him when he did something particularly thoughtful, as though he couldn’t quite believe that this child existed. “Would you like to help me?” he asked the girl.

Sophia seemed stunned at the question. Her head jerked back a little, and she even turned to look at Joe as if to check that Nicky hadn’t meant him instead. When Joe only smiled back at her, Sophia nodded hesitantly. “Could I?” Her voice was still small, unsure, but there was a lightness to it that Joe hadn’t heard since stepping into the house.

“Of course,” Nicky assured her. “Have you cooked before?”

“I’ve tried a few times,” Sophia admitted, shrugging her shoulders a little and pointing to the little mound of flour on the counter, “I’ve never done this before. If I make pasta, it’s always from a box.”

A laugh sounded from Nicky then, and Joe couldn’t help but abandon his work and lean in the doorway, watching them. “It is worth the extra effort, I promise you,” Nicky told her before moving on to talk her through the process, at first demonstrating and then allowing her to try it.

“Can I help?” Joe asked, a teasing smile already taking over his expression as he knew Nicky’s answer already.

“Absolutely not,” Nicky decided, laughing at the expression on Joe’s face. “These meals are meant to be passed down to youth, and you are an old man. Besides,” he looked to Sophia who was now watching him carefully, almost stunned still, “I have faith in her. Even if she does make pasta from a box.”

“What if I said I also used sauce from a jar?” Nicky made a small noise of surprise as if he hadn’t even considered that to be an option. It made Sophia’s face brighten, and then an equally bright laugh slipped from her. It made Joe grin as he met his husband’s gaze, a renewed hope building up in him that yes, maybe they could help her heal from this after all. Perhaps even, she would help them heal from multiple lifetimes' worth of hurt. It had felt like years since he had laughed and smiled this much.

That wasn’t to say they hadn’t enjoyed their time with their immortal family. On the contrary, Joe still found himself turning to crack a joke to Andy or Booker even now as though they just  _ had _ to be there. Joe loved their little ragtag family, but their lives had started to stagnate after centuries of living together. Sophia and the innocence she brought with her seemed to be just what he and Nicky needed. After Merrick, the pair had struggled to sleep in the house with the others. Booker’s betrayal made Joe realize just how powerful they all were, how they trusted each other so much that it really was easy for one person to betray them. They had needed time away to figure out how to trust again, and maybe they would learn with Sophia.

It was a moment of peace, watching Nicky’s careful hands and gentle words guide Sophia in making the meal. Joe was able to watch as she became more comfortable in that room; as her shoulders lowered and her hands stopped shaking between every step, how she was able to meet Nicky’s gaze more often and seemed more sure of herself. Joe knew that by no means was she perfectly healed, but it was a moment in time where everything was okay. He always marveled at how well Nicky was able to bring the best out of people with his gentle kindness and open heart. Nicky was patient and always seemed to know just what people needed.

Just as they were sitting down to eat, that nervousness began to bleed back into Sophia. “What’s wrong?” Joe asked quickly, wanting to take note of whatever had made her so nervous so they could correct it.

“Nothing, really, I...,” Sophia paused, glancing once to Nicky as if looking for permission before she asked, “Would you guys be upset if I prayed before eating? I just, I always did it at home and-”

“We would never force you to stop doing that,” Joe told her, setting his own fork down quickly. He wouldn’t join her in it, but he would wait. “Take your time.”

“I just, I didn’t want to make either of you uncomfortable.”

“We would never stop you from practicing, Sophia,” Nicky spoke then, “We understand how important it can be, so please, do what brings you peace.”

That seemed to be enough of permission for her. Sophia watched Nicky’s expression as if checking for a catch somewhere, before nodding and bringing her hands together. She didn’t speak aloud as Joe was sure she wanted to, but he did see her mouth moving to form the words silently. 

It seemed too long ago that he and Nicky had been as steadfast as she about their own beliefs, but they weren’t gone, not totally. Joe still had his prayer mat and though he didn’t use it as often as he should, it brought him peace in especially troubled times. Even rarer did he hear Nicky murmuring Latin phrases repeatedly. It was usually after a troubling mission or after something brought up a painful memory for him, at night when he thought everyone else would still be asleep. Joe had thought of bringing it up to him, but even after 900 years, it felt too personal, as though he would be intruding upon a moment Nicky wanted for himself.

“Thank you,” Sophia told them just a moment later, nodding as if to tell them she was finished.

Joe was the first to break the moment to eat. He and Nicky had only gotten better at cooking through the years, and it was apparent in the dish. It was a huge turning point when stoves became common enough for them to have one in most of their safe houses. Andy hadn’t taken to them quite as well as the others had, considering just how long she had lived without one. This left Nicky and Joe to do most of the cooking, as even Booker hadn’t known much about making food when he’d joined them.

“How did you two meet?” Sophia asked in the middle of the meal, making Joe look right at Nicky. They should have thought of an answer to that sooner, but in truth, Joe hadn’t expected anyone to ask them that. He hated to lie to the girl when they were trying to build her trust, but there was absolutely no way they could tell her the real answer.

“We met in Jerusalem,” Joe started, knowing his expression likely matched the knowing look on Nicky’s face. “I was on a business trip. We continued to run into each other, eventually, we realized what we had in common.”

“A business trip? Since when do professors go on business trips?” Sophia called him out, and Joe had to notice that this was the most relaxed he’s seen her likely ever. It makes him want to keep the conversation going even if it was quickly heading in a dangerous direction for him and Nicky.

“This was many years ago. So long ago we were practically children,” Nicky explained for him, “Joe was learning his father’s trade. I was on a trip with the Church.”

“That’s really lucky you kept running into each other then,” Sophia said, “Almost like fate or something.”

“That’s what I keep telling him,” Nicky returned, not taking his eyes off of Joe. It always took his breath away when Nicky looked at him like that, like Joe was the one who hung the sun and all the stars up in the sky. 

Dinner was going really well. It gave Joe so much hope for the future; that maybe Sophia would enjoy an easy time there with them before she became an adult and could go off on her own. Of course, nothing ever happened that easily or quickly, and things came to a head as the trio was clearing the table.

Joe was standing at the kitchen sink, starting to wash some of the dishes from dinner. That was when he heard a crash, an “It’s okay, it was an accident,” from Nicky, and repeated apologies from Sophia. Her voice was shaky as she spoke quickly and so quietly Joe could hardly hear it from the kitchen. Still, he could tell that she sounded  _ terrified _ . He didn’t have to wonder what she thought would happen then.

He rushed from the kitchen to the dining area where he found Sophia on her knees desperately trying to scrape up the broken pieces of a plate, Nicky in front of her and desperately trying to get her to stop. “It’s okay, Sophia, it’s okay. Please, you’re going to hurt yourself,” Nicky was trying, though every time his hands reached out for hers she just yelped, flinched, then continued trying to pick up the mess.

“I’m so sorry,” Sophia cried as she looked up to see Joe standing there. Tears were filling her eyes and slipping down her face, and her cries grew more panicked as Joe could hear her breaths getting quicker and shallower. “I’ll fix it, I-”

“Sophia, Sophia please listen to me, okay?” Joe asked her gently, kneeling down in front of her and putting his hands up so she would understand, “I won’t touch you, I promise, but can you copy what I’m doing?”

Joe moved one hand to rest against his chest, where he could feel the quickened thrum of his heart. It took a moment, but Sophia did the same, her fingers digging tightly into the fabric of her shirt. “Good, that was great, Sophia. Okay, try to take a deep breath in with me, yeah?” After a few minutes of this, Sophia’s breathing had returned to something closer to normal and she wasn’t sobbing. It was quiet other than the occasional sniffles from her. This was an exercise he could remember using with his younger sister all those years ago when she would go into her fits as they called them then. Joe had also done this with Nicky early on when the other man was in the throes of intense guilt over being with him.

“This was an accident, Sophia, neither of us would get angry at you for something like that,” Joe told her, trying to keep his voice calm despite how worried for her he was. How could anyone hurt someone so badly that they had a panic attack over dropping a plate?

“I know, I-I know that I just...” Sophia hung her head low, watching her fingers pick at themselves. Joe looked to Nicky then, knowing that while he was able to get her out of her panic attack, Nicky would be better at this. He likely understood what was running through her head at that moment.

“It takes time to get out of that mindset they put you in,” Nicky tried to explain for her, and when Sophia nodded he sighed, “We said we would help you, and we meant that, Sophia. A plate dropping won’t change that.”

“I don’t want you guys to have to deal with this every time I’m reminded of them.”

“We do,” Nicky answered, making Sophia look up at him and that vulnerable look in her eyes reminded Joe of just how young she was. This girl was an innocent, the type of person they were given immortality to protect. “We want to be there for you. It won’t be easy for any of us at the start, but we’ll all learn and heal together. I promise you, Sophia, this does get better.”

“How do you know?” Sophia suddenly asked, the tears welling up again as she dropped her hands against her knees as though she didn’t have the energy to hold them up anymore. “I lost everything when I came out,  _ everything _ . My parents won’t talk to me, they won’t let my brothers talk to me. So many of my friends stopped talking to me because they were scared I’d come onto them. I don’t see how any of this could get better. You keep saying it will, to just hope and wait for it, but I can’t even imagine it. I just keep thinking that maybe this is it, maybe I’m just supposed to hurt for the rest of my life.”

“Okay, if you can’t imagine it, then we’ll try for you,” Joe suggested, sitting down more comfortably on the ground when he realized they’d be there for a while longer. “It will seem like an empty sort of thing now compared to what you had, but you’ll get your room here. You’ll go to school and then you’ll come home and work on homework at the table while I do my lesson plans for next semester. Nicky will come home from work and we’ll all make dinner and sit together to talk about our days. It will feel empty at first but you’ll find your place here, a home here.”

“Then you’ll graduate from high school,” Nicky supplied next, also settling on the hardwood floor, “You’ll want to cry because your parents aren’t there, but when you look up at where they should be we will be there. It won’t be the same, but we will clap and cheer for you and it will be enough in the moment. Then you’ll go to university, and we’ll help you move in. Joe will be overprotective, asking you a million times if you’re sure you have everything you need. It will be lonely at first but you will thrive there. You will meet your roommate, and you will meet friends who will stick with you no matter what. You’ll meet so many fantastic people that you forget the friends who left you now.”

“You’ll move into your first apartment and you’ll remember all of the meals you learned to make here. You will know by then that you can call us for anything, even if it’s two in the morning and you don’t know how to start the washer. You’ll eventually meet a woman who looks at you like you are the stars in the sky, like you are everything to her. It will be an easy decision to marry her. For the first time in years, you’ll think of your parents then, and feel sad that they won’t be there but we will, and your friends will, and most importantly _ she _ will be there. That day, you will only have eyes for her, she who returns the pieces of you that you thought you’d never get back,” Joe explained, watching as Sophia’s expression turns from sad disbelief to something bordering on hopeful. A smile pulls at her lips from the image of a happy future and Joe can’t help but return the gesture. “You will feel unbelievably sad and alone at first, but there are people out in the world right now that will fill in the gaps. Eventually, you will be able to look back on what happened this year and not feel so...”

“Broken,” Sophia finished, “I won’t feel so damaged.”

“Exactly,” Joe agreed, reaching out to wrap his arm around her shoulders. She leaned in then, resting her head against his shoulder. Sophia reached one hand out and Nicky took it in his gently. “You’re not alone in this, not anymore.” 

Joe didn’t know how long they all sat there around the broken remains of a plate, but it felt for the first time like perhaps they really could be a family. As messed up and twisted as their stories all were, they all had found a home together.


	4. December 2019 - Nicky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, I'm back! you may have noticed that the chapter count increased again. I wrote this chapter and had to do a lot of work with it because it ended up being 24k words. so, I split it into a couple of chapters and took out one scene with Andy and Sophia bonding to put in a one-shot later because it just didn't quite fit in here.
> 
> anyway, there are some warnings for this chapter. they are as follows:  
> descriptions of abuse  
> homophobia - including one slur  
> mentions of police and racial bias
> 
> as always, if I need to tag anything else then let me know.

The trio found a routine that worked for them.

They had only lived together for about a month, but now Nicky can’t imagine a time in this house before Sophia. She fit so well into their home that sometimes he wondered if she was meant to be there all along. Twice a week Nicky would drive her to high school and take a break from the clinic to pick her up when it was done. Sometimes they would go grab coffee or a quick snack and Nicky loved the time he had to get to know her better. The other days, she would walk with Joe to campus, either studying in his office or at the library until her lectures. Every evening, Nicky would come home to the pair of them either sitting at the table working or making dinner together.

Nicky could see the careful progress Sophia had made. With every passing day, she was getting more relaxed in the house. She wouldn’t flinch every time one of them moved too quickly in her direction, and she was much more willing to show off her personality around them. Of course, recovery was not a linear process and they’d had plenty of bad days but Nicky always tried to take them in stride. He would continue to have nightmares over the devastated look on Joe’s expression one day after the other man grabbed Sophia’s wrist and she’d flinched away so badly she’d fallen over.

Sophia had a lot of nightmares too. More nights than not, she would wake up nearly howling. Sometimes she allowed one of them in her room to hold her tight or sit on the opposite side of the room and remind her that she was safe there. Other nights were worse, and she would lock the door when she heard their footsteps and they all would sit on opposite sides of the door in complete silence until she whispered goodnight and a thank you through the door and climbed back into bed.

_ Today must be a good day _ , Nicky thought as he got up to the front door and heard laughter sound from inside the house. A smile worked its way onto his face as he opened the door, hearing Joe nearly cackling in a way that Nicky didn’t get to hear very often. While Joe didn’t have any problems expressing his joy, there was always some level of weight as though he knew he was laughing in spite of the problems he was shouldering. This laughter, though, was completely weightless and free. Nicky rushed to toss his coat and shoes aside, hurrying to the dining area where he found the scene.

The pair were sitting at the table as always, various papers and books, laptops and pencils scattered about and so intermixed Nicky wondered how they got anything done. Joe was leaning back in his chair, one hand over his chest and head tilted back as he let out that bright laugh, nearly wheezing with how long he was laughing. Sophia was across from him, arms folded on the table and her head buried within them.

“What’s happening?” Nicky asked, looking quickly between Joe and Sophia and wondering just what sparked such different reactions from them. Though Nicky cared for Sophia, over the month she’d been there she had absolutely bonded closer with Joe. More often than not, she would look to Joe for reassurance, for comfort and guidance. They understood each other in ways that Nicky couldn’t, and that was okay. It also meant that those two could be quite the pair and he was sure if circumstances were different, they’d be trouble. This wasn’t the first time Nicky found himself wishing that Sophia was immortal like them, if only to see what kind of trouble she and Joe could get themselves into.

“ _ Your husband _ is torturing me!” Sophia groaned, finally picking her head up from the table and sending a playful glare toward the professor. Nicky could see a notebook was trapped underneath her arms and though he wouldn’t point it out, there was a bit of pale black ink staining her one cheek.

“This one saved her term paper until three days before it’s due,” Joe laughed, eyes crinkled and shining as he looked up at Nicky. He was fairly certain that look would never fail to steal his breath away. The first time he had seen such a look of pure pride and amusement was when Nicky had finally made enough progress in his Arabic to go to the market on his own and surprise him with a meal. The next was when Nile had single-handedly saved all of them from Merrick when they had each failed.

“It’s not my fault! You just assigned this in September,” Sophia argued, pointing at him as if this was a solid point.

“That was three months ago.”

“Still! And why can’t you just give me a hint? I have no idea what this poem’s supposed to mean,” she groaned, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Your classmates can’t ask me for hints over dinner so neither can you,” Joe laughed, shaking his head and looking to Nicky as if to ask,  _ ‘can you believe this?’ _

“Ugh, this is so unfair!”

“Come to office hours.”

“Why should I have to when you can tell me the same thing right now.” Sophia shook her head, pouting a little before adding, “When I fail this course and have to drop out to become a stripper, it’ll be your fault somehow.”

“And I will be proud of you for succeeding as a stripper, because you will have done it without extra favors,” Joe answered.

“You make it really hard to be mad at you.”

“It takes practice.”

Nicky couldn’t help but chuckle at their interaction before stepping around the table to stand behind Sophia. “May I look? Perhaps I can help.” He leaned over her shoulder to read the poem carefully from her laptop screen. It took a couple of times through, but suddenly Nicky smiled as an idea came to mind. “Why don’t you write about family? Love doesn’t have to be romantic.”

“You just gave me a great idea!” Sophia shrieked in his ear, causing Nicky to wince a little as he stepped back. “Thanks so much, I knew you were my favorite.”

“I’m wounded,” Joe called from across the table, clutching his chest with a clearly fake look of hurt.

“Don’t assign me complicated poems and maybe you’ll be the favorite.”

* * *

That weekend, Nicky rushed to get out of the clinic early for the first time since starting there a year before. It had been over a year since they’d last seen Andy and Nile, but now the women were finally coming to stay with them. The pair would be staying with them through New Year’s. It was both exciting and nerve-wracking to have the two halves of their lives collide so suddenly. They had prepared Sophia for the fact that two strangers would be living with her for a couple of weeks, but neither of them had the strength to warn Andy and Nile.

Nicky knew the right thing would have been to tell them. Still, even the thought of telling Andy that he and Joe had taken in a completely normal child made his heart race. They all knew by now the dangers of getting close to regular humans. Humans could be cruel in their fear of aging and death, something they were harshly reminded of during the Merrick incident. It was clear that Sophia was a part of the family now. He and Joe had promised to be there for her always, meaning that at some point she would notice that they didn’t get older. At some point--a thought that pained Nicky even now--she would grow older than them. They would outlive her and she would catch on sooner than they would like, considering how clever she was. They would reach a point in which the truth would have to come out, and Nicky just had to hope that Sophia would take it well. He shuddered at the thought of her taking it as Booker’s sons had, cursing them for not sharing their secret. If he had the power to give some of his immortality to her, Nicky would in a heartbeat. He couldn’t stand the thought that she would have to spend so much of her already limited life dealing with the trauma her parents caused her.

When Nicky got back from the clinic early that afternoon, he could hear Nile’s familiar voice talking in the dining area. From the slightly unsure tone threaded in it, he knew that she was speaking to Sophia. Andy was standing in the living room, expression nearly unreadable despite how many years they’d spent together. Nicky had half-expected her to look older than the last time he’d seen her, but if anything she looked younger, lighter.

“There’s a child in your dining room,” Andy stated, lifting her hand just to waist-height to point in that direction.

“Where’s Joe?” he asked instead of explaining anything, stepping forward to wrap his arms tightly around the woman.

“The  _ child _ said he was grocery shopping.”

“She has a name,” Nicky returned, chuckling. Who knew it would only take a seventeen-year-old girl to shake up Andy?

“And you better have an explanation.” Andy’s voice sounded tight, rough, but Nicky knew better than to think she was angry. If anything, she would be worried for Nicky and Joe. Finally, she allowed herself a smile as she took in Nicky’s face. “It’s good to see you.”

“You look good, Boss,” Nicky told her honestly, “Nile must be keeping you on your toes.”

“She’s a good one,” Andy explained, “It feels like the beginning again, exploring the world like this.”  _ It feels like the years spent with Quynh _ , was left unspoken between them.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you two,” Nicky told Andy with a nod of his head in the direction of the dining room. When he entered, he could see Sophia sitting at the table with her laptop opened but clearly abandoned in front of her. She had wide eyes, as though trying to take in everything Nile was saying from where she sat across from her.

“Nicky!” Nile exclaimed as Sophia shifted her gaze over the woman’s shoulder to look at him. “I missed you,” she told him as they hugged. The pair hadn’t spent that much time together before splitting after Merrick, but Nicky found that he had missed her presence too. She brought something new and great to the team.

“I missed you too,” he answered, shifting to allow Andy to enter the room too. “This is Sophia, she came to stay with us a month ago,” he explained before looking at the girl, “And Sophia, this is Andy and Nile. They’re friends of Joe and I, practically family. You can trust them.” It had been something he and Joe feared ahead of Andy and Nile’s visit. Would all of the progress Sophia made be erased when she had to stay with two strangers?

“I was just telling Sophia about our trip to see the Great Barrier Reef,” Nile explained.

“You guys are so cool,” Sophia answered, sounding more sure of herself than Nicky had been expecting, “I hope I can travel like you guys do someday.” Nicky hoped so too.

“I suggest Greece,” Andy answered, leaning in the open doorway with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Are you two...” Sophia started, pointing between the two women, “together?” she finally settled on.

It seemed to take a second for either woman to understand, but soon enough Nile was laughing and shaking her head. “No, we’re not. We’re practically sisters at this point.” Nicky wanted nothing more in that moment than to tell Sophia about Andy and Quynh, if only so she would understand she had another person to relate to here. He knew, though, that Andy wouldn’t take well to such a sensitive memory when she was already in a strange situation.

“So, how did this happen?” Andy finally asked what Nicky was sure she was dying to know, gesturing between Sophia and him.

“I was in one of Joe’s classes this semester,” Sophia answered, looking right at Nicky as if to ask for his help. “And um...”

“She wrote a beautiful poem, and you know how Joe gets,” Nicky laughed softly, not taking his eyes off the girl. He gave her a small smile and a nod as if to say,  _ it’s okay, you don’t have to tell them right away _ . Andy was giving him a look though, and he already knew what she would say later:  _ That doesn’t explain what she’s doing living with you two _ . “He kept telling me that she’s going to be the next famous poet.”

“Really?” That was Sophia’s voice, small but hopeful.

“Of course he did. He was really impressed with what you wrote,” Nicky answered, surprised that they hadn’t gone over this already. Though he supposed they’d had other, more important, conversations before.

“Oh,” was all Sophia said at first, looking at the table as if considering his words, “I’ve always wanted to be an author someday. Guess I didn’t really think it was possible.”

“When I was a kid, I wanted to be in the military like my dad,” Nile spoke up then and once again Nicky found himself more thankful for her than the woman would ever know. They all were old, ancient even, and though that meant they knew more about the world than any other human would, it also meant that sometimes they all failed to relate to mortal humans. While there were similarities, sometimes Nicky forgot what it was like to be a human with a time limit, to have hopes and dreams but not nearly enough time to complete all of them. Nile, though, she just did this. She had only been unable to die for a little over a year, meaning she still understood what it was like. She could help Sophia in ways that Joe and Nicky could never manage. “I was told by almost everyone that it wasn’t possible, that I wouldn’t be allowed in. I worked my ass off to make it possible, but I ended up a corporal in the Marines.”

Sophia didn’t answer with anything but a slow nod and smile. To anyone else it may have seemed like she was ignoring the words, but Nicky knew better and from the small smile on Nile’s face it seemed she did too. “C’mon, how about you show me around? We can get coffee or something,” Nile suggested to Sophia, giving a look to both Nicky and Andy, “We can even bring some dinner back with us.”

Sophia immediately looked to Nicky. Whether she was asking for permission or looking for a sign she was safe with a new person, Nicky didn’t know, but he nodded all the same. “Okay, thanks,” Sophia answered before grabbing her shoes and coat.

“We’ll be back later,” Nile informed Nicky as the pair headed out the door. 

As soon as he heard the click of the door shutting after them, Nicky sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, ready for Andy’s wrath. “That is a child,” was all Andy said, though he winced immediately at the straight tone in her voice.

“I’m starting to believe you’ve never seen a child, Boss,” Nicky tried to joke, though the woman in front of him wasn’t having any of it. So, he sighed and tried a different approach. “We all agreed we would do some good while we were split up.”

“Yeah, and you can do some good without being so reckless,” Andy pointed out, “You didn’t have to take in any strays.”

“She’s not some stray, Andy,” Nicky told her then, gaze hard as he tried to get across just how much this girl had come to mean to them in the months they’ve known her. “You just have to get to know her. A few minutes with her and you’ll understand. You can’t find any good or innocence left in humanity? She’s it, she is everything in humanity that is worth saving.”

“What do you think is going to happen? She’s going to get old, Nicky, then what? She’ll notice that you guys have magically stayed the same,” Andy explained, and though it frustrated Nicky to no end he understood where her disapproval was coming from. This  _ was _ dangerous for them, he knew. “We just learned what happens when the wrong people know about us. This could lead to another Merrick.”

“I know it could!” Nicky shouted before he could stop himself, resolve finally cracking at the thought of risking his family’s safety. He ran his fingers briskly through his hair, looking at Andy with what he was sure was a wild expression. “I am aware of what the future will be. Sophia will grow up, and she’ll move out. We’ll have to move away eventually and we either abandon her or tell the truth. There’s no winning for us, and I know that, but she needs us right now.”

Nicky sighed for what felt like the twelfth time, looking up to the ceiling as if the answer might be plastered up there. “I know we will have to say goodbye to her someday, but it will be worth it, it has to be.”

Andy must have felt the drop in mood, as she reached out and rested one hand on his shoulder. “You’re sure about this.” It wasn’t stated as a question, but Nicky nodded anyway.

“I’ve always wanted a daughter,” Nicky admitted. There were several times in his life that he’d had to come to terms with the fact that he would never be graced with a child. At first, it was because he preferred to lay with men and he ran to the monastery to hide from it. Then, with the almost certain death he was faced with in the Crusades. Even worse, when he fell for Joe, Nicky had almost thought it was possible. They could figure it out together as adoption became more common. The one limiting factor was always their inability to age. They all had to see Booker outlive his sons, how could they ever willingly do that to themselves? No, Nicky had very solidly given up on having a child, until Sophia.

“Then we’ll be here for you guys. Whatever you need, whatever she needs, you know we’ll support you.” And he did, truly. That was what they all did, for centuries. All they had for an endless amount of time was each other, but that was always all they needed.

“Thanks, Boss.”

Andy nodded then, patting his upper arm once before stepping away again. “Tell me about her, how you found her.” So he did, because while Nicky wasn’t always the best with his words, he could talk about this girl that he and Joe found. He told Andy everything; about Joe’s class and the clinic, about how Nicky had felt so guilty keeping secrets from Joe but knowing he had to let Sophia trust him. There were explanations of how she had cried when she came home from high school to Joe and Nicky painting her room in the color they saw most of her belongings were in. How it was physically painful to see her dealing with nightmares and the constant fear that seemed to surround her.

Nicky also told Andy about the good things, too, of which there were many. They got to watch Sophia start to come out of that little cage her parents seemed to restrain her in. Her eyes would light up any time they tried to teach her something new. Sophia was an excellent cook, picking things up as quickly as possible. She’s started branching out on her own, finding ways to mix the foods he and Joe teach her in ways that neither of them had ever thought of before. She’s a terrible study of Italian despite her insistence that she wants to learn, but she’s taken to Arabic decently. Sophia had later admitted that when she was younger, a family from Egypt moved into the house next to hers and they had a daughter around her age. The other girl had started to teach her some Arabic while Sophia had taught her how to ride a bike.  _ “Not an even trade at all, looking back on it. She became my best friend, though,” Sophia had laughed. _ She was so, so unbelievably kind. She’d asked Nicky if she could volunteer at the clinic too, and while she couldn’t do anything medical, one of the receptionists had started teaching her how to work the front desk. Sophia started wanting to spend more and more time there with Nicky now that school was on pause. 

“You love her, don’t you?” Andy asked once he stopped speaking.

It seemed like a lot for only a couple of months, but Nicky considered the word for a moment. He couldn’t imagine not having Sophia so ingrained in their lives. More than a few times, when it was just he and Joe in bed during the middle of the night, Joe would mention how lucky they were to have her. Joe had nearly started crying when he read her analysis of that poem, discussing how easy it was to love family, especially found family that weren’t obligated to love you back but instead had a reason to. “Yeah, yeah I do. We both do.”

It was moments later that Joe came in through the door, a few bags in hand and his cap on backward like he’s started doing recently. He took one look at Andy and Nicky standing in the kitchen, and from the way his shoulders dipped Nicky could tell he knew what they were talking about. “So, what’s the verdict then?”

“We can keep her.”

* * *

It turned out that Nile is fantastic with Sophia, though Nicky supposed he shouldn’t have expected less.

“I have a brother around her age,” Nile told him when he seemed so shocked at how quickly Sophia opened up to her. It had taken weeks for her to truly trust that he and Joe wouldn’t hurt or abandon her, but Sophia took to Nile within a couple of days.

Andy tended to keep her distance, much like someone who has a slight fear of dogs when they visit a friend’s house with one. She put on a good show, but Nicky knew that Sophia had already won her over. He could see it in the way that Andy would watch her hands like a hawk when Sophia was cutting something while cooking, or when she would immediately do a sweep as if to check for injuries any time Sophia came back into the house even if the girl was always with one of them.

Sophia slotted into their little family so well that Nicky had dared to think that maybe she was truly like them after all. He knew it was setting himself up to be hurt later but he had to hope.

The conversation he’d had with Andy had stuck with him longer than he wanted it to. It settled deep in Nicky’s bone, the idea that one day he would live in the world without Sophia in it. Harder still, and something he hasn’t dared to touch since the realization first came, he would have to live beyond Andy. It was always a possibility; she had walked the Earth much longer than any of them had, it only made sense for her to be first. It was entirely different to be staring that future in the face now, though.

“ _ Habibi _ ,” Joe spoke softly from behind him in the bathroom as he got ready for the day. Joe wrapped his arms around Nicky’s bare abdomen, resting his chin gently over one of his shoulders and making eye contact through the mirror. “You shouldn’t worry yourself like this. We have time.”

So Joe had been thinking of it too.

“And how long will we have to lie to her?” Nicky asked back, one hand placed on Joe’s interlocked ones and the other coming up to slide through his husband’s curls. “We’re asking her to trust us and yet we lie about everything we are.”

“She will know when it’s time,” Joe reasoned, and Nicky wanted to be mad at him for always knowing what to say, “She’s going through so much now, I don’t want to burden her with that knowledge only so we can feel better.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Nicky conceded. 

He could see the moment Joe’s brown eyes lit up, hiding his grin in Nicky’s neck. “I usually am.”

“Don’t get arrogant on me now.”

“You’re the one who said it,” Joe laughed, pressing one more kiss to Nicky’s neck before backing up a step. Nicky would be lying if he said he didn’t feel cold without his arms around him. “Now hurry up. I promised Phia we’d go to the store. She wants to try her hand at making shakshuka.”

“Haven’t you shown her how to make it already?” Nicky asked, though he knew better than to think she was going the traditional route. She really was talented at taking a dish one of them taught her to make and put a twist to it.

“Yes, of course. She has a Sophia version,” Joe laughed, confirming Nicky’s guess.

“Do you think she could be a chef one day?” Nicky asked, slipping out of the bathroom to find a clean outfit he could wear.

“She is a force of nature, Nicolo, of course she can if she wants to,” Joe answered so matter-of-factly that Nicky didn’t have any doubt that his words were the truth. The pair finished getting ready quickly and made it a joint effort to get to the kitchen where Nicky heard the sounds of his family laughing and joking.

“Yes, we have to make Chicago pizza now!” Sophia was exclaiming, setting a plate of pancakes down on the table. She looked up when she saw the two men standing there, and immediately a clearly fake scowl crossed her face. “You two are traitors.”

“And what have we done to betray you, Phia?” Nicky laughed, shaking his head at her dramatics.

“You never told me Nile’s from Chicago too! Are you kidding me? We could have bonded.”

“It looks like you already have,” Joe countered, immediately sitting down and digging into the breakfast that Sophia and Nile made. Just yesterday the girls had decided that Sophia’s hair should be blue. By the time Nicky got home from the clinic, Nile had taken her to get her ear cartilage pierced  _ and _ had dyed her hair.

“I guess that’s true, but still,” Sophia laughed, “Are we still going to the store today?”

“Of course. Nicky and I will take you shopping. Andy and Nile have other business to handle today,” Joe explained simply. Nicky looked to Andy then, watching as she schooled her expression into something that didn’t quite give away how  _ furious _ she was. Booker had called them the previous day, explaining that something important was going on that he couldn’t say over the phone. He was flying out to meet them immediately. It was painful to be leaving Nile and Andy to deal with Booker alone, but he and Joe couldn’t leave Sophia without her suspecting something.

So, after breakfast, the group split up for the day. It was going rather well, too, until it didn’t.

They had sent Sophia off ahead to grab some of the ingredients she would need while he and Joe looked in the next aisle for the cookies that they knew were Nile’s favorite. Nicky didn’t recognize the voice that was yelling, but the whimper that sounded from the next aisle was one that Nicky was far too familiar with, one that sent ice through his veins.

“You little bitch!” a voice shouted, so loudly that Nicky began to wonder why the workers in the store weren’t doing anything. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you, you ungrateful brat!”

Nicky and Joe took off in seconds, bolting around the corner to see Sophia backed all the way up against an aisle, a man’s hand wrapped so tightly around her upper arm Nicky knew instantly it would bruise. Unfortunately, Nicky could see the similarities in the man’s features, even as twisted with anger and hate as they were.

“Get away from her,” Joe immediately warned, his expression one of complete fury. This was Sophia’s father, the one that had hurt her so badly she flinched at everything for weeks.

“Who are you to tell me what to do?” Sophia’s father growled, yanking the girl around so she was behind him. Sophia hardly responded, her face contorting in pain but her eyes staying dutifully staring at the ground.

“We are her  _ family _ ,” Nicky answered sharply, “Now get your filthy hands off of her.” Sophia’s head snapped up at the word ‘family’, eyes shining with both unshed tears and an emotion that Nicky couldn’t quite place.

“Family? Well look at you go, FiFi, you got yourself a coupla' homos to take you in,” the man laughed cruelly. “Well, she’s coming home with me.”

“She’s not going anywhere with you,” Joe spoke, voice low so as to not draw attention but with so much anger that even Nicky was surprised. “You lost the right to be her father when you raised your hand against her.”

“That is a baseless accusation!” the man yelled, clearly having no problem with drawing attention. “All I see are two men who kidnapped my daughter. Even dyed her hair so she wouldn’t be recognized. Look at that pure fear on her face? You did that. Now, I can call the police and let them know where my missing daughter has been. I’m sure they’d love to arrest a couple of guys like you.”

Nicky very nearly growled at that threat. How dare this man accuse them of such a thing after what he’d done to his own daughter? “We’ll tell them what  _ you _ did to her.”

“Ah, now that’s interesting. Do you have any pictures? Videos? Any kind of evidence of what you’re accusing me of?”

“She’ll tell them everything you did.”

“Will she? And who will believe her, after she’s spent so long suffering with you two? What did you have to do to her to make her lie about her own dad like that, I wonder,” the man returned simply, shrugging his shoulders and smirking, “You can try it if you want.”

If they weren’t standing in the middle of a grocery store, Nicky was sure he would have strangled the man. Beside him, Joe wasn’t faring much better, practically shaking with rage. “He’s right,” Sophia whispered, staring right at Nicky with so much fear that it made his chest hurt. “There’s no proof. You guys could get hurt.” 

Of course, Nicky understood as much. Not only was there no evidence of what her father did, but there seemed to be a lot of circumstantial evidence that pointed to exactly what he had accused them of. He also wasn’t naive enough to think that the police would trust a straight white man before they trusted a brown man and his  _ husband _ . “I don’t care,” Nicky answered, “Call them. We’re not letting her leave with you.” Nicky would rather see a permanent death than watch her return to that house.

“Nicky,  _ please _ ,” Sophia cried, voice cracking on the words. “Don’t get arrested for me. I’m not worth it.”

“You’re worth everything, Sophia,” Joe spoke up then before turning to glare at her father. “You. I have had enough of you threatening me, my husband, and  _ our daughter _ . You will turn around and walk away right now. Never, ever lay your hand on her again or I will make sure you regret it.”

The man stared back at him for several moments, as if sizing him up and the clear threat. Then, he smirked and whipped out his phone. Nicky assumed it was to call the police, but before he could stop him, the man took a picture of them and bolted out of the store, implications clearly laid out before them.

Sophia let out a shaky breath that quickly turned into a sob once he was gone. Joe immediately ran forward and captured her in a hug, one hand on her back and the other cradling the back of her head. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” Joe was whispering to her. 

Nicky glanced around, trying to take in the situation around them. Several shoppers were staring, some with their phones out and talking. Some were clearly recording them on video. He saw very few supportive faces, most of them panicked. They believed Sophia’s father. This was as bad as it could get, Nicky knew. “Joe,” he tried, though when the other man didn’t answer he added in a considerably more panicked voice, “ _ Yusuf, we have to go _ .”

He dropped their small basket of food, trying to shield Joe and Sophia from view of bystanders as they walked out of the shop. They had called so much attention on themselves, so much negative attention, that Nicky knew in his heart that they couldn’t stay in town. While Joe sat in the backseat with Sophia, arms wrapped tightly around her and talking so softly Nicky could hardly hear, Nicky sped home. His hands were white-knuckled around the steering wheel, trying hard not to break apart.

They ran into Sophia’s father. The man that raised his hand against her so badly she almost needed a hospital stay. The man that made her hate almost everything about herself so badly that they were still trying to show her how to love. This was the man who broke their darling Sophia, and what were they able to do to protect her? Absolutely nothing. They could run, like they always did. Nicky scoffed out loud at the thought, shaking his head. That was all they could offer her now? A life on the run? She deserved so much better; Nicky only wished he could give the world to the girl. Instead, she was breaking apart in the backseat of their car and all they could do was run.

Nicky was going to kill that man someday, that much was clear.

Andy and Nile still weren’t back by the time they got to the house. Sophia immediately let them know that she wanted to be alone, hurrying to her room and locking the door before Nicky could even suggest otherwise. It left him and Joe standing in the living room, wondering how to get out of this.

“We could try to explain. I work at the clinic, they might believe me,” Nicky tried, but the disbelieving look from Joe was enough to shut the thought down.

“When have they ever believed the word of someone like us?” Joe answered, and his voice was so flat that it made tears spring to Nicky’s eyes. “We have no choice. If we stay, they’ll send her back to him.”

“Andy and Nile get back in the morning. We will leave then. She has a passport, we can get somewhere,” Nicky planned then, stepping forward to wrap his arms around Joe; a ghost of the embrace they shared that morning. “We won’t let them hurt her, Joe, you know that.”

They were on the news that night. This was worse than they could have ever imagined. Andy was going to kick their asses, Nicky knew. There was a video of them yelling at Sophia’s father, of Joe picking Sophia up and them practically running out of the store. The news called them violent kidnappers and said they were currently wanted by the police for questioning. Nicky wondered if Copley would be able to do anything to get that video scrubbed away.

He hardly slept that night. He laid in Joe’s arms, eyes wide open in the dark, wondering how it went so badly. Could they have done anything to prevent it? Should they have taken pictures of Sophia’s injuries? It was something the nurses always asked of patients at the clinic, but most of them turned it down. Sophia had been no different. Should he have insisted?

Nicky didn’t think it could get much worse. When sunlight began streaming into the room and the front door opened to announce Andy and Nile’s return, Nicky pulled himself out of bed. He numbly grabbed a shirt and slipped out of the bedroom, gently shutting the door behind him so it wouldn’t wake Joe. He deserved a few extra minutes of sleep after all that had happened.

“Nicky, we have to go,” Andy stated as soon as he entered the kitchen.

He reeled his head back, wondering briefly how they had known. “You heard?” he asked, pulling two confused looks from Andy and Nile.

“What do you mean?” she pressed, her entire expression pulled into concern.

Nicky rubbed a hand down the side of his face. “You first.” How could he even explain what had happened?

“It’s Quynh,” Andy spoke with such weight that it sounded like she might have sighed through the words. “She got out. Found Booker through the dreams.”

Nicky’s heart slammed against his chest, knocking all of the breath from his lungs. After so many years of searching for her, the thought of her escaping on her own had never once occurred to him. His sister, the one who had taken him and Joe in, was free at last. He hated that he couldn’t even feel as happy about it as he should, knowing what he had to tell Andy and Nile.

“Sophia’s father found her,” Nicky got out, throat tight with all of the guilt and pain swirling through his muscles. “He threatened us, accused us of taking her against her will. The police want us. They have videos of us.”

“That bastard!” Nile shouted, loud enough that Nicky knew both Joe and Sophia would wake. Both of them slept deeply but could be awoken by any sort of yelling; a trained instinct.

“She’ll come with us then, to France,” Andy said, already shifting her stance to reclaim her role as leader of their little pack. “She’ll be safe with us.”

“I know. I only hate that we’re forcing her to run,” Nicky sighed, “She’ll love Quynh though.”

“Quynh?” That was Joe’s voice, soft with his shock. He was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, hair a bit of a mess and eyes still tired with sleep. He hadn’t bothered to put a shirt on yet.

“She’s free, Joe,” Nicky explained, voice shaking with the joy he allowed to swell in his chest, “She came to Booker, that was what he had to tell us.”

“That’s where we’ll go then, to Quynh,” Joe stated, a smile taking over his features. “Quynh,” he whispered again as if getting used to speaking her name again. Andy of course had been completely devastated at the loss of the other woman, but Nicky and Joe were no less hurt by it. While they saw both women as mentors, Quynh had been something like a mother to them. It was Andy who had taught Nicky how to throw someone off his trail when they were following him, but it was Quynh who held him as he wondered allowed why his God would send him to commit such atrocities against innocent people, against his soulmate. They had done the best they could to hold their family together after the witch trials, but there had always been an obvious hole where Quynh was meant to be.

“I’ll check on Sophia, tell her to pack a bag,” Nicky told Joe softly, knowing he would want to talk to Andy. While they all relied on each other, Joe and Andy had always had a connection that Nicky didn’t share, and that was okay. He had always seemed to bond a little closer with Quynh, anyway.

Nicky knocked on Sophia’s door a couple of times, worry growing in his chest as no answer came. Already feeling like he was invading her privacy, Nicky opened the door.

He wanted to pass out at what he saw. “Sophia? Sophia?” He called out to the empty bedroom, already knowing in his heart that she wasn’t in the house. The journal they had gifted her sat on the bed open to a page of writing. Nicky picked it up with shaking hands, already growing nauseous.

_ Joe and Nicky, _

_ Thank you for everything. I think it’s safe to say I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you two. You took me in when it would have been much easier for you to let me go. You accepted me into your family and taught me what it really was like to love and be loved. It hit me today when you called me your daughter just how much I love you two. You guys are the parents that I always wished my Mom and Dad would’ve been. _

_ I can’t go back to that house, but I also can’t let you take the fall for me. So, I’m leaving. I’ll continue with my plan I had before you two saved me. Find a new city, find a shelter for teens like me, and finish high school in peace without hurting anyone else. Please don’t look for me, I couldn’t live with myself if you got arrested because of me. _

_ I’ll always remember everything you taught me. I will do as you always told me every night when I would wake up from nightmares of my original family; I’ll keep my head up and I’ll keep my heart strong because then I’ll be unstoppable. That future you told me about, when you first took me in? I cling to that still. It is what will keep me going through this. I promise you that I won’t waste what you gave me. I promise I will make that future come true, no matter what. I will graduate high school, and go to college, and meet a woman that I can love as much as you two love each other. I’ll cook them the meals you taught me to make because through those dinners you taught me to love and you taught me to heal. No one can ever take that away. _

_ I’ll see you soon, someday, _

_ Sophia. _

The journal fell from Nicky’s hands onto the ground with a resounding ‘thud’. He slapped his hand over his mouth to muffle the strangled sound that fought to escape it. She was gone, off on her own because they weren’t able to protect her. Nicky and Joe lost her.

“Yusuf, Yusuf,” Nicky shouted then, feet moving on autopilot back into the kitchen. He’s sure tears must be falling down his cheeks because his vision is far too blurry. His hands feel numb where they’d held that book, the one Sophia had written her goodbye in.

Joe was by him in an instant, speaking but not reaching Nicky’s ears. His warm hands held Nicky’s face between them but he couldn’t feel it. All he felt was cold.

“Nicolo, what happened?” Joe was asking, eyes alight with fear and worry.

Nicky sobbed again, not believing that he would have to break his husband’s heart like this. “She’s gone, Joe.”

“What? Did he take her?” Joe was instantly furious, making Nicky let out another rough sob. “I don’t understand.”

“She left. To protect us. Sophia’s gone, we lost her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, um, yes. I'm sorry. as you may have guessed, no this isn't the last time they see Sophia but still, I apologize. I want to get the next chapter out relatively quickly so expect that in the next few days.
> 
> also, thank you so much for the response this has gotten! I have absolutely loved reading everyone's comments and seeing all the support this has received. I really appreciate it.


	5. July 2025 - Joe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, welcome back! once again thanks so much for the support you all have shown for this fic, I've had a lot of fun writing it. in this chapter, there are just a couple of simple phrases in Italian but nothing more than that. I don't speak the language, so I apologize if anything is off. my friend learned Italian as a second language so I was texting her in a panic at 4 am asking her to help me.
> 
> here are the warnings for this chapter:  
> referenced abuse  
> heavy discussions of religion and particularly about homophobia  
> depictions of homelessness  
> mentions of physical assault (a character gets beaten up)

For the first time in ages, Joe was awake before Nicky. It was early enough in the morning that the sun was only beginning to ride up over the horizon. Typically by the time Joe had pulled himself out of bed, Nicky was already standing by the shoreline with his second (or third) cup of coffee. They would stand there and watch the sunrise, occasionally mentioning how lucky they were that they always had Malta to return to.

Instead, Nicky was still fast asleep in bed on his stomach, face completely relaxed and one hand up to gently clench the bedsheet in a loose fist by his head. It was good to see his love finally taking some time for himself to rest.

After Sophia, they had both been grateful that the group wanted to go on missions again. They threw themselves into their work, trying to save as many people as they could ( _“because we couldn’t save_ **_her_ ** _”_ ran through his mind more than Joe would like). It was only in March that they’d taken a break. Andy had taken a bullet to the upper arm and Quynh had been in near hysterics afterward. If Andy had been standing just a little to the left, that bullet would have settled in her heart and it would’ve been over. No, after the consequences of Andy’s mortality became too clear to them, they all decided to live normally again temporarily.

Booker and Nile had been the first to split from the group. Though he had brought them Quynh, there was still a level of distrust that couldn’t be overcome that easily. Joe knew that one day, maybe even sooner than he initially thought, they would heal enough for Booker to come back. Until then, though, he went back to Paris. Nile went with him, saying something about having always wanted to see the city. Joe knew from the look she kept giving the Frenchman, though, that it was more about wanting more time with the man she cared for. Joe didn’t talk to Booker, but he called and texted Nile often enough. “He’s doing great, Joe, he’s really trying to get sober for the group,” she would tell him, and once again Joe understood that Nile was a necessary addition to the group. She had come to them at the perfect time, just when they had needed someone like her. He was sure Booker would not have been able to recover from his guilt had she not been there every step of the way. Though Joe needed time apart from Booker, he was grateful that his brother had someone like Nile looking out for him.

The four of them stuck together for longer, but by mid-June Andy and Quynh decided to split. It had been a tough decision for them, but the women had promised it wouldn’t be for long. They just needed time to get to know one another again, and Joe understood far too well. Before he and Nicky even found the women the first time, the pair had split. It had been on their own terms, Nicky needing to come to terms with his guilt over his role in the devastation of Jerusalem and Joe needing to figure out his confusing and conflicting feelings for the man he first saw as an invader, then ally, then something akin to a friend, then...well, he didn’t have words for what he felt for Nicolo then. They had spent about a decade apart before coming back together, though they spent that entire next year relearning each other. He understood Andy and Quynh had a lot of that to do after centuries apart so he would not fault them for the time apart from an aging Andy and a Quynh they had missed for centuries.

Joe and Nicky returned to Malta after Andy and Quynh left. It was always their safe place; the first place Nicky willingly returned to Joe after they split so many centuries ago, the first place that Joe had proposed to Nicky, the place they just kept returning to when they needed a break together. The pair hadn’t had a true break since their time in the United States, and even then that had ended so horribly it had hardly seemed like a break. Their time as normal, plain Joe and Nicky Jones came to an end so abruptly then, it would be nice to have some time to be those people again now.

Joe made his tea as quietly as possible, ending up standing in the little ‘office’ area they had set up. They had built this house together centuries ago, and every so often took the time to update it to modern standards. The little alcove he now stood in was covered in bookshelves, housing all of the favorite books they had collected over their years of traveling. It was also where Joe kept the paintings he created while there. Some hanging up on walls, but most stacked and leaning against the shelves. Joe pulled out one of the books, getting comfortable in the armchair they threw into the corner. It was a book they’d carried with them for six years but hadn’t opened since then. Joe ran his fingers over the slightly worn cover of the journal, opening only the front cover so he could retrieve the quick sketch he’d folded in. 

After everything that went wrong, Joe had been devastated to realize that they didn’t have any pictures of their daughter. On the plane ride back to France, he’d furiously sketched what he could remember of her. He ended up immortalizing her in one of the happiest memories he had with the girl: she was sitting at the dining table with her schoolwork scattered around her. A pencil sat on her ear and she was grinning, eyes bright at something he had said to her. Nicky had been standing in the doorway, shaking his head and smiling at the two in the way Joe knew to mean _“I love you both, but you’re so much trouble together.”_

When they realized she had run away, they all searched the city for three days straight. Joe and Nicky had been nearly frantic in their panic for her, guided solely by Andy and Nile’s reason and cool-composure. What if her dad had found her and took her back to that hell of a home? There was never any sign of her though, nothing that could tell them where she went. She had left her phone behind, giving them nothing to track her with. Joe had been devastated to leave her behind, but there was no other choice. They _had_ to leave the country, without her, or risk bringing more negative attention onto themselves. Joe had even reached out to Copley, asking him to search for her. Even he couldn’t find her, and he’d looked for almost two years. Sophia Moore had fallen off the map, she was untraceable, gone.

A sound came from Joe’s phone, alerting him that Nile had sent him a text. She was the only one that ever texted, the others still clinging to the idea of calling each other, meaning she was the one he spoke to most often. She and Joe often sent each other updates on what they were up to, little snippets of each of their domestic lives. A picture of Nicky drinking coffee by the sea one morning, followed by an image of Nile and Booker on the Seine. On their quick visit to the States, she had even sent a picture of her holding a grumpy-looking raccoon that she and Booker had rescued and rehabilitated. She had followed the image with a joke about how she thought Nicky was supposed to be in Malta with Joe.

As much as he loved those texts from Nile, Joe knew this one could wait. It had taken him six years to even _want_ to open the door to the grief and loss that had been with him since December of 2019. He couldn’t shut that door now, not when he was holding that sketch and trying not to crinkle the edges of the page.

It seemed Nile was feeling stubborn today, though, as soon enough his ringtone filled the room. Joe chuckled, pulling the phone up to his ear and accepting the call. “Don’t ignore me,” Nile told him then.

“What, did you and Book decide to elope first thing in the morning or something?” Joe asked teasingly.

“Just look at the message,” Nile insisted.

“Is it that important? What is it?”

“You’ll want to see it. You can thank me later.” With that, Nile hung up and Joe sighed, wondering what could have been so vital that he had to look at it now.

He folded up the sketch again, placing it in the front cover of that journal and returning the book to its place on the shelf. It was only once he was curled back up on the armchair that he opened Nile’s message, seeing that it was a Youtube video. Even more curious, Joe clicked the link to pull up the video entitled ‘Carbonara and A Life Update’.

The video was centered in a kitchen, mostly light colors with wooden floating shelves on the walls. Joe could see cute little trinkets and plants scattered about, giving a feeling of home about the place. There was a marble island counter where a young woman was standing. She was clearly in her twenties and had light purple hair twisted up into a bun. Her skin was tanned, a bit pink as though she’d been in the sun for too long. Her eyes were bright, happy. She had a glass of white wine in one hand, the other smoothing down her black apron before fiddling with some of the bowls on the counter.

_“Hi everyone! Welcome back, I know it’s been a second since I’ve made a video but a lot of big things were happening behind-the-scenes here. First and foremost I have to thank all of you who supported the Love Is Love charity event two weeks ago. We raised over $100,000 for various LGBTQ organizations and charities. That was a huge collaboration between so many amazing content creators and I am so thankful to have been a part of that,” the woman explained, beaming brightly before taking a sip of her wine._

_“I know I mentioned this in the last video, but I finished moving and I can finally tell you why I’m here! As you know, I just moved to Bologna, Italy,” the woman paused, and Joe had to assume it was because that huge smile was preventing her from speaking. “I am now a chef at a major Italian restaurant! I’m not going to say which one, but if any of you are in Bologna I dare you to see if you can find my cooking.”_

Joe watched as the woman began to explain the next point of her video, the cooking. She began to walk through the steps to make pasta from scratch, a smaller but more nostalgic smile taking over her expression.

_“I learned how to make pasta from scratch when I was seventeen,” the woman explained, “You all know I was a bit of a troubled child then. The family I was staying with...they had just basically rescued me off the street. It was hard for me to trust them at first, still hurt by what had happened before.”_

_Joe watched as the woman wordlessly kneaded the dough together, as she seemingly collected her thoughts before continuing. “They reached out to me through food. Carbonara was the first dish they ever taught me how to cook. They showed me how food could be used to connect, and heal, and love.”_

_“Sorry if I’m a little sentimental this video, but I finally got my dream job here. Those two gave up so much to take me in and make me feel safe. Everything that I’ve been telling you guys, I’ve learned it from them.”_

The woman deviated then into more instructions on the meal and some more lighthearted discussions. There were jokes that made Joe chuckle aloud and she was so captivating he could hardly take his eyes off the video. She ended the video with sweet words and a promise for an update next week. 

Joe was beginning to think he understood why Nile sent him the video. For the first time in six years, he dared get his hopes up. His thoughts were only confirmed when he looked down at the name of the channel.

Of course. They should have thought of it sooner. Joe let out a shaky breath then, one hand coming up to rest over his mouth. They had spent this whole time looking for Sophia Moore when they really should have been looking for someone else.

_Sophia Jones._

* * *

**January 2020 - Sophia**

When Sophia Moore had been kicked out of her house for being ‘an affront to God’, as her father would put it, she was convinced she would never step foot in a church again.

She used to love going to church. It was a way for her to connect to her family, to find peace and confidence in her life. It was a piece of her identity that Sophia was sure she could never lose. Then it was used against her in a way that made her feel empty. An emptiness that stuck with her until she was shown care by two strangers who had no business caring about someone like h-

No. Sophia physically shook her head, unable to bear considering the life she had to leave behind. She had used the money she’d saved over a decade to catch a bus to Indianapolis. What she hadn’t accounted for was the fact that a day before she arrived in the city, she turned eighteen. Apparently, that meant most teen shelters wouldn’t accept her, saying they were so full for the winter they had to reserve their beds for more needy individuals.

Sophia ended up well and truly homeless without a plan. It was the scariest few weeks of her life, some that would leave her with nightmares for years. She ended up finding a small group that would huddle for warmth at night. The winter was hard, they told her, they all had to stick together to survive.

When a group of pompous men attacked their defenseless group one night, Sophia was forced to leave. That was how she ended up stumbling into a church. It was snowing, the air was so far below freezing that Sophia could no longer feel most of her extremities. Her face burned from the bitter cold as well as the brutal punches thrown her way. She’d lost her backpack, the only items to her name, stolen by those men because it amused them. The only true thing she mourned in that bag, though, was a scrap of paper with two phone numbers she’d scrawled on it. Now there was no way to contact them, not anymore, and she was well and truly on her own. Sophia stumbled into the church mostly for warmth and protection but soon found herself bending to her knees and clasping her hands together in prayer.

She sat perfectly still for ten minutes before she realized she didn’t know what to pray _for_ anymore. It had been so long.

A gentle touch on her shoulder decided for her. Sophia jumped back, slamming her back into the pew with such force she cried out. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” a gentle voice spoke from above her. When she finally was able to calm her breathing, to force out the memories of shouting, of pleading those men to stop, of pleading her Dad to s-

“I’m okay, I’m sorry,” Sophia managed to get out, physically shaking the memories out of her head. “I’ll leave, I just needed a few minutes.” It was late, surely the priest standing above her wanted to go home to his family.

“Don’t leave if you don’t want to,” the man spoke. “I was only coming over to offer my ears, if you wanted to talk about what was troubling you.”

“I-” Sophia began to dismiss his offer, then paused. She hadn’t gotten help from anyone in so long, not in the weeks since she left Joe and Nicky’s house. “I would really appreciate it, thank you.”

She sat down on the pew and the priest followed suit, turned slightly inward to face her. He was relatively young, probably in his late thirties or early forties if she had to guess. He had kind eyes, Sophia decided. “I’m Father Matthew,” he introduced, extending his hand as if he wouldn’t mind touching her dirty one. “Just Matthew is fine.”

“Sophia,” she answered softly, head tilted back down so she could stare at where her hands rested in her lap.

“You look like you’ve suffered a great deal tonight, Sophia.”

“Yeah, you could say that,” she responded, smiling dully. “I don’t even really know why I came here. I haven’t prayed in months. I guess I’ve just been so lost lately and I really wanted this to still feel like home to me.”

“Does it?” Matthew asked.

“I don’t know,” Sophia told him truthfully, shrugging her stiff shoulders. “I don’t know the right words to say anymore. I forgot how to pray, I think.”

“There are no right words, only what feels right for you. Prayer is not meant to be done one certain way, it’s about your personal connection,” Matthew explained, and he held so much wisdom about this it reminded Sophia of a conversation she’d had over coffee in October. 

“It’s sort of funny. I had to leave my home because our religion told my parents to hate me, and yet, I come here for guidance and comfort still.”

“Do you have somewhere to stay tonight?” Matthew asked then. Sophia felt a wave of relief flood through her that he didn’t immediately agree with her parents.

“I, um...no, no I don’t,” Sophia admitted, bowing her head a little to avoid looking at him. She was tired of seeing the pity in people’s eyes as they saw her situation and then carried on with their lives.

“I help run a shelter for abused teens,” Matthew began to explain, “Normally there would be priority for those under eighteen, but please come stay there. We can help you get set up at a high school, food, clothes, whatever you need.”

Sophia thought for a second that she might cry. How was it that she happened to stumble into this opportunity? After weeks fending for herself, she would have somewhere safe and warm to be that night, and however many nights afterward that it would take to get back on her feet. “Thank you. I don’t have the words, I can’t thank you enough.”

The shelter was small and was mostly run by priests and nuns. There were about twenty beds that she could see, almost all of them full except the one she was guided to. It was once she stepped into the warm shower that Sophia truly let it out. Her shoulders curled so her head could rest against the tiled wall, closing her eyes as the water washed the dirt, sweat, and blood away.

She was safe. It had started to feel as though her situation would never get better. Being there, defrosting her hands and feet, made Sophia ache for her family. Not her biological family, the ones who cast her aside the moment they didn’t agree with who she was, but the ones who took her in when they didn’t have any reason to. Joe, who sat with her in silence for hours until she was comfortable enough to have a conversation; who gave one look and made it clear just how much love he felt for her. Nicky, who was more reserved but was always a comforting presence; who sat on the other side of her bedroom door as she cried over a nightmare, never once saying anything but never needing to in order to make her feel safe. Even Nile and Andy, who she only knew for a short time but almost immediately knew she would love. Nile always treated her like an equal and never looked at her with the sympathy and pain that Joe and Nicky inadvertently sent her sometimes. Andy was tough and hard, but she didn’t have to say anything for Sophia to understand that the woman would ensure no harm ever came to her.

Sophia longed to be with her family, but knew for their sake that she couldn’t. If only her father hadn’t been so cruel, so manipulative. She should’ve expected as much, shouldn’t have gotten so comfortable. It was her fault that Joe and Nicky had to make plans about abandoning their lives there. As soon as she’d overheard that plan, she had known she had to leave so no harm ever came to them. It would have been unbearable to know they were on the run because of her.

Life at the shelter was not always perfect or comfortable, but it was safe. The food was nothing like Joe and Nicky’s, but it was always guaranteed. The volunteers were kind to her and though she wasn’t best friends with any of the other kids, they were nice enough. When she got to the shelter, she had asked Father Matthew about changing her last name. “I don’t want to be traceable by my parents. They can’t find me.” He told her to think of what she wanted it to be, and they could discuss with legal experts to get it done.

Sophia had thought for weeks. Though she did her best to throw herself into her schoolwork, she always had the thought in the back of her mind. What would her last name be? It would be a decision that could very well last forever, it had to be good. _Just as long as it isn’t Moore_ , she thought to herself on plenty of occasions. Her schoolwork ended up being scribbled over with ideas more often than not.

It was during graduation that she came up with it. She wore her golden cap and gown, sitting amongst the other students that she didn’t really know that well. It was upsetting that she wouldn’t be able to graduate with the kids she grew up with, but then again they hadn’t exactly liked her there at the end.

After her name was called, Sophia was hit with an ache deep in her chest. It wasn’t for her parents like suggested to her months before. No, it was for Joe and Nicky, her adopted dads who had given her the hope for a happy future, who had given her enough care and strength to survive to graduation. It was for the people she longed to talk to, if only once so she could tell them that she made it. 

That night, she went to Father Matthew with the idea.

A couple of weeks later, she was officially Sophia Isabelle Jones.

* * *

**July 2025 - Joe**

The moment Joe and Nicky found Sophia Jones, they called Copley; practically demanding that he drop everything to figure out where she was now and where she had been since 2019. 

In the meantime, they watched every single video that she had uploaded to Youtube. Sophia had started the channel to document her years through culinary school, just a way to keep the memories. She began to get popular quickly though, and Joe could understand why. The young woman was captivating with her honest storytelling and uplifting words. She was always cooking something, and tried to give instructions throughout, but most of her videos felt more like chatting with a friend.

Sophia had had a girlfriend for a while, that much they could tell. The other woman had started making cameos in videos over a year ago, though quite recently was never mentioned again. The last mention of the girlfriend was in a Q&A video where someone asked about her and all Sophia had said was that she wasn’t enjoying the idea of moving out of the US.

Interspersed between the videos, Copley sent them updates from what trail he could find. She had spent some time at a homeless shelter for abused teens, first recorded in the last week of January of 2020. The next trail came from her admission into a top culinary school in the state, then her Youtube channel. There were pictures and videos of her at charity events, always for abuse victims or the LGBTQ community. Not only has she put them together herself but she’s donated to and participated in many more. She volunteered for a long time at the same shelter she had stayed in. Now, she was in Italy. _Of course it was Italy._

Now, Joe and Nicky were packing their bags to head for Bologna.

“What if she doesn’t want to see us? What if we only remind her of all the pain she was put through?” Joe had asked Nicky when they came up with the plan.

“We can let her make that decision,” Nicky had told him, always coming up with a rational response even if it didn’t quite put Joe’s fears at ease. It had been years since she had lived with them, and she had really only been there for barely two months.

What if she was more important to them than they were to her?

No, Joe had to remind himself as he threw random clothes into the bag. He could see in the few mentions of them in her videos that her time with them meant just as much to Sophia as it did to them.

“She’s a chef, an artist,” Nicky had practically cooed, eyes almost as bright as when they first saw Quynh again after centuries apart.

“She’s so _happy_ ,” Joe added, and that was the most important part, wasn’t it? While he was overjoyed they had helped her find a career that she loved, he was beyond thrilled that she had been able to find happiness on her own. Though his heart ached for the future they’d imagined all those years ago, of them helping her find an apartment and getting her moved into her college dorms, Joe was grateful she had found her own path to happiness.

In the middle of their journey to Bologna, Joe knew he had to call Andy. She picked up on the second ring, clearly concerned as they didn’t call that often (something he wished that they would fix, after this was all over). 

“Did Nile tell you?” Joe asked, nearly breathlessly as soon as he heard her pickup.

“Tell me what?” Andy asked in return, practically answering the question for him. He could sense the shift in her tone, more concerned. He could imagine the woman standing from wherever she was sitting, a hand flying to her short hair.

“Sophia,” was all Joe could say in reply, “We found her.”

“Is she okay? Do you need us?” Andy immediately asked, voice hardening with what Joe knew was concern. He couldn’t help but smile at how Andy’s love for them extended to little Sophia--who he supposed wasn’t too little anymore--who would have adored her had they had more time together.

“She’s safe and happy. She’s in Bologna, she’s a chef,” Joe explained, “We’re going to go see her.”

“That’s great, Joe,” Andy told him honestly, barely pausing before adding, “Be careful. It’s been six years. A lot can change in that time.”

“I know, we know, Boss. If she doesn’t want us around, we’ll leave immediately, but we have to try. She’s...”

“As close to a daughter as any of us are going to get,” Andy sighed, “If you need anything, call immediately. If she needs anything, we’ll be there.”

“Thanks, Boss.”

“Keep me updated.”

Joe hung up the phone and sighed, leaning back in his seat. It would be another three hours to Bologna, and yet it would be the longest three hours of his life.

* * *

**February 2025 - Sophia**

“What do you think? This one or the green one?”

It was safe to say that Sophia was nervous - terrified, even. She had organized charity events before, but this one just had to be perfect.

Unfortunately for her, Sophia’s girlfriend was being less-than-helpful.

“Whatever you want, Babe,” Leah called out from her seat on the bed, not once looking up from her phone.

“No no no, please help me, Leah,” Sophia practically begged, spinning to face away from her floor-length mirror and toward her girlfriend of two years. “This is important to me, I have to look good.”

“Why are you so stressed anyway? It’s just some charity event. You’ve done tons before,” Leah sighed, clearly annoyed with the way Sophia’s anxiety seemed to only be building.

“You know this isn’t just another charity event. I lived at this shelter,” Sophia pointed out, rolling her eyes when she realized her girlfriend wouldn’t make the dress choice for her. She decided on the silver one she wore now, moving to her dresser to pick out the jewelry to match.

“And you got out of that terrible place, why the hell would you go back?”

“It wasn’t terrible.” Sophia felt defensiveness building in her chest toward the shelter that had taken her in. She hadn’t had anyone, would’ve likely died from the cold that winter had that shelter not found space for her. “That shelter saved my life.”

“Babe, you’re being dramatic again,” Leah laughed, finally setting her phone down to cross the room and wrap her arms around Sophia’s waist. For the first time in years, Sophia nearly flinched at the touch, instead allowing only her shoulders to tense before relaxing into the hold. “You were a teenager, you’re probably just overdramatizing it in your mind.”

“Overdramatizing,” Sophia repeated, as if testing the word in her mouth. It tasted sour, like overripe lemons. “Was I overdramatizing my abuse too?”

“ _Well_ , I think that word is probably a bit much,” Leah laughed, “You have a habit of running away when things get a little tough, you know.”

“Do I? Why would you say that?” Sophia tried to ignore the rising anger in her chest, fumbling a little as she tried to clasp her necklace around her neck. Leah laughed again, always carefree about Sophia’s past in a way that made the other woman want to curl up and sob. She wondered only briefly what Joe and Nicky would think of Leah, though quickly decided she probably wouldn’t like the answer.

“Your parents didn’t immediately accept you, so you ran without giving them a chance. You found those weird guys or whatever, but you ran from them too when it would’ve been easier to stay. You switched culinary schools twice because it didn’t feel right, and now you’re running off to Italy this summer.” Leah kissed Sophia on the lips, gently so as to not mess up her lipstick. “It’s what you do, Soph, you run.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Sophia sighed, head tilting down so she could stare at the ground. Leah had been the first person she’d told her entire story too, and she truly thought that Sophia had reacted too quickly? It didn’t feel right, thinking that she should’ve given her parents more time or risked Joe and Nicky’s safety for her own comfort, but Leah was so smart. The other woman always seemed to know what she was talking about and always seemed to know the right thing to say to Sophia. If she was convinced that Sophia had been wrong, then maybe it was just the trauma of it all clouding Sophia’s judgment of the situation. “I’m not running away to Italy though, I’m chasing my dream.”

“Your dream? You have everything you could ever need here,” Leah spoke, voice growing harder as Sophia recognized her clear frustration with her. Leah definitely had a temper when it came to Sophia; _“You just have a way of making people so mad when they’re around you, Babe.”,_ Leah had explained once. “You have a nice house and a hot model girlfriend. You’re a famous content creator and you have so much money that you’re constantly throwing it at charities. Like I’ve said before, you don’t need to get a job and you don’t need to leave.”

“But I want to be a chef, and think about how much I could learn there? I’ll be working for one of the top chefs in the country, _in the world_. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“So is being with me,” Leah countered, and if it wouldn’t have caused a worse argument then Sophia would have rolled her eyes. They had met each other while Sophia was studying in New York City and Leah had been new to the modeling industry. Sophia would never tell her this, but she was sure it was no coincidence that Leah’s modeling career took off immediately after Sophia made a video announcing they were dating.

She didn’t understand when Leah had become so terrible. The woman was self-obsessed and horribly selfish. Sometimes, Sophia genuinely got embarrassed in public because of the way she treats people. She just wanted the woman she loved back, the one who was so kind to everyone, the one who loved all of Sophia, even the annoying bits.

“You’re really not coming with me?” Sophia sighed, knowing the answer to her question would make her decision. She had considered this since getting the job offer a couple months ago, when she told Leah and the woman refused to speak to her for a week.

“To the charity event? Or Italy?”

“Either. Both.”

“Neither,” Leah answered simply, “You know I can’t handle the Italian sun.”

“And the event?” Sophia asked, voice strangely dull.

“I can’t stand shelters. Or homeless people.”

“I was a homeless person,” Sophia gasped, eyes wide as she wondered just what happened to the woman she was sure she could love forever.

“And you decided not to be one anymore.”

Sophia laughed then. It sounded completely insane, and from the look Leah was giving her Sophia was sure she had an expression to match. “Okay. I’m going to this event, and when I get back, I’m packing a bag and leaving. We’re done.”

“Are you serious? You’re gonna leave me?” Leah yelled, blue eyes alight with anger. “How dare you! You don’t have the guts, you can’t make it in this world without me!”

“I guess we’ll see, won’t we?” Sophia snapped, grabbing her purse and almost running out the door.

The car ride was quick, too quick. It didn’t give Sophia nearly enough time to process what had happened. She just dumped her girlfriend of two years, and yet she couldn’t find it in her to be too upset about it. That should’ve been the sign, then, that the relationship should have ended awhile ago. There was no love left between them, not in the way Sophia had always hoped.

Not in the way Joe and Nicky had promised her. At first, Sophia had really been sure that Leah was the one. She was so funny, and smart, and so genuinely in love with the world. The other woman had such big dreams and enough ambition that Sophia had known from the start that she would get there. The trouble came, when two years later, Sophia realized that Leah never once looked at her like she was the stars. There were still pieces of her missing and Leah never cared to try and find them. Leah never spoke about her like Joe spoke about Nicky, as though love started and would end with him.

“Miss Jones! It’s so great to see you,” a familiar voice called as soon as she stepped out of the car, startling her for only a moment.

The man looked good, still had those kind eyes that Sophia had known she could trust. He was older now, a bit more grey in his hair and more lines on his face. “Father Matthew, it’s been so long,” Sophia laughed as the man brought her into a hug, “And please, it’s Sophia.”

“Then it’s Matthew,” the man returned, “Thank you for organizing this.”

“Oh please, it’s the least I could do after all you guys did for me,” Sophia answered honestly as the pair stepped into the building. It wasn’t the shelter, as it was still being used to take care of teens now, but rather an event building that could house such an event.

“You don’t owe us anything,” Matthew pointed out, “I’m only glad to see how successful you’ve ended up. You’re one of our greatest success stories, you know.”

“I don’t feel it sometimes,” Sophia admitted softly as they made their way through the room. She ended up with a glass of champagne in her hand, though only sipped at it carefully. “I’m going to miss the city, when I go to Bologna.”

“Will you though?” Matthew countered, and of course he would be able to call her out on it. He was her confidante throughout her stay at the shelter, and he always seemed to know when she wasn’t being particularly truthful about her feelings. “You and I both know that this city has always been a temporary stop for you, a place to return to when you need a familiar scene to heal.”

“What am I healing from now?” Sophia asked, raising one of her eyebrows a little. When she had gone off to New York City for her schooling, the woman had been adamant that she would never return to Indianapolis. Just a year past graduating, however, and she was standing right back where she started.

“I think you know the answer to that one better than anyone else,” Matthew returned simply, giving her that knowing look.

“Care to give me a hint?” Sophia tried again, seeing one of the head people from the shelter stepping up to the podium at the front of the room. It would be time for Sophia to give her speech then, and would likely be the last she spoke to Matthew for a while. She knew after the speech that she would have to talk to all of the donors and potential donors.

“You still haven’t faced your past, not fully. Until you do, you will never heal,” Matthew spoke gently.

“I’m not ready,” Sophia breathed out immediately, shaking her head. The woman hadn’t dared to linger on the memories of what had happened to her at seventeen. It just hurt too much, even considering the idea.

“You will be. Italy will be good for you, Sophia.”

“How do you know?” Sophia pressed then, hearing the woman at the front of the room start to introduce her. She would have to go now, but not without getting the answers she needed first.

“Have faith in yourself, Sophia. A fresh start can help you.” Then the woman was calling Sophia up to the stage, pulling her from the conversation that she never wanted to end.

In the end, Sophia would just have to trust that Matthew knew what he was talking about. Though, she supposed she should listen to a priest in matters such as faith.

* * *

**July 2025 - Joe**

Joe couldn’t remember the last time they were in Bologna. They didn’t have a safe house remotely near; the closest was outside of Rome at least 2 hours away. Though it wasn’t as massive a city as many others he had seen, Joe was surprised by how populous it had become since he’d last seen it. The streets were small and tight, people and bikes weaving expertly through them.

Copley had sent an address to where Sophia was currently staying, and Joe tried not to think of how they would have to explain how they found her. Hopefully, she wouldn’t think to ask because it was definitely strange. She was staying within the walls of the city so was in one of the flat buildings tightly packing the city streets. They’d found hers with relative ease; a coral-colored building that was clearly built long ago.

Nicky was grabbing the handle of the front door when Joe stopped up, resting a hand on the other man’s broad shoulder. He could see the confusion in Nicky’s eyes; they had both spent most of the trip talking about seeing Sophia again. They both had been blown away by how well she’d done for herself.

Still, there had been a seed of doubt growing in Joe since they formed their plan. It made him panicked now, suddenly faced with the decision they had to make. “What if-” Joe stopped himself, trying to find the right way to voice his concern without hurting Nicolo. “What if we shouldn’t be doing this?”

“Why do you think that?” Nicky asked back after a moment, guiding them away from the front door so as to not block the entrance. 

“We would have to tell her soon. Everything,” Joe spoke quickly, hoping Nicky would understand his worry. It wasn’t often the pair weren’t able to see through each other, and this time was no different.

“Joe, we were always going to,” Nicky returned, taking Joe’s hand and bringing it up to kiss gently. “That’s not what you’re worried about.”

“We could be putting her in danger. As long as we’re still taking missions then she could be traced back to us and-”

“ _Yusuf_.”

“There are so many ways this could go wrong,” Joe admitted, letting out a sigh as if this was a huge admission from him. “She could be angry at us, for finding her and forcing our way back into her life. What if we just remind her of her past? She could have gotten over everything by now and we would only bring it all back. She may not care to see us.”

Nicky shook his head and for a moment Joe thought that would be the only response he would get. He should have known the other man better, though, for he could see in those sea glass eyes that he was trying to piece together the right words.

“It could happen,” Nicky finally spoke, though the words did nothing to ease Joe’s worries. It was practical though, and Nicky was nothing if not rational even in the worst situations. “You heard her speak of us in those videos, yes? I believe she would very much want to see us. If she doesn’t, then we leave, we go back to Malta. That wouldn’t be the worst ending, would it?”

“No, it wouldn’t,” Joe conceded. That settled it then; there was no more stalling in inevitable. After five years, they had found the missing girl in _Italy_ of all places.

Their decision didn’t even matter though, for as soon as they crossed back to the front door of the building, it flung open and a young woman nearly ran right into them. Her eyes grew wide and her hands waved in front of her as she clearly panicked a little. “ _Oh, scusa, scusa! Mi dispiace_ ,” she stumbled.

Joe could see the moment of realization cross Sophia’s face as she realized who they were. She looked between them quickly, hand coming up to cover her mouth for only a moment before it dropped again. “Joe? Nicky?”

It was Nicky who found the words first, surprisingly. Joe was usually the one who had the right words to say. He had even planned for this moment on the trip there, thinking through in his mind what he would say to Sophia after five years of not knowing if she was even safe. Looking at her though, all of those practiced words slipped away from him. Sophia was truly a beautiful young woman, though he supposed he may have been biased. She was clearly heading somewhere, but it must have been a casual trip. Her lavender hair was pulled up into a very messy bun that just seemed to work for her, sunglasses that were once over her eyes now pulled up to rest at her hairline. She wore a sundress and heels, leaving Joe to wonder when she got so confident; when she lived with them, it had always been loose-fitting shirts and jeans, shoulders curled inward to hide herself. It was no wonder Joe hadn’t immediately recognized her in that video; she had truly grown up.

“Your Italian is much better,” Nicky told Sophia in that same language, smiling with more care than Joe had seen him give most people.

“It’s still not perfect, but I’ve been living here since February so I had to learn,” Sophia laughed, a little breathlessly as tears started filling up her eyes. The emotion was clearly affecting her, as she switched to English to find the words then. “I can’t-I didn’t think I’d see you guys again.”

“We thought the same,” Joe finally spoke, willing himself not to match the tears in Sophia’s eyes. It was a failed attempt, however, as it was that moment that Sophia decided to fling herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around him in a hug. Joe clung back to her just as tightly, taking in a breath that sounded a little wet from the tears he wasn’t willing to admit were there just yet. “We looked for you, we did, but we couldn’t find you. Not until those videos online.”

Sophia let out a wet laugh then, pulling back from Joe only to give Nicky a matching hug. Joe watched as his husband clung to the girl, one hand on the back of her head to mimic the comforting hug he’d always given her after those awful nightmares so many years before. “Yeah, I made it a little hard to find me. I looked for you, too, once I got to culinary school. I couldn’t ever find you.”

“We’re here now, _cara_ ,” Nicky told her then.

Once the pair untangled themselves, Sophia took a moment to wipe under her eyes carefully, probably trying her best not to mess up the makeup Joe could see there. “Please, please come in. I can show you my apartment, we can-we can catch up?”

“Were you going somewhere? We can come back later, if you have somewhere you need to be,” Joe offered, though he could already feel the fear of leaving her behind again bubble up in him, as though stepping away now would mean never seeing her again.

“No, that can wait. I was just going to one of the markets here. I really want to talk to you guys instead,” Sophia spoke quickly, pulling a laugh from Joe as she fumbled to get the door to the building open again. She led them up a couple of flights of stairs to the third floor then down the hall to the last door on the left.

Of course, before they could actually get into her apartment, the door next to hers opened to reveal an older lady.

“ _Buongiorno, Signora Bianchi_ ,” Sophia greeted the woman, who only made a small clicking noise and shook her head.

“Please, you know it’s only Milana to you,” the woman laughed, fixing her with such a stare that even Joe was convinced to listen to her. “Are you just trying to show off for your boyfriends here?”

Sophia seemed to think over the translation in her head for a moment, though quite literally spluttered as she realized what her neighbor had said. “Signora, no, no it’s not like that.”

“Whatever you say, dear. If I had two men who looked like that showing up at my home, I would show off too,” the woman winked before heading down the hallway to exit the building.

By the time Sophia finally got her front door open, her tanned cheeks were a brilliant shade of red. Joe couldn’t help but laugh at the embarrassment the woman had brought her, though it did unknowingly hit at one of their fears exactly. He could only hope that Sophia didn’t notice how young they looked. After all, he and Nicky weren’t much older than she was now at their first deaths. She would soon surpass them in age, and still they wouldn’t change in appearance. Joe couldn’t worry about that now though, not when they just got her back. There would be plenty of time later to worry about that. _Not enough time as you would like_ , a voice reminded him in the back of his mind.

“You have nice neighbors,” Joe teased, laughing once again as Sophia covered half of her face with one hand.

“Milana’s been so helpful in getting me set up here,” Sophia finally spoke, almost immediately slipping into the kitchen. It took a moment, but Joe realized she was finding three cups so she could make coffee for all of them. “I was a bit lost at first. I moved here without planning it all out. All I had was the job. I couldn’t even speak Italian. She refused to speak to me in anything but, so I learned quickly.”

“You’re a chef,” Nicky noted, leaning against one of the counters in the tightly-packed kitchen space Joe recognized from the videos. The kitchen was small and connected to the living space, a small little table that would serve as a dining table sitting between the two spaces. Joe was grateful their Sophia had someone like Milana helping her get used to being in a new country, especially if Sophia hadn’t made any plans for what she would do upon her arrival there.

“I am,” Sophia confirmed, a bright smile taking over her expression then, “I went to culinary school in New York. I found a job working in the city and it was kind of lucky, but I ended up cooking for a well-known chef. He has a restaurant here in Bologna and offered me a job to cook under him if I made the trip. Two months later and I showed up here.”

“I’m so proud of you, Sophia, that’s amazing,” Joe spoke gently, and the words literally lit up Sophia’s expression. He would tell her every day that he was proud of her if she would look that happy each time.

“Thanks, I...I’m proud of me too. It took a lot to get here, but I really love it here. I think I want to stay near Bologna,” Sophia admitted, then shrugged her shoulders and looked between the two of them again. “Where have you guys been? I tried finding you, but there was literally no trace of you. It was like you two never existed or something.”

Joe and Nicky shared a look then, as if to say, _you have no idea, kid._ “Well,” Joe started slowly, already trying his best to come up with a good explanation, “We got out of the country fast, after what happened. We’ve mostly been travelling the world.”

“Are you with Andy and Nile?”

Joe couldn’t help the smile at that one. “Yes, and our other friends Quynh and Booker. I’m sure you’ll meet them eventually. They’re not with us now, but Nile mentioned wanting to see you again.”

“I really missed you guys,” Sophia spoke up. “I didn’t really realize until I left all of the small things I loved about being a part of your family.”

“We missed you too, more than you could know,” Joe told her then, gripping the mug of coffee tighter in his hands. He was an artist; when his emotions swelled up in him and made it difficult to think, he could always use his hands. He had dozens of sketchbooks in each of their safe houses, scattered about the rooms for when he needed another way to process his thoughts. There were no sketchbooks here, that much Joe would know. He vividly remembered the day when Sophia had asked him to teach her to draw. It had been a wonderful experience but at the end of it all, she had resigned herself to being able to draw little more than stick figures. _“I think I’ll stick to writing from now on,”_ she had laughed.

“So, um, how long are you in Bologna?” Sophia asked and after five years Joe still recognized that expression in her eyes. She was nervous about the answer, maybe even nervous about asking. The girl had always been so cautious and Joe had assumed it had been a part of her recent trauma, though Joe wondered now if she was just a careful person, never wanting to hurt another on purpose.

“For however long you would have us,” Nicky answered before Joe could, giving Joe the time to watch Sophia’s expression change. It remained guarded at first, and then her eyes lit up and a small, cautious smile began to pull at her lips.

“You’re serious? You would stay?” she asked and for a moment Joe thought that she was still that seventeen-year-old girl they’d taken in, needing love but scared to ask for it.

“Of course. We just found you, we wouldn’t let go that easily unless you wanted it to be so,” Joe reassured her with a small nod of his head.

Sophia let out a noise then, something akin to a laugh and a sob in one. She allowed one of her hands to cover her mouth as she considered how her life had changed then. Joe couldn’t stop looking at her, marvelling at how much five years had changed her.

“I have so much to tell you,” she said then, voice wet with more tears that remained unshed in her eyes.

“We have all the time in the world, Sophia,” Joe answered, and he would deny any mention of the tears that wet his own smile.

* * *

They stayed for another year in Bologna without incident. He and Nicky found a little villa not far outside the walls of the city in the hills. They visited Sophia often, and had her over even more often. It was truly breathtaking how quickly she slotted right back into their lives, as though she had never even left at all.

Sophia still loved to cook for them, though now she needed little instruction from either of them (but would perhaps take more of their advice than she actually needed, Joe guessed). Sometimes she would come straight to their home after a shift at the restaurant, still dressed in her chef’s coat and apron, and walked directly to the kitchen.

“You don’t have to cook for us, _cara_ ,” Nicky had tried to tell her one evening as she went on a rant about how stressful it could be working under a top chef.

“I want to,” Sophia brushed him off easily, “Now shoo, you’re crowding the kitchen.”

The expression on Nicky’s face was enough to make Joe practically fall out of his chair at the kitchen island. He was in tears laughing at the stunned and wide-eyed look Nicky now wore. The other man simply huffed and shook his head at Joe, murmuring something in Italian about children.

“Oh, I truly did miss you, Sophia,” Joe spoke through his laughter as his husband pouted beside him.

Andy and Quynh had even visited a few months after they got settled in Bologna. Andy had been stunned by the fierce hug Sophia had rushed forward to give her. Quynh and Sophia seemed a little unsure of one another, and Joe was ashamed to admit that he had no idea what either of them were thinking when it came to one another. He only had to assume that it would take both of them time. Quynh was weary of anyone who got too close to her family, especially now after her oceanic prison. It had taken her ages to warm up to Nile, but now Joe knew when they all reunited for good that those two would be an unstoppable force.

“You weren’t with them, before,” Sophia pointed out, glancing a little nervously to Joe. That was when he felt his heart sink in his chest. How could they possibly explain any of it to her? He immediately glanced to Quynh, checking that she was alright and instead only seeing a carefully schooled neutral expression on her face. There was no reading Quynh when she didn’t want to be seen.

“This is Quynh,” Andy took charge then, speaking with as much softness as Joe had ever heard from her before, “The woman I told you about.”

Joe couldn’t help but glance to Nicky then, wondering if he had been aware of this. The shocked expression on his face as the man watched Andy and Sophia was answer enough. The Andy they had known before Quynh’s freedom hardly spoke of the other woman. It had hurt too much, Joe knew, for Andy to linger on memories of the woman who was forever just out of reach to her. He never would have imagined Andy telling their story to a mortal child that she had only known for a couple weeks.

“I thought you said she was gone,” Sophia spoke in such a quiet tone that Joe held his breath so he wouldn’t miss a word. It was clear she was surprised, watching Quynh as though she were a ghost.

“She was lost to us, yeah,” Andy continued, “But she came back, as all lost ones do.”

The two women didn’t stay for long, too pressed by Andy’s limited time. Within a month, they were gone and Sophia was admitting that she already missed them. It still startled Joe that Andy was so good with Sophia, though he never dared ask. The woman had always seemed so stand-offish from children they’d come across over the years, almost as though she were scared of them. Not Sophia though, not since that first day. 

It was August of the following year when it happened. Sophia had insisted on showing Joe one of the night markets in town. It was a tradition that occurred only once every couple of years under the final full moon of summer. The main square was full of vendors and stalls, people speaking rushed Italian in clear attempts at bartering. It was a scene that took Joe back to the days assisting his father at some of their own stalls around the Mediteranean.

Sophia had stepped away for only a moment. Joe had been standing at a stall run by an older woman who was selling art supplies. They were clearly handcrafted with such care that Joe knew he would return home with some. Sophia had teased him, wondering how long he could stare at paintbrushes. The young woman told him she was going back to one of the food stalls; she had seen some of the freshest tomatoes that she just had to cook with.

It had only been a couple of minutes, Joe tried to reason with himself as he pushed through the crowds. He couldn’t find that shock of lavender hair anywhere in the crowd. He had even gone back to that stand she spoke of, though the merchant had told him she hadn’t made it back there.

That was when Joe went into a near panic. He considered calling Nicky, though how could he possibly break the news that he had lost Sophia once again? Then came the frustration. He should have insisted that Nicky go with them, even though he knew the other man didn’t feel comfortable in the tight crowds of markets. Joe knew it reminded him too much of the early days in their travel, when Nicky couldn’t stray from Joe’s side in those markets without fear of being attacked for being one of the invaders of that land. Joe knew he would have never forced Nicky to go with them now, but longer for any kind of help in finding Sophia.

“Please, please you can have my bag, please just don’t-” a frightened voice was practically shouting not far from Joe. He heard the familiar voice slip between Italian and English as she panicked. She had been doing so well to learn the other language, enough that she could get by living in the city comfortably enough, but she was by no means perfectly fluent. Joe wondered for only a second if Sophia even realized she was switching languages almost every word. It reminded him of the language he spoke with Nicky when they were alone; a strange mix of Arabic and Zeneize in forms that only those two knew anymore.

Joe felt his blood run cold at the shout that came from Sophia then, only preceded by the harsh sound of a fist meeting skin.

It took no time for him to find her then. She was in one of the tight alleys just off from the market though not so far away to excuse the lack of help she was receiving. Her hair was falling out of the messy bun on one side, and Joe wondered with a flash of anger if the three men crowding her had dragged her by that hair. Sophia was pressed back against the side of one building, body hunched over and hand holding the side of her face. Her other hand was out in front of her, palm out as she tried to keep the men at a distance from her. They were laughing, taunting her with words Joe was sure she hadn’t learned to translate yet.

“Get away from her!” Joe shouted then as their intentions became clear, jumping into action at the sight of blood dripping from the corner of Sophia’s mouth. It was three versus one, but Joe had several centuries of fighting experience on them. It was going well, and was clear that Joe would easily be able to beat them.

Two of the men had already run away, and Joe was loath to admit later that he’d let his confidence blind him. He had heard Sophia shout something, but he hadn’t processed it in time to miss the pocket knife that was shoved into his right side. The other man looked panicked, as though he hadn’t expected to actually stab him, and took off down the alley.

Sophia was screaming then, as Joe dropped to the ground. He grunted as he pulled the knife from his side, only briefly mourning the loss of this shirt; it was one of his favorites, one he never wore when he expected to be stabbed or shot. “No, no, no, Joe, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry,” Sophia was panicking then, dropping to her knees so harshly it pulled an audible wince from Joe. He would heal quickly, but he knew her knees would ache for days after.

He would heal. Joe’s eyes widened impossibly further as he realized what Sophia would see. He tried to move away from her then, but it was too late. Her hands had already found where the wound was, pulling up the shirt only to see the skin just finishing stitching itself back together. Joe didn’t dare look at her then, only feeling her shaking fingertips brush over where the knife had just sat in his skin. 

“Joe, I don’t-I-what’s happening? He _stabbed_ you, why isn’t there, why, what?” Sophia was panicking now, fingers wiping uselessly at the blood smeared across his lower abdomen. It was only then that he was able to meet her gaze, seeing how much fear and confusion was hidden there.

He and Nicky wanted to have this conversation a few years in the future, on their own terms. They would carefully sit her down, make her favorite comfort food, and explain to her why they weren’t growing older. Instead, Sophia had to watch him get stabbed in a Bolognese alley.

Joe sat up quickly then, taking her now blood-stained hands tight in his own. He recovered far quicker from the knife than he cared to think about, knowing just how many times he had been stabbed since Nicky had done it himself that first time in Jerusalem. “Sophia, I will explain everything to you, but we have to get back home first,” he told her, trying to keep his voice even as he faced her panic.

“No, no, you need a hospital. Joe, you just got stabbed,” Sophia pleaded with him, squeezing his hands back just as tight. “We’ll get you to a hospital and I can call Nicky and, oh God we have to tell Nicky you got stabbed, _oh fuck,_ I do-”

“Sophia, please, look at me,” Joe tried again, dropping her hands so he could place his on either of her cheeks. He winced a little at the way it only spread his blood across her skin, marring it in a way he hoped to never see. She was innocent, a pure life that they got too entangled in. She didn’t deserve to have to see any such violence. “Sophia, I’m alright. I’m okay. You saw yourself, there’s no wound, I’m okay,” he tried telling her, pulling her into a close embrace when all the woman could do was let out a mangled sob about having to tell Nicky.

“He’s gonna be so mad at me, Joe,” she sobbed into his shoulder.

“Why is that? How could Nicolo ever be mad at you?” Joe asked, voice lighter with a little amusement at her worries. “I don’t think there is anything you could do to anger him.”

“How about getting you stabbed?” Sophia shouted, her body wracking with another wave of cries.

“Sophia, I promise you that he’s used to it.” They seemed like the right words at the time. Around any of their immortal family, the phrase would have caused a long round of laughter. This was Sophia though, their Sophia who once last week cried because the stray cat she was feeding had fallen asleep in her lap.

“What?” she gasped, ripping herself from his grasp to stare at him in horror. “What do you mean? I don’t- I don’t unders-” she fumbled over her words, panic rising in her again.

“Sophia, Sophia, please. Let us return home,” Joe pleaded again, already weary of the couple of people beginning to eye them from the market at the end of the alley. “Let me explain there.”

Finally, after a few agonizing seconds, Sophia nodded wordlessly. He helped her stand, practically gathering her in his arms as he guided her back in the direction of his and Nicky’s home.

They had a lot of explaining to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah, please let me know what you think! sorry if the jumping around was confusing. the sophia flashbacks were scenes I had wanted to include in the last chapter, but I just felt like it would fit better here especially when the last chapter got too long (though this one ended up at 11k oops).


	6. August 2026 - Nicky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, everyone! thanks so much for the amazing response to the last chapter, I really appreciated it. this was originally only meant to be five chapters and like quick snippets in time, but I can't stop writing so the chapter count has officially increased again. oops.
> 
> warnings for this chapter:  
> mentions of homelessness  
> mentions of physical assault  
> they talk about the crusades and everything that entailed

Joe returning with blood on him was, unfortunately, not all surprising. They all had habits of getting into dangerous situations while between jobs, often stating that they always had a responsibility to help those in need. It only surprised Nicky when he realized Joe had been spending the night at a market with Sophia. Sophia, who was now staring ahead of her but unseeing. She had so much blood on her cheeks but he could tell from where he stood in front of the couch that there were no injuries lying underneath. She had a split lip but was otherwise uninjured.

That meant the blood came from Joe. Nicky bolted over immediately, hands immediately at Joe’s hips as he tried to find the source of the blood. The fear of one of them not healing was always in the back of Nicky’s mind, especially now that it had happened to Andy. He knew, though, that Joe wouldn’t be standing up perfectly like this if he was hurt. Eventually, he found the rip in Joe’s shirt over his right side, letting out a breath of relief when he saw only perfectly smooth skin stained with blood. They could wash away the blood no problem, they could fix that.

“What happened?” Nicky finally asked, looking between Joe and Sophia, unsure of who was in the best state to answer. Sophia was still shell-shocked it seemed, and Joe was looking down, hardly able to meet his gaze.

Once again, surprise ran through Nicky as it was not Joe who spoke first. Sophia’s voice was shaky and low, a little too numb to be okay as she explained what happened. “We were at the market and I decided to split up for a minute, only a minute I swear. I-I...there were these guys and they were threatening me and then Joe was there and I-” Sophia explained, growing more panicked and rushed at the end before bursting into tears, “I’m so sorry, Nicky.”

Those words were a cruel reminder of how easily this young woman could shatter his heart. Nicky drew her forward out of Joe’s arms and into his own, squeezing her as tightly as he could manage. Looking over the woman’s shoulder, he nodded at Joe, as if to tell him that she would be safe while he got changed. He knew how much Joe hated to linger in clothes that were sticky with old blood. After jobs, they usually let Joe be the first one to the shower simply because of how he would scratch all day at where the blood had been allowed to dry.

“Oh,  _ cara _ , it’s not your fault, I swear to you,” Nicky told her gently, his own face twisted with the hurt building in his chest at her tears. This only served to remind him of how breakable Sophia was compared to them, how easy it would be to lose her.

“He got hurt because of me, he got really hurt and I thought...I thought he was gonna...he shouldn’t be okay right now,” Sophia managed to get out after a couple of tries, clinging to Nicky’s shirt tightly. He understood what she had no words to say then: she thought Joe was going to die protecting her. Of course, though, he didn’t because that’s the name of their game.

It was time, then, to explain it all to her. Nicky found himself holding Sophia even closer, wondering if this was the last time he would see her. Would she run away from them after this, horrified at the knowledge of what they were? They tried not to tell any regular people if they could manage it, knowing that humans had a tendency to be cruel toward those that were deemed ‘other’. The last time someone knew about their group served as a bitter reminder of the cruelty of people. Sophia was nothing like Merrick or Keane, though, Nicky had to remind himself. She would be confused, and maybe wouldn’t even believe them, but she would never be cruel.

Joe didn’t take long to clear the blood away from himself and get changed. As soon as he was back, Nicky let go of Sophia. “Okay,  _ cara _ , you can go wash up, get changed. We’ll explain everything when you’re done.”

“No,” Sophia immediately told Nicky, “No, that can wait. I need, I need to know now.”

“You would feel better if you could just get off some of the...” Nicky trailed off, one hand gesturing to the red swipes on her tanned cheeks. Though she was responding to him, the young woman still had a faraway look in her eyes that grew worse when she looked at her stained hands.

“Blood?” Sophia finished for him, laughing a little and running her hands through her destroyed bun, swiping some of the red through there too. “Blood from the stab wound that magically disappeared? No, I need some explanations first because I really feel crazy right now.”

Joe nodded then, letting out a breath and reaching out to take her hands. Nicky didn’t miss the way he winced when she flinched, jerking her hands away from his. Sophia’s lower lip was quivering now as she stared at Joe, looking almost _ scared _ , and Nicky would be damned if she were ever scared of either of them. He hadn’t imagined that possibility, that she would be scared of them because of what they were. How could they get past that?

“You’re not crazy, Sophia, I promise,” Joe told her then, taking another step back and putting his hands up quickly as if to say she was safe with them. It was a move they had done a lot when she was a teenager, when any quick movement was deemed dangerous in her mind. It reminded Nicky of the way one would approach a wild horse. “What you saw actually happened. Nicky and I, we heal from injuries faster than most people. We heal from injuries that would be fatal to people.”

“We don’t age either,” Nicky continued when Sophia didn’t say anything, “Andy, Quynh, Nile, they’re all like us.”

“I don’t-I-I,” Sophia tried at first, hands digging harshly into her hair. “How-How?  _ How? _ ”

“We don’t know,” Joe admitted, shrugging his shoulders a little. “We all lived normally for years. One day, we died and then woke up again. From that moment forward we didn’t age and our injuries kept healing. There’s no pattern to when it starts or why.”

“You can still die?”

“In a way,” Nicky tried again, “We come back, though, when the injuries heal. It usually takes a minute or two, but we come back.”  _ Until the day we don’t. _

“You said you don’t age,” Sophia tried, eyes trained on the ground just in front of her. “So how...how old are you guys?”

Nicky laughed a little at the wording. “Quite old,” he answered, though at her quick look he knew she would want more. “Joe and I, we died and rose again at the same time. We met during the Crusades, what you would call the first.”

Sophia’s eyes widened, eyebrows skyrocketing on her head and mouth parting in shock. If this wasn’t such a serious situation, Nicky might have laughed at the expression he managed to pull from her. “The Crusades? Are you kidding? Wasn’t that, like, in medieval times?”

“Yes, it was.”

“Holy shit, you’re old.”

Joe let out a laugh then, a real one that even made Nicky smile. He supposed if she was making little comments like that one then she wasn’t too upset with them. They could get past this.

“Are the others from the medieval times too?” Sophia asked then, wrapping her arms around her middle in what Nicky recognized as a protective or comforting stance.

“You can ask them about their stories yourself, but Andy and Quynh are much older than us. Booker, you haven’t met him, died fighting with Napoleon. Nile just joined us, a year before we met you,” Joe explained again.

That was the first time Sophia looked either of them in the eye since being told the truth. She picked up her head, watching first Joe and then Nicky for a few seconds before sighing. “Wouldn’t it get really lonely? Outliving everyone else?”

Nicky winced a little at the mention, knowing that in the distant future that would apply to outliving  _ her _ too. “It can be,” Nicky admitted then, “But we are a family. We always have each other. It helps.”

“Right. A family of a bunch of immortal warrior people.”

“Exactly,” Nicky answered with a smile.

“So, uh, I don’t know that much about history but...you didn’t meet on the same side of the Crusades, did you?” Sophia asked carefully, pointing between him and Joe.

Nicky couldn’t help but look to Joe then, feeling a small smile lifting his lips. “No, we didn’t. We actually fought against each other several times before we realized both of us were cheating death.”

“Wow, the ultimate enemies to lovers, huh,” Sophia murmured, though as soon as she said it her cheeks went bright red.

“Yes?” Nicky returned, a little confused about the wording but could only assume it was a modern phrase he wasn’t familiar with. It would have to go on the list of things he would ask Nile about later.

“How did you get past that?” Sophia asked in a small voice, looking mostly at Joe. Of course, she would have heard of the atrocities that had been committed during that time. Nicky winced but otherwise didn’t answer, knowing the question wasn’t meant for him.

“My Nicolò was not born with hate in his heart,” Joe explained, not looking at Sophia but seeming to stare right into Nicky’s soul. “He was raised to believe that sort of thing, yes, but he overcame it. He is not that man, and he hasn’t been for nine hundred years.”

“Right, yeah. I just, it’s hard to imagine...” Sophia trailed off, looking at Nicky as though she was terrified of hurting him. She couldn’t have known but they’d had this conversation plenty of times, each time they brought in a new immortal they had to explain. At first, it had plagued Nicky with guilt, sent him into a spiral of negative thoughts for days as he thought about what he had been a part of, but he’d had centuries to come to terms with that part of his history. “You’re like the kindest person I’ve ever met.”

“I could not know such kindness without first knowing hate,” Nicky admitted, “I have tried to make up for those years by being kinder to others.”

“Right,” Sophia breathed, both hands covering her face for a moment before she relaxed her stance a little more.

“Okay, next question. The medieval times were a long time ago,” Sophia stated, then paused for long enough that Nicky wondered if that was the question. “So, how do you pass the time without getting bored all the time? Do you usually adopt weird kids you meet in college lecture halls?”

Another laugh was pulled from Joe then, who shook his head and rubbed at his face once with his hand before answering. “No, I can admit you’re the first kid we ever tried to adopt,” he told her sincerely. “We try to help where we can. We pick the causes we think are right and we help fight for them.”

“Right, immortal warrior family. Got it,” Sophia nodded once. “I’m sorry, this is a lot to take in. My head hurts trying to wrap my head around it all.”

“Take your time, you don’t have to be perfectly okay with this immediately,” Nicky told her honestly. “We can take you home if you want. You can get some rest and have as much time as you need to process this.”

“No, I wanna stay here tonight, if that’s okay,” Sophia answered, sighing, “I  _ am _ really tired though. I might just clean up and go to bed?”

“Of course,  _ cara _ . Let us know if you need anything,” Nicky told her, watching carefully as she walked by them and down the hallway to her room there. She looked back once, saying a quick, “Joe? I’m really glad you’re okay,” before turning back around. Once the door shut behind her, Nicky sighed, allowing his shoulders to relax from their tensed state.

“Yusuf,” Nicky breathed, closing the space between them. He wrapped his arms around Joe’s waist so his clasped hands rested on the small of his back. 

“I think that went well, all things considering,” Joe spoke just as softly, wrapping his own arms around Nicky in the way that immediately made him feel safe and warm.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” Nicky finally spoke after a couple of minutes of silence between them, “You shouldn’t have had to deal with that alone.”

“We couldn’t have known what would happen,  _ habibi _ ,” Joe returned, “I wish she didn’t have to find out in the way she did, but there’s nothing we can do about that now. We can only be there for her.”

“If she lets us.”

“She will, Nicolò, she always has.”

* * *

That night, Nicky couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t sure why, either. Since even before his first death he had struggled to get to sleep some nights, though by now there was usually a clear reason for his insomnia. Perhaps it had been the mention of the Crusades, which he knew was the reason for Joe’s tighter grip on him that night. It had taken the two of them years to get past the siege of Jerusalem. Nicky still remembered those years of traveling together because they only had each other, but not fully trusting one another either. Nicky had been desperate to learn Arabic to not be so dependent on Joe, but at the time Joe could hardly speak two words to him without reminding him of how much hatred and pain Nicky had flung against his people. It had felt for years as though Nicky would never be forgiven for his time in that battle.

That was when he still sorely underestimated Joe’s kindness, though. Nicky still remembered that night vividly, as though it had only happened a month ago rather than centuries. Nicky had been sitting awake by the fire, taking the first watch so Joe could get some sleep. He had thought he was alone with his thoughts, but soon Joe was speaking low and with so much sincerity the words ached as they hit Nicky’s chest.  _ “You always give the last of your water or rations to the children and mothers we pass in the street. You would rather throw yourself into a fatal strike than have my blood spilled, even when it would not have killed me. You are trying, Nicolò, I see that. The hatred you once had does not define you, your kindness does.” _

Everything had been different then. So no, it was not the mention of Nicky’s dark history that kept him awake that night, even when Joe thought it might have been. He didn’t know why, there was no explanation.

That question was answered when he heard the mangled cry being ripped from Sophia’s throat. Nicky flung himself from bed with such force it shocked even Joe into awareness. “What is it?” Joe asked, voice groggy with sleep but concerned all the same.

“Sophia’s had a nightmare,” Nicky whispered, brushing his hand over some of Joe’s curls that had fallen across his forehead. “Go back to sleep, love.” That seemed to be permission enough, as moments later Nicky could hear the rhythmic breathing of Joe’s sleep.

Nicky hadn’t heard that cry from Sophia in years but he recognized it all the same. It was the one that told him it would be a bad night, the kind where she wouldn’t want to talk about what she dreamt. The girl had told him one morning that those dreams were always the most vivid, and sometimes scared her even more than the real event had.

He padded out to the hallway, watching her closed bedroom door for only a moment before falling back into the pattern they’d created all those years ago. He leaned against the door, sliding slowly down to the ground. His knees were up, arms draped over them, and he allowed his head to lean back against the door with a small ‘thud’.

Nicky didn’t hear anything from the other side of the door for a long time, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t there. He could imagine Sophia on the other side of the door, matching the way he sat. Sometimes they would sit like this for five minutes, and others it would take hours for her to shuffle back into bed. He wouldn’t leave until he could hear the soft snoring coming from her. Even then, Nicky often ended up sitting watch outside of her room for hours after she slept, as though his guard might keep the nightmares away from her.

“When I first left, I couldn’t find a shelter to take me in. I had to live on the streets for a couple of weeks.” Sophia’s voice was coarse from the screaming and from sleep, muffled slightly through the door. Nicky didn’t say anything, knowing better than to interrupt her thoughts after that kind of nightmare. His heart ached for the girl though, wondering what happened tonight that reminded her of that time alone. They had heard from Copley that she hadn’t been recorded at a shelter until the end of January, but Nicky didn’t process what exactly that meant for her until right then.

“It was cold, it was so cold that we knew if we didn’t huddle together a couple of us likely wouldn’t make it through the night. There were these guys, six of them. They looked like college guys or something. These guys, they...they attacked us one night for entertainment. We were all just trying to sleep, but they kept hitting us and one of them took my bag and my coat, everything I had left was taken,” Sophia explained, breaking Nicky’s heart into smaller pieces with every word. “I’d never felt less human than when I was beaten for sport. That was six years ago, though, and I’d stopped dreaming about it for so long. Tonight though, after those guys cornered me...”

“You were reminded,” Nicky finished after a few minutes of pure silence. There was no verbal reply, but a soft scratching noise on the door told him that Sophia was nodding her head. “After the attack on Jerusalem, Joe and I traveled together. I didn’t belong in those lands, not when I had the face and sword of an invader. I was mostly safe if I stuck with Joe, but if I ever strayed...I understand what you mean, about being beaten for sport. It takes something away from you that you never knew could be lost.”

“Does it ever come back?” Sophia asked, and her voice was so small it hurt.

There was no easy answer. “In time,” Nicky finally spoke.

“A lifetime? Or more?”

“There’s no one timeline for recovery, Sophia,” Nicky answered, and the groan that followed was the loudest sound he heard from her since that scream.

“God, you sound like my therapist.”

“Your therapist must be very intelligent then.”

“She’s so smart she’s annoying,” Sophia countered quickly, letting out a huff of breath that had Nicky chuckling.

“Is that your way of saying I’m annoying?”

“It’s my way of saying thank you. For still doing this, for being here.”

“I will always be here,  _ cara _ , always.” If there was one thing that she remembered forever, Nicky hoped that would be it. That no matter what happened, he and Joe would always be there to help her. He never wanted her to know that kind of hurt ever again, not if they could help it.

“The day I left, Joe had called me your daughter,” Sophia sighed. “I know you guys didn’t raise me, and I know I left before you guys could really see the good parts of having a kid, but do you still....am I still...?” Sophia didn’t finish, but she didn’t have to.

“Sophia, you will always be our daughter. Nothing could ever change that or take that away from you,” Nicky told her honestly, not missing the little hiccup and subsequent sniffling. “You did not get the start to life that you deserved. I wish there was a way to take all that hurt from you, but all I can do is promise that for as long as you live, as long as we live, you will always be family. We will do anything in our power to make sure you don’t get hurt again.”

“Can you stay? I don’t want to go to sleep yet,” Sophia asked softly.

“Of course,  _ cara _ , I’m not leaving you, never again.”

* * *

Typically Nicky was the first one awake. That morning, however, he awoke to the sounds of shouting and laughter in the kitchen.

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, recognizing both voices but not being able to tell what either of them were saying. He pulled a shirt and sweatpants on quickly, padding out into the kitchen to see Sophia standing with her back to the stove, pointing a wooden spoon threateningly at Joe, who was sitting at the kitchen island with a cup of tea and a ridiculously amused look on his face.

“I can’t even believe you right now!” Sophia shouted, though there was no malice in her words. “Who would even do something like that?”

“An immortal professor with an ego?” Joe suggested, laughing harder as Sophia loud out a frustrated yell and turned to face the stove.

“What have you done to the poor girl?” Nicky asked his husband as he sat down, a mug of coffee already waiting at the seat.

“I was just explaining that she might have read a poem or two of mine,” Joe laughed.

“Read a poem or two,” Sophia repeated with much more sass in the tone, shaking her head, and Nicky could practically see her roll her eyes from there. “You made me analyze them in class! That’s the only reason you liked me - I understood your sappy declaration of love for Nicky!”

“Precisely,” Joe stated, grinning widely at her. “You didn’t dare assume Nicolò and I were brothers.”

“I cannot believe that you’re Yusuf al-Kaysani,” Sophia sighed, dumping the omelet she had made onto a plate.

“You didn’t have to make breakfast for us,” Joe spoke again, eyes still alight from their conversation. They both knew Sophia’s personal hatred for breakfast, stating that she would never be hungry before noon and there was nothing anyone could do to change that.

“I didn’t. I made  _ Nicky _ some breakfast because he didn’t hide the fact that he was secretly one of my favorite poets wearing Clark Kent glasses.”

“ _ Grazie, cara _ ,” Nicky spoke back to her, ignoring Joe’s dramatically wounded expression.

“What if I made it up to you by showing you some poems that were never discovered or printed?” Joe tried.

That made Sophia nearly drop the bowl she was using to whisk up a new set of eggs. “Seriously? You’re not joking?”

“Of course. I’m sure I can find a few after breakfast, though only if I had the energy to do it.”

“Fine. A truce it is,” Sophia conceded, turning back to focus on the stove again and whispering, “Yusuf al-Kaysani, I can’t believe it.”

Nicky had a few moments of silence to enjoy his coffee before Sophia whirled on him; spinning around with as much intensity as before and pointing that spoon at him too. “Do you have any secret aliases I need to know about?”

“No, though technically you only know us by aliases. That is Joe’s real name,” Nicky pointed out with a soft smile.

“ _ Fuck _ , you’re right. What’s your real name then? It can’t be Nicky Jones.”

“Nicolò di Genova.”

“You really couldn’t be any more Italian, could you?” Sophia’s comment made Joe startle, choking a little on his tea.

“You’re in an interesting mood today, Soph,” Nicky laughed then. She had absolutely opened up to them more in this year together, though he had to admit she wasn’t normally this quick on the sassy comments.

“I just found out my gay adoptive dads are immortal warriors, cut me a little slack,” Sophia returned quickly, to which Joe muttered a quick, “She has a point,  _ habibi _ .”

“See? I knew you were my favorite all along,” Sophia added, giving Joe a high five before joining them with the finished breakfast. “So what’s the plan for today?”

“We were going to leave that up to you,” Nicky explained. “If you wanted to stay here, you could ask what questions you have.”

“I have so many questions,  _ too many _ questions,” Sophia admitted.

“How about I show you those poems then,” Joe suggested, “I can show you what we have, and if you have any questions from that we could start there?”

Within minutes, Joe had finished his breakfast and now sat in the living room with Sophia. Various papers and books were scattered around them, reminding Nicky of the days he’d come home to Sophia studying and Joe working all on one table. Nicky mostly kept away, knowing Joe would appreciate that time with Sophia. He was content to sit at the kitchen island, glancing over just to see those bright grins from Joe and hear the amazed gasps from Sophia.

“Is this...this looks old, Joe,” Sophia spoke up at one point, picking up one work with gentle hands.

Joe laughed then, shaking his head. “It’s all old, Soph.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I stole that from Shakespeare’s house,” Joe bragged, and Nicky had to groan. Joe and Andy hadn’t stopped telling that story for years. “He actually had 155 sonnets.”

“You-Shakespeare. Like,  _ the _ Shakespeare.”

“He was a bit of an ass if you met him in person.”

“Joe!” Sophia shouted, laying down the paper with care and looking at him incredulously. “Why didn’t you lead with the fact that you have a missing sonnet from William Shakespeare?”

“I have other poems that I am much more fond of,” Joe told her simply.

Sophia let out a breath, running her hand through her hair with the same air as a parent trying not to lose her cool. “So, Shakespeare. Some say his sonnets were written for another man, who they call the Fair Youth. Is that...did Shakespeare really...?”

Joe laughed then and winked at her. “I would never dare ruin the mystery.”

“Joe! You have to tell me!” Sophia groaned, then turned to face Nicky for the first time in several minutes. “Nicky? Was Shakespeare gay?”

“I’m sorry, it was only Joe that met him. I couldn’t say,” Nicky answered, returning Joe’s conspiratorial smile.

When Nicky excused himself to step outside and call Nile, he could hear Sophia threatening, “I will lick every single one of the forks in this kitchen, I promise you,” to which Joe only laughed.

It was still warm outside, though Nicky could tell that summer was close to giving way to the chill of autumn. He settled himself just outside of the house, sitting on one of the hills to overlook the city. After everything that had happened the previous night, it only felt right to inform the rest of their family that Sophia knew their secret. He would start with the easiest one; Nile. Not only that, but she would likely be able to help Sophia understand in a way that they could not; she had just been through this a few years before. Nicky couldn’t scrub the scared expression on Sophia’s face from his mind as she told them what she’d seen. She had truly been scared of them for a moment, and that killed him more than anything else.

The phone only rang a couple of times before Nile’s cheerful voice filled his ear. “Hey, Nicky, what’s up?”

“Hello,” he returned, sometimes still amazed at how far communication has come. When he opened his mouth to tell her what happened, though, he found he couldn’t speak it. Instead, he huffed a little and instead asked, “You said Booker was taking you to another art museum. How was that?”

“It was great, as always,” Nile answered easily. He heard a bit of noise on the other end of the line, indicating that she was shifting in her seat. The woman often sat with her legs tucked up under her for so long that they often went numb, Nicky recalled. “We saw a painting there and it really looked like Andy for a second.”

“It likely was,” Nicky answered.

“No kidding?” When Nicky didn’t admit to anything being a joke, Nile breathed something about needing to call Andy later. It was good that Joe had found a kindred spirit in Nile, both of them having such a passion for the arts. He could only imagine what that phone call with Andy would be like, in which Nile would ask her why she hadn’t told her about the time she posed for a famous artist. He was also sure within a couple of days, Joe would receive a call about it too because surely he had known (he did). “How was that festival Sophia was taking you guys to?”

“Actually, that is what I was calling about,” Nicky spoke, shoulders tensing at the reminder of what had happened. “Something happened, and we had to tell Sophia the truth about us.”

There was a low breath on the other end of the line. “Oh shit, is Sophia okay?”

“Yes, she’s unhurt,” Nicky answered quickly, “She seems okay now, but she was scared last night. She was confused and so panicked.”

“That’s understandable, it’s a lot of information to take in at once.”

“I know. I also know that if she was upset about it, she wouldn’t tell us.”

“She doesn’t want to be that vulnerable with you?” Nile asked, seemingly confused now. “Is it because you guys spent so long apart?”

“She’s done this from the beginning. When Sophia is hurting, she tries to hide it from us. I believe...I believe she’s trying to spare us from hurting for her.”

“That makes sense. If she knows you guys get upset when she’s hurt, she won’t wanna burden you,” Nile supplied.

“I only want to help her.” It sounded as though Nicky was pleading with Nile, desperate for some way he could reach Sophia. “She’s acting like nothing happened, but if she keeps it up then...”

“Then the dam will break,” Nile finished. The words hung in the air before resting heavily in Nicky’s chest. His mind flashed to that moment in the grocery store all those years ago when Sophia was forced to face what had happened to her head-on. The broken cries coming from the girl as she clung to Joe were impossible to forget. They couldn’t do that again, he wasn’t sure he could bear it.

“I can be there tomorrow, Nicky. I could talk to her,” Nile offered.

It sounded great, actually. They would get to see Nile again and the woman could offer the kind of help to Sophia that they would be unable to give. The only problem was... “I wouldn’t want-”

“I won’t bring Sebastien. He’ll understand.”

“Only if you’re sure,” Nicky resolved, though already knew the woman’s answer. Nile truly was the best of them all.

* * *

True to her word, Nile had arrived early the next day. Her arrival was marked by excited shouting from Sophia, who nearly barreled the other woman over in greeting. It made Nicky wish the two women would have had more time together sooner. The scene was similar to how two college roommates might have greeted each other after spending the summer apart; both women gripping the other tightly with fond expressions on their faces.

Sophia had immediately launched into a story about how she had finally gotten to live in a small, worn-down New York apartment like she had always imagined. Nile had laughed then, so joyously Nicky forgot the reason why she was here in the first place, and told her that she had always known Sophia would make it there.

When the women finally retreated inside the house, Nicky wanted nothing more than to listen in. He wanted to hear how Nile was doing with her own words, not just the quick texts they shared whenever they remembered. They would be talking about how Sophia thought of their immortality, and he didn’t think he could wait for Nile’s second-hand recounting of it. Still, Nicky found himself pacing outside hoping that Sophia wasn’t too upset by the new revelation.

“Nicolò.” One word from that voice was all it took for Nicky to halt in his path, for his shoulders to relax and his mind to pause. “You’re going to wear down a path into the grass.”

Joe’s voice was light, clearly trying to tease Nicky, though when he looked at the man he mirrored the same worry Nicky felt.

“She’s having those nightmares again,” Nicky sighed, “She hasn’t had one since we’ve been here.”

“We will help her through them as we always did,” Joe returned, stepping forward to pull Nicky close to his chest. Simply being in Joe’s arms was enough for a rush of calm to flood through him. “What happened was traumatic for her, but Sophia’s strong. She’ll get through this.”

“She already had trust issues, Joe,” Nicky spoke, resting his forehead against Joe’s shoulder and shutting his eyes. “We just admitted that we’ve been lying to her from the beginning. She’ll never trust us again.”

“Don’t say that,” Joe spoke quickly, if a bit harshly, in return. “There will be forgiveness. We didn’t lose her.”

_ ‘Sophia’s gone, Joe, we lost her.’ _

Nicky squeezed his eyes shut tightly at the memory rising unbidden in his mind. His hands wrapped themselves into Joe’s shirt, clinging to the man as if he were the only thing keeping Nicky standing there.

“She was so alone.” The words sounded faraway. It took a second without the voice continuing for Nicky to realize he was the one who had spoken those words. “She was on the streets, Joe, alone and scared. We left her there. While we were swimming and painting and laughing in Malta, she was freezing and alone.”

“We searched for her, Nicky, we did as much as we could. We would have never stopped looking if there was any sign of where she went,” Joe reminded him, and he knew, of course he did, that Joe was right. Still, the guilt crushed his ribcage as the story Sophia had told him the previous night swirled in his head.

“We promised her a family and then we left her. Now, we’re telling her that we’ll always be there for her, and then admitting that we were never who she thought we were.” Nicky didn’t even realize he was crying until Joe was pulling back just enough to wipe the tears from his face with so much care, more than he would ever deserve, he thought. “We can’t stay with her. People will notice us like they always do. We will have to leave her again, and she knows that now, she knows.”

“No, we won’t leave her again, not like that,” Joe told him firmly. It was this voice he used that had first made Nicky trust him. The man spoke with such surety that Nicky knew even so soon after Jerusalem that he would follow Joe to the ends of the Earth. “We may have to leave her side, but we will always be there for her. We will always talk to her, and you know that if she ever needed us we would drop everything and return to her. Sophia will never have to be alone again.”

“She shouldn’t have been at all.”

“She shouldn’t have,” Joe agreed, voice tight with emotion. “We can’t fix that, not now, but we can promise her a future where she never knows loneliness again.”

“Could you try not being right all of the time?” Nicky murmured against Joe’s chest, then smiled as he felt the laughter shake the man’s body.

“I’m not sure I can help that,  _ habibi _ .”

“You could try,” Nicky huffed though there was no actual frustration in his tone.

“Alright, then I vow to try being wrong more often.”

“Okay, you two, not in front of the children,” another voice was calling out then, laughter bubbling up around the words. Nicky spun around to see Nile exiting the house, though Sophia wasn’t following behind her. At his look, Nile shrugged then tipped her head back in the direction of the house. “Joe, Sophia wants to talk to you.”

With a quick kiss, Joe stepped away from Nicky and back into the house, leaving Nile and Nicky standing outside. “Thank you, Nile,” he told her sincerely, knowing that she was needed for Sophia to finally open up about what happened.

“Will you show me the city? I’ve never been to Italy,” Nile suggested, “We can give them some time.” Was it really that bad? Nicky must have given her a look, for Nile sighed and patted his arm. “He’ll be fine, Nicky, I promise.”

That was how they ended up within the walls of the city, mostly walking around but Nile occasionally stopped them to look at a little shop or two.

“Sophia’s scared,” Nile admitted when they stopped for some lunch. They sat on a bench off of the main plaza, far enough from the main streets to talk without fear of being overheard.

Nicky let his head drop at the admission, confirming his worst fear. She was scared of them but couldn’t tell them as much. The woman would probably be better off if they left now before she got anymore frightened. 

“Hey, hey, not like that,” Nile quickly corrected, causing Nicky to whip his head up to stare at her. “She’s not scared  _ of _ you, she’s scared  _ for _ you.”

“She’s scared...for us?”

“You told her you run around the world and fight all the bad guys, of course she’s scared!” Nile returned, whacking him only lightly in the arm. “She’s scared you’ll get hurt. She’s scared of how much you’ve already been hurt.”

“But we can’t-”

“I know we can’t stay hurt, she knows that too. It doesn’t mean you’ve never been in pain.”

“We won’t take jobs then,” Nicky returned easily. It was the easiest decision in the world, if it meant putting Sophia’s mind at ease. They also hadn’t taken a job since they’d found her, not that she would have known that.

“Well, you might want to make it clear that’s your choice. Sophia feels really guilty right now,” Nile explained, “She thinks she’s forcing you guys to stay here. Like, you could be out saving the world and instead you feel stuck here. Sophia just needs some reassurance that this is what you guys want.”

“Thank you, Nile,” Nicky repeated, letting her words wash over him. Sophia was okay with this, they would all be okay. All it would take was time to let her know that she was important to them, more important than any job they could possibly take. She was a part of their family now, and that meant more than anything. “Immortality suits you.”

“I agree,” Nile returned, a smile on her face. “I still miss my family, but...this is what I was meant to do.”

“It’s alright to be with him, you know,” Nicky spoke up then, tilting his head so he could look right at her. He didn’t say the name, but he also knew he wouldn’t have to. In all of the times they’ve spoken, she’s always tried to avoid bringing up Booker for their sakes.

“I know he really messed up,” Nile answered, shrugging her shoulders.

“That doesn’t mean he won’t be forgiven,” Nicky reminded her, resting his hand on top of hers and squeezing once, gently. “When it comes to family, anything can be forgiven with time and effort. I can tell you’re good for him.”

“I don’t want to be away from everyone for a hundred years.”

“You won’t be,” Nicky said and he knew even as the words were said that he meant it. “You can always come to visit, you are always welcome with us or Andy and Quynh. Booker will be forgiven before his exile is done, too, I know that.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“He’s family, Nile. We were all so hurt when we made that decision. It may have seemed harsh or cruel, but we needed to make sure that when he came back, we would be able to accept him completely. We didn’t want him to come back before we were ready, for his sake too.”

“It was a precaution,” Nile sighed, and he knew then that she understood.

“Exactly. We will be a family again soon, I promise you.”

“Until then, I get to help you with Sophia,” Nile grinned, standing up and beginning to walk back in the direction of their house. “You can treat her like you treat us, you know. She won’t break.”

“I happen to know she is very breakable, Nile,” Nicky countered, thinking of all of the ways she could get hurt before even leaving the house for the day. How did any normal parents handle raising a child when they were that breakable and prone to injury?

“She’s twenty-four, Nicky, she can take care of herself. You don’t have to walk on eggshells,” Nile laughed at him.

“That is so young, Nile. She is still a child.”

“I was twenty-six when I met you all,” Nile countered, thinking that would really win the argument.

“Exactly,” Nicky laughed, “You were a child.”

When they got close to the house, Nicky was sure he felt what a heart attack was like. Joe and Sophia were outside and both were cracking up laughing. He thought he recognized the other sound clinking along with the sounds of clear joy, and his heart dropped when he saw the swords in their hands.

Nicky wanted to scream when Joe swung his, even seeing the visible signs that the man was holding back his true skill. Sophia blocked it with the sword in her hands, though the weapons still moved backwards closer to her as she didn’t have the strength built up to wield the heavy weapon. There were so many ways Sophia could accidentally get hurt. He still got nervous when he watched Joe spar with the others, and he knew the other man would heal from whatever accidental injuries occurred. It brought him instantly back to his and Nile’s conversation. Sophia is unbelievably  _ breakable _ , and she had no idea.

Sophia turned and noticed him then, a grin pulling on her face as she stepped away from the light sparring. Her hands dropped so only one hand was around the sword, blade tilted down so the point was scraping the ground. She used her other hand to wave wildly then with enough energy to pull a smile onto Nicky’s worried expression.

“I can’t believe you two had actual swords this whole time and you never told me!” she shouted, hardly noticing and Joe gently grabbed the sword from her and returned it to its sheath. Nicky let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as Sophia was put out of harm’s way once again.

“I told you, Soph. Normal people don’t have swords laying around the house, we couldn’t tell you,” Joe laughed, leaning the two blades up against the house and jogging over to give Nicky a quick hug and kiss.

“Still! This is so cool!” Sophia exclaimed, “How do I get a sword?” Absolutely not. There was no way Nicky could ever allow Sophia to be in a situation where she would need a sword. 

“Even I don’t have a sword yet, Soph,” Nile laughed, “You’ll have to wait a few more years.”

“What? Guys, c’mon, get this woman a sword!” Sophia practically shrieked, laughing the whole time. “I can’t believe you.”

“They aren’t particularly conducive to modern fighting styles,” Nicky pointed out. They still used theirs, sure, but that was because they’d had centuries of practice with them. Nile would be far more effective in a gunfight using a weapon more familiar to her.

“But they’re super conducive to being  _ totally badass _ ,” Sophia returned before turning and facing Joe again. “Can we go again? I think I can do better this time, honest.”

As the two set up for another play sparring session, Nile and Nicky sat against the house to watch. It would be nerve-wracking, but it was just as Nile said: he had to trust that she could take care of herself. As much as he hated to admit it, Sophia was an adult, even if she was so young. They had to trust her or she would just continue to think she was a burden to them.

As Sophia blocked a particularly clever strike from Joe then proceeded to drop her weapon to cheer, Nile turned to Nicky and said, “I think she’ll fit in just fine, knowing our secret.”

“I think so too.”


	7. September 2026 - Joe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, everyone. sorry for the delay in getting this posted. I got a little distracted with an idea for a joe/nicky au that I am now beginning to work on so I guess keep a lookout for that if you're interested. I also know this chapter is a little shorter than most of the previous chapters, but when I first wrote it the chapter ended up being like 20k and that felt too long for me. it felt a bit better to break it here and have a longer next chapter, so forgive me there.
> 
> also! I want to give a huge thank you to gelato_san who made some truly lovely art from this fic. they drew sophia, which is completely amazing and I'm blown away. so go check that out over here: https://gelato-san.tumblr.com/post/643588393861824512/the-drawing-that-i-made-of-the-oc-of-the-fic-head

In order to truly understand a person, one had to see them in the environment they were most comfortable in. 

It was one of the few phrases Joe could actually remember his father telling him. He had been only a boy then, barely over twelve years and trailing along behind his father to the docks of his hometown. After a millennium, Joe could no longer remember what his father looked like but he remembered the way those words sounded from him as Joe asked why his father didn’t trust some merchants within moments of speaking to them.

“I have never seen that man more comfortable than when he is gambling. That tells me that he is comfortable lying, and that does not make for a trustworthy business partner,” his father explained, pointing out one man with who Joe knew they never traded. “Now, Aziz only ever smiles fully around his children and wife. He values family as I do, and I know we will have similar interests in regards to business.”

When Joe had first met Nicky decades after that day on the docks, he was sure he had already seen the man in his most comfortable environment. Nicky was a warrior at heart, he was sure, far too comfortable holding a sword. This was a man who was violent, dangerous, and should not be trusted. Then, three years after they began traveling together, Joe witnessed Nicky in the city of Alexandria. 

A woman with a young child at her hip was being harassed by a couple of the men there on her way home one night. Typically the pair would stay out of trouble, not bringing attention to themselves unless necessary for fear of anyone seeing them heal. The moment a hand was raised against the woman, though, Nicky was in front of her in an instant. The Frank took on three men on his own, taking them down with perfect strikes. His entire body softened as he faced the woman, offering her his only cloak as he noticed her threadbare clothes and shivering body. He gave her his only rations of the day, too, speaking in what little Arabic he knew to make the child stop crying from fear and instead laugh so boisterously that Joe himself chuckled from a distance. It was in that moment that Joe saw Nicky’s true smile for the first time; wide, a little crooked, but completely free of the guilt he’d carried for years beside Joe. Nicky was not a warrior or soldier at heart, no he was a  _ protector _ .

Joe was certain that he knew Sophia. She was an artist; her beautiful words on the page and soulful food were masterpieces. The young woman was unbelievably kind and strong, funny in an unassuming way; the way she’d let a joke slip so easily into the middle of a conversation would catch Joe off-guard and have him crying with laughter more often than not. She was strong in heart but came across so soft in spirit.

This was not the Sophia he knew, moving about the outdoor kitchen setup with a fire in her stance. Watching Sophia compete made Joe feel as though he hadn’t ever truly seen her before. The woman was strong with absolutely no hesitation or fear in her body language. She commanded her kitchen with a ferocity he had never seen from her before. This was where Sophia belonged.

It was a cooking competition put on by rival restaurants for charity. The head chefs of the three restaurants were all world-famous and had decided it would be a great learning experience for their apprentices. It was such an honor to Sophia that she had panicked over it for weeks after finding out, constantly practicing wild dishes from strange combinations of ingredients. “They’re giving us a box of ingredients and we have to make dishes from those. I’ve never done anything like this and I refuse to lose to  _ her _ ,” Sophia had explained one night when Joe caught her cooking at two in the morning.

Joe hadn’t asked who _ she _ was, but now it was obvious. The other competitor was a young man probably in his mid-thirties who seemed to be floundering a little under the pressure. The ingredients given to them all were certainly strange; Joe and Nicky spent the first few minutes considering what they could possibly make with seemingly contrasting ingredient flavor profiles. The third competitor, however, was clearly on-par with Sophia’s creativity and talent. She was a native to Bologna according to the pamphlet they were handing around at the beginning of the competition. Gia Benedetti, with smooth olive skin and brown eyes. Her red chef’s coat stood out amongst the man’s black one and Sophia’s traditional white one. She was a wildfire, Joe could instantly tell, and it was also clear that her and Sophia had met once or twice.

Sophia was cordial with the man when they passed each other in the small cooking environment, but with Gia, there were always words spit in rapid Italian. Most were competitive and taunting in nature, with some quips making Joe laugh.

“I wasn’t aware she knew such harsh words in Italian,” Joe laughed to Nicky who at least had the decency to look a little sheepish.

“She didn’t before we arrived,” Nicky admitted, rubbing at the back of his neck briefly.

“Nicolò,” Joe admonished, “you can’t teach our daughter such nasty words.”

“She’s putting them to good use,” Nicky laughed, watching as once again Sophia and Gia glared at each other.

“They have quite the rivalry,” Joe pointed out, unable to ignore the tension wrapped around the two young women. “You don’t think our Soph has a crush, do you?”

“For Gia?” Nicky asked for confirmation, expression surprised at the suggestion Joe made. Looking back at them though, Joe knew that he had never seen Sophia get so flustered by another person before. “It’s possible.”

“They act like we did, in those early years,” Joe explained, “Soph can’t take her eyes off her.”

“They’re rivals.”

“When did that ever stop anyone? When did that stop us?” Joe spoke up.

“We are different,” Nicky pointed out, and Joe did suppose that was true. They were forced to reconcile their differences only because they truly thought they would outlive everyone else.

“Are you willing to bet on that?” He wasn’t sure when his love developed such a penchant for making bets, but there was no way Joe would stop him. Though Joe usually tried to keep his wagers within reason, Booker had always had no problem egging Nicky on to place wild bets against him. Most of the time Nicky lost, though that never stopped the man from participating.

“And what is the prize?” Nicky asked then, a furious blush overtaking his face as Joe suggested, “The usual?” Joe would never get tired of pulling that response from his husband.

As the judges began to deliberate on who created the best dish with the ingredients given, the competing chefs all gathered around each other. Joe and Nicky were close enough that they could just hear snippets from the conversation.

“That was smart to make a roux with the rice flour,” Gia was telling Sophia, who looked surprised at the compliment until the woman continued, “Even if it  _ was _ tame.”

“It wasn’t  _ tame _ ,” Sophia countered, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at the other woman with an incredulous look. “It was a good decision.”

“Maybe, if you wanted to make the safe choice,” Gia shrugged, and Joe could see Sophia’s face literally turn red. “Though I should’ve expected that from you.”

“And what about you? You took so many risks there’s no way your flavor combination actually works,” Sophia snapped back, “There’s also no way that pork was cooked all the way through. You can’t cook it in that amount of time.”

“How would you know? That’s up to the judges to decide if they’d rather a perfect safe dish or an inventive dish with a minor flaw.”

“Raw meat isn’t a minor flaw!” Sophia spluttered, “And my dish wasn’t safe!”

“We’ll just have to leave it to the judges, then.”

“Fine. May the best chef win, Benedetti.”

“Oh, she will, Jones.”

Sophia scoffed and stepped away, shoulders still full of tension by the time she reached Joe and Nicky. Joe couldn’t help but chuckle at the confrontation, quickly wrapping his arm around her shoulders in a quick hug. “You did wonderfully, Sophia. You’ll win without a doubt,” he reassured her.

“Benedetti had a point. I probably could have taken another risk or two,” Sophia sighed, tucking a couple of stray hairs back into her bun.

“You can’t change it now, so what’s the use in worrying about it?” Nicky spoke up, right as Joe also said, “Your dish was absolutely perfect, Soph, and the judges will see that.”

“You didn’t even try it, how would you know?” Sophia shot back, though some of the tension had eased from her shoulders then.

“Trust me on these things,” Joe answered while looking right at Nicky, “I’ve been eating perfect food for a millennia.”

“Thank you,  _ tesoro _ , you spoil me,” Nicky returned, expression softened as he leaned forward to kiss Joe’s cheek.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Sophia protested, wiggling in between them as best she could. “Ever heard the phrase ‘Leave room for Jesus’ because that definitely applies here.”

It wasn’t too often that Joe had the privilege of seeing Nicky looking absolutely scandalized anymore. In the beginning, nearly everything could draw that stunned and embarrassed look from him, but by now there was hardly anything that shocked him. Nicky repeated the words carefully, in almost a whisper as he tried to understand them.

“You guys are adorable, but you can’t go from complimenting me to flirting with each other that’s not how this works,” Sophia answered in a mock stern tone, though she was laughing the whole time.

“Speaking of flirting,” Joe began, drawing out the words a little. If Sophia wanted to tease them, then he had no problem throwing it right back at her. Besides, he would have to intervene a little if he were to ever win that bet with Nicky. “How about you and that chef?”

“ _ Benedetti? _ ” Sophia practically shouted, drawing a couple of glances over to her. “No, we aren’t flirting.”

“It sure appeared as though you were.”

“I  _ hate _ her, so much,” Sophia answered, “So much, Joe.”

“You know Nicky and I hated each other in the beginning too.” Joe was practically grinning at this point, “Now look at us?”

Sophia mimicked Nicky’s scandalized look so well that Joe almost considered the possibility of them being distantly related. “We aren’t going to be like you two. Actually, there is no ‘we’, even, because Benedetti is too irritating to be around me long enough to have a ‘we’.”

“Okay, Joe, stopping teasing her,” Nicky laughed, head tilted back with a freeness that Joe didn’t often see in public. It only made sense that he and Soph were able to pull that out of the man, though, as Joe also knew that both of them felt more happiness with Sophia than they had in years.

Joe conceded, raising his hands as if to say he surrendered, though a small smirk still remained on his face.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Sophia snapped, pointing at him. He could tell from the look on her face though, that she wasn’t actually mad. She had a tell; the corner of her lips kept lifting and dropping as she fought back a smile.

“How am I looking at you?” Joe laughed, knowing he was instigating something here.

“You know how you’re looking at me. Stop it.”

“I don’t know what you mean? I’m just standing here innocently.”

“I’m replacing your conditioner with hair bleach.”

“You wouldn’t!” Joe gasped, eyes widening for only a moment as he considered the seriousness of her threat.

“Try me.”

“I’ll hide your white converse,” Joe countered.

“Oh, you can try but-”

“Do I have to separate you two?” Nicky asked, voice full of exasperation while his expression could only be described as amused.

“No,  _ Mom _ ,” Sophia sighed right as Joe said, “No, Nicky, I’m sorry,” in the exact same tone of voice.

“Good, because that would be embarrassing for both of you,” Nicky returned, “Now, it looks like the judges are almost finished. Good luck, Sophia.”

“Thanks, Nicky,” Sophia answered, smoothing out her chef’s coat and letting out a breath before squaring her shoulders and starting to head back up to the small stage.

“You’re our number one no matter what, Soph!” Joe yelled after her, laughing loudly at the pink spreading across her cheeks.

“Is it your new goal to embarrass her whenever the opportunity presents itself?” Nicky asked, wrapping his arm around Joe’s waist in a way that still made Joe’s chest swell with happiness.

“Perhaps,” Joe admitted, “It’s fun, isn’t it? Besides, someone needs to be the embarrassingly supportive dad.”

* * *

“Do I live too safe? Do I not take enough risks?”

If Joe had his way, then Sophia would never take another risk again. Still, he understood where this was coming from about a week after the competition. She hadn’t quite gotten over the second-place loss; though Joe guessed it wasn’t that she lost but rather who she lost to that was the problem.

“You packed up all your belongings and flew to Italy to chase your dream without any plan for where you would live, what you would do if the job offer wasn’t real, anything. You couldn’t even speak Italian. I wouldn’t call you adverse to taking risks,” Joe answered, laughing as Sophia shrugged at that and took a swig of her drink. 

“That was one time though,” she countered. It was still strange, sitting around a fire and having a drink with her. Though he and Nicky had time to get to know the Sophia of now, he couldn’t help but see that scared teenager she’d been when they’d first met. “I think I need to take more risks.”

“Is there a risk in particular that you’re thinking about?” Joe tried, wondering if perhaps the two empty beer bottles beside her chair might be enough to lower her defenses.

Sophia pursed her lips a little, staring down at the bottle in her hand without speaking for a long moment. “You know I had a girlfriend? Back in New York?” she spoke, seemingly derailing the conversation. Joe knew her by now, though, and understood this would connect somehow.

It was impossible not to know about that girlfriend after he and Nicky watched Sophia’s Youtube videos. From what Joe could gather, they had been together for at least a year and the other woman was a model. They broke up sometime before Sophia’s move to Italy, though it was never explained why. He had thought about asking, though when the woman never once came up in any story Sophia told them about her past, he thought best to wait for her to bring it up herself. Clearly, something had happened there that she hadn’t been ready to process yet.

“The model, right?” Joe finally landed on asking.

“Yeah, yeah she’s a model,” Sophia sighed, “Leah and I dated for two years, we even lived together for a while. I really thought she could’ve been the one.”

“It didn’t work out though.”

“No, it really didn’t. I think she was jealous there at the end, maybe? We fought so much about Italy, about me wanting to be a chef when I already had a career making videos. For a couple of months, it seemed like all we could do was fight.”

“That happens,” Joe spoke up, “Some people aren’t meant to be together. It’s to no fault of either person, it just happens.”

“I know that, I do, but something she said just keeps....” Sophia waved her hand a little, wincing at the thought of whatever it was that Leah had told her. “It reminded me of what Benedetti said, is all.”

“That you don’t take enough risks?”

“Worse, that I run away from situations when they get hard. That I get faced with the choice of taking a risk or not and I choose to run entirely.”

Joe sighed, wishing briefly that he could have a drink to help him through this conversation. He knew full well where this was headed, and wondered if it would be better to ask Nicky to join them. Nicky had said he wanted to spend some time reading in the house that night, though Joe had understood it was giving him and Sophia time to talk as they both had seen that something had been bothering her lately.

“I ran from you guys.” Sophia’s voice was tight with tears and though Joe couldn’t see her perfectly, he could see the firelight reflecting gently off of the tear tracks on her face. “I ran away because I thought I was protecting you. Turns out you guys can’t get hurt, and, and I caused everyone more pain than necessary by running.”

“No, Sophia, don’t think like that,” Joe immediately returned, turning in his chair so he could face her better. It killed him to think that she blamed herself for what had happened those years ago. “What happened wasn’t anyone’s fault but that man who dared to call himself your father.”

“I just think about how much time I lost, how...how much happier we all could have been if I wouldn’t have taken off.”

“I think about it too,” Joe admitted. If Sophia had been allowed to stay with them, what would it have been like? They would never have started taking jobs again; instead, all of them settling down together. She could have really met Quynh who Joe knew would love her. Sophia wouldn’t have had to spend time on the street, or with this girlfriend who clearly had hurt her. “Nicky would call it destiny.”

“What, like everything happens for a reason? I’ve heard that before, you know.”

“As happy as we would have been as a family, you have to believe that this is the way things were meant to be. You wouldn’t have gotten a normal life if you stayed with us. You wouldn’t have ended up here, achieving a dream you would have never known you even had if you’d stayed with us,” Joe explained, giving a small smile and hoping it didn’t come across as sad as it felt, “If I’ve learned anything from the nine hundred years I’ve had, it’s that sometimes you have to trust the world around you. Every decision you make is important but you have to trust that you made the right choice otherwise you’ll spend your entire life regretting too much. It took longer than any of us hoped, but we all got here in the end, as a family. You running away only ensured that you would have a life beyond us, as well.”

“You really don’t regret anything?” Sophia asked then.

“I have regretted choices I have made, yes,” Joe tried to explain, “But I’ve learned to let them go, in time. It would make this long life too difficult if I had to shoulder every mistake forever.”

“Thanks, Joe,” Sophia spoke up after a couple of minutes. He recognized that tone from her; she would likely stay up pretty late that night to consider everything that was said. That slightly unsure tone was enough to tell Joe that Sophia was a little overwhelmed, understandably so.

“Of course, Soph. We’ll always be here when you need us.”

“Even years down the road? When I get old?” Sophia sounded so unsure of herself that Joe thought for a second this was a memory of when she was seventeen. His heart ached to consider the future they had ahead of them, when Sophia would grow old without them, when they would have to say goodbye to her. Joe usually saw their immortality as a gift, though considering the future of outliving Sophia was the first time in centuries that he thought maybe it was a curse. He and Nicky, even the others, always had each other, yes, but they would only  _ ever _ have each other; doomed to outlive everything and everyone else they could ever love.

“No matter what, Sophia, we will always be here. We’ll have to move away from Bologna eventually, but all it takes is a call and we’ll be here. You are our family, and you will always be our family.”

“You won’t forget about me?”

“You? I could never forget you, Soph,” Joe reassured her, though when the look of worry didn’t clear from her face he continued, “That’s part of why I draw the people I care about so often. After nine hundred years it can be difficult to remember what my family looked like, but now I have records of everyone I love. There’s no way to forget, even after another millennium.”

“And there’s no way I’m like you guys?”

“I wish you were, but...” Joe ran his fingers through his curls, wondering how to explain this without hurting her. It would have been lovely to keep the hope alive, but it would make it hurt all the more in the future when the inevitable happened. “It doesn’t happen often, that there’s a new one of us. Booker, he didn’t show up until five hundred years after Nicky and I. Nile, she’s new, not even a decade has passed since she joined us. I would love nothing more than for you to have eternity, but no, I don’t believe you’re like us.”

Joe was expecting more tears, maybe a gentle hug. Instead, Sophia nodded once and stood, gathering up her empty bottles. She flashed him a smile, and Joe recognized the determination set in her stance from the day of that competition.

“Well, then I’ll just have to use my time wisely, huh?”

* * *

“Sophia Isabelle Jones, how is this using your time wisely?”

“What do you mean? This is a great use of my time,” Sophia returned, an ‘innocent’ smile on her face as she looked between two shirts, shrugged, and tossed both into her bag.

When Joe and Nicky had gotten the call, Joe was certain it was a joke. Sophia,  _ their Sophia _ , was going on a relief trip with three others. After a devastating earthquake, she and a couple of other chefs she knew were traveling to Spain to help with the relief effort. They rushed to her apartment when they realized she was serious about leaving immediately.

“You could get hurt,” Nicky spoke up then, though Sophia didn’t pause in her packing. “Stop and think about this for a moment,  _ cara _ .”

“I have thought about it! We can make a serious impact here,” Sophia explained, “These people need help, they need volunteers with basic first aid, and handing out relief kits. They need food, too, and we can help with that. Besides, the earthquake already happened.”

“It’s still dangerous, Sophia,” Joe tried this time, “The infrastructure is shaken now, crime rates have increased since the earthquake. It’s not safe for you.”

“I want to do this, guys, you’re not convincing me otherwise. Now, you can have my last memory of you for three months be you being mad at me, or you can give me a hug and wish me luck.”

Joe hated it when Sophia made good points. He sighed, being the first to cave and hold out his arms for her. Sophia grinned then, practically slamming into his chest and wrapping her arms tight around him. “I’ll be okay, I promise.”

“Who are you going with?” Joe finally asked as she stepped back from him to give Nicky a hug.

“Enzo and Nora from the restaurant are coming with me,” Sophia answered. Joe knew them to be some of her closest friends; one a server and the other a bartender for her restaurant.

“You said there were three,” Nicky pointed out.

Sophia sighed, shaking her head and returning to checking her bag. “Benedetti wanted to go, and Enzo insisted because he lives to torture me.”

“Well, good luck then, though you won’t need it,” Joe told her as she shrugged her backpack over her shoulders and picked up her other bag. “Call us if you need anything. We’ll be there immediately.”

“Be safe,  _ cara _ . Don’t take any unnecessary risks. It’s courageous to want to help these people, but put yourself above all else,” Nicky added.

“Right. I’ll be back for Christmas,” Sophia promised before shutting the door behind her with a resounding ‘click’. All at once, Joe understood three things.

First, it would be a long three months worrying for their Sophia.

Second, he would almost assuredly be winning his and Nicky’s bet by Christmas.

Third, and perhaps the most painful of all of them, was that Sophia had truly found her place in the world, and Joe wasn’t certain that they were needed.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading! I try to update this every few days, though sometimes the editing takes longer.
> 
> my inbox is always open and I'm on tumblr @writer-in-theory


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